012.- AIRPORT 1975 (1974, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Also streaming on NETFLIX.
The second most popular movie Linda Blair appeared in after "The Exorcist," "Airport 1975" (which was actually released in 1974) made bank with $103 million worldwide box office on a $3 million budget. Linda plays Janice, the little girl who desperately needs an organ transplant or is certain to die. She befriends a singing nun (singer Helen Reddy) who serenades Janice with a guitar. 99% of movie viewers don't remember this because the parody versions of these characters in 1980's "Airplane!" overshadowed the genuine articles. But for as little as Linda Blair has to do in her own disaster movie (look pretty, tired and/or despondent) she left an impression, enough for the Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker comedy trio to single out her character in their spoof flick.
To say the cast of "Airport '75" is stacked is like saying June is a beloved month for F This Movie. Some old-timers (Sid Caesar, Jerry Stiller, Norman Fell, Gloria Swanson, etc.) mug a little too aggressively, but the actors playing their dramatic roles straight (Chuck Heston, Karen Black, George Kennedy, Efrem Zimbalist Jr., Susan Clark, etc.) don't embarrass themselves. The plot/production values feel a slight step above made-for-TV (widescreen cinematography, a real airplane filmed flying through mountains and crash-landing), and the make-believe tension is only matched by the now-gone appeal of the 747 plane being a technological/transportation marvel. As entertainingly inoffensive as 70's disaster movies get. 3.15 MIRNA LOY'S BOILERMAKER DRINKS (out of five).
013 & 014.- EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (ORIGINAL THEATRICAL & HOME VIDEO VERSIONS, 1977, SHOUT! FACTORY BLU-RAY). Also streaming on TUBI.
In a 2018 interview with Linda Blair included in this Shout! Factory Blu-ray set, she says she can't fathom anybody finding any fun watching "Exorcist II: The Heretic," but that she and her fellow actors gave it their best shot regardless. Linda says she gets it if people don't like the final product, but that she also gets it if some people find enjoyment here where others find none. I'm firmly in the camp that has learned to enjoy its silly moments (anytime anybody says 'Pazuzu!' with a straight face), appreciate the ambition behind its choices (filming African locations in impressively-designed indoor sets), and admire the best aspects (Richard Burton playing it straight, imaginative on-camera special effects, Ennio Morricone going for broke with a memorable score, etc.) of this John Boorman-helmed sequel to "The Exorcist." It's a deeply flawed picture at its core, particularly the lack of scary scenes or even atmospheric horror (there is none). If watched third behind the first "Exorcist" and 1990's "Exorcist III" (William Peter Blatty's true sequel to the events/characters left dangling at the conclusion of the '73 movie), "Exorcist II" stands a better chance of making a stronger first impression.
As has become my unofficial tradition, whenever "The Exorcist II" Shout! BD comes out both versions are watched back-to-back. The original 117 min. theatrical cut is allowed to breathe and feels nicely paced, leading to a bittersweet ending that gives all characters (even Kitty Winn's Sharon) a proper ending and the full version of Morricone's 'Regan's Theme' (so good! 😍🥰) during the closing credits. The home video cut (102 min.) chops key scenes here and there (no Regan learning to tap dance) and has an abrupt ending with a more acid rock version of the end song. Neither version makes Louise Fletcher look great, but both cuts highlight how good Richard Burton, Max Von Sydow and young Linda Blair hold their own against the troubled production surrounding them. 4 YOUNG DANA PLATO CAMEOS (out of five, THEATRICAL) & 3.25 BLOODY CAB DRIVERS PINNED UNDER STEERING WHEEL (out of five, HOME VIDEO).
015.- SAVAGE ISLAND (1985, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on MGM+, FAWESOME.
I was duped! 🥵 Linda Blair gets near-top billing for appearing in this Ted Nicolaou flick about women being exploited as slave labor in an emerald mine in the South American jungle by cruel, ugly and r@pey foreign men. But Linda isn't in any of the footage from two Edoardo Mulargia movies (1980's "Escape From Hell" and "Hotel Paradise") cobbled together by Nicolaou. She's in the beginning and ending (about 5-7 min. total) shooting Penn Jillete's brains off (not a spoiler, happens near the start) and sharing the main movie's plot with crooked banker Luker (Leon Askin) via ADR VO. "Savage Island" is literally and figuratively a shit sandwich, with Linda Blair the bread holding together an unpleasant, not-that-entertaining, women-in-peril jungle meat treat. It's only day three and I've already failed spectacularly at my June job. 😢😭1.35 LAREDO'S UNREWARDED ACTS OF KINDNESS (out of five).
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 3! 016.- THE PINK PANTHER: THE PINK PHINK (12/18/64, DVD). Available to stream on YOUTUBE.
The very first theatrical cartoon starring The Pink Panther, "The Pink Phink" has the distinction of being the only "PP" media to have received an Academy Award (Best Animated Short). With Friz Freleng at the helm, William Lava rearranging the Henry Mancini-composed score to a more jazzy beat, and John Dunn penning the first of dozens of scripts, "Pink Phink" also introduces 'The Little Man' (though he looks rather tall in this debut) as the perennial antagonist to the Panther's "Tom and Jerry"-inspired antics. Simple premise: Little Man's a painter who wants to paint a house blue, the Pink Panther wants it painted pink. Hilarity ensues for a little over six minutes, which debuted on December of '64 in theaters before moving to endless reruns on TV and, of course, YouTube and streaming. 4 ROTATING LAWN SPRINKLERS PAINTING A BLUE ROOM PINK (out of five).
Tough as flaming nails high schooler Linda Blair is avenging the savage defilement of her sweet and innocent, deaf-mute little sister played by Linnea Quigley. A sleazy and lurid portrait of 1980s Hollywood Blvd. haters and punk trash. Plus a supporting turn by a foul mouthed Dean Wormer. The Golden Raspberry people can go fork themselves. This rips!
An exploitation classic for sure. One thing I will say is that It is a little hard to buy Blair and the cast as teenagers. And bear traps being sold in L.A. stores? I am thinking about it too much.
I really enjoy the soundtrack for Savage Streets. Very catchy and very '80s.
Linda Blair is the new prisoner trying to figure out a complicated environment in this sleazy slice of women-in-prison cinema. Around her is an excellent cast with John Vernon, Stella Stevens, Henry Silva, and a bunch of faces who would find a place in 1980s genre cinema. This hits most of the WIP tropes with a large dose of nudity, but it also does prison drama well. Blair and company give it their all, sometimes succeeding in covering up the exploitative nature of the story. Also, the quality of the filmmaking is high, adding a little class to the crassness.
This will probably be the longest watch in the making for this Junesploitation. The DVD has been in my collection for at least seven years and a candidate for a June watch most of that time.
Get it? Because her name is Blair and she's a... you get it. This is a 20-minute ZAZ-style parody of the Blair Witch Project with Linda playing the Heather part. If any of the below make you laugh check it out: - Burkisttsville, MD has been renamed to Jerkittsville. - Instead of arguing about a map, Heather, Josh and Mike argue over a globe (she brought a globe into the woods to navigate). - At one point Linda Blair tells Josh to stop chucking rocks because his mother chucks rocks in hell. - During the "I'm so scared" monologue: "I'm scared to close my eyes. I'm scared to open them. I'm scared to cross them" (crosses eyes) - The end credits song is a parody song in the style of Sinatra's "Witchcraft"... You guessed it... "B*tchcraft". I'm totally ashamed for laughing as much as I did.
Wynorski joint. Linda Blair is a lawyer's wife who uses dark magic to get her husband better situated in his firm. But she faces tough opposition from fellow sorceress Julie Strain - who is not afraid to use her full-bodied softcore witchcraft in her own little power games, even after she technically dies in the opening scene. I'm a sucker for tawdry witch stories where men are just clueless puppets in the hands of wicked ladies, so I was thoroughly entertained.
Calendar Girl, Cop, Killer? The Bambi Bembenek Story (1992)
If you grew up in the early 90s, you remember the headlines. You couldn’t turn on the news or flip through a tabloid without a show about the Playboy Bunny cop who supposedly blew away her husband’s ex-wife and then made a break for it. It was the kind of tawdry, real-life soap opera that television networks couldn’t resist, so naturally, we got Calendar Girl, Cop, Killer? The Bambi Bembenek Story.
Let’s be honest: this isn’t high art. It’s a classic, ripped-from-the-headlines TV movie that feels like it was put together while the ink on the newspaper was still wet. It’s got that quintessential 90s made-for-TV feel, with lighting just a little too flat, pacing a bit rushed, and the moral ambiguity of the case sanded down to fit into a two-hour time slot.
Lindsay Frost plays Laurie “Bambi” Bembenek, and she does a decent job navigating the impossible tightrope of the role: is she a victim of a corrupt Milwaukee police force or is she the cold-blooded killer everyone in the courtroom thinks she is?
She’s surrounded by a roster of “Hey, it’s that guy!” character actors who make this a fun watch for any pop-culture junkie. Timothy Busfield (fresh off thirtysomething) plays the husband, Fred Schultz, while Linda Blair shows up as Jane Mader. We get the always-menacing Tobin Bell as Dan Cushman, the reliably grizzled Ed Lauter as Lieutenant Driscoll, and Peter Jurasik bringing some credibility to the ensemble. Even the smaller roles are peppered with familiar faces like the late Don S. Davis (General Hammond from Stargate SG-1) and character veteran John Karlen.
Behind the lens, the film was steered by veteran TV director Jerry London (Shogun, Rent-a-Cop). If you grew up watching network television in the 80s and 90s, you’ve seen London’s work. He was a master of the event miniseries and the ripped-from-the-headlines drama. For this script, writers Larry and Paul Barber took on the unenviable task of adapting John Greenya’s book, condensing a massive, messy, multi-year legal circus into a digestible two-hour narrative. They leaned into the tabloid beats, keeping the pacing brisk enough to avoid getting bogged down in the finer points of Wisconsin criminal law.
The film dives headfirst into the sensationalism of the case, exploring the bad marriage, the security job at Marquette, and the eventual prison break that turned her into a folk hero with the “Run, Bambi, Run” slogan.
What elevates this above your average bargain-bin drama is the sheer absurdity of the facts it’s trying to juggle. You have a woman who was a cop, a model, a convict and a fugitive, all in the span of a few years. The movie doesn’t have the budget to be a sprawling crime epic, so it leans into the character study angle, focusing on the media frenzy. It’s a fascinating, if messy, time capsule of a moment in American true crime history.
Is it a masterpiece? No. But like a lot of the best low-budget or TV-movie efforts, it has a weird, earnest energy. It’s convinced that its subject is the most important story in the world, and there’s something undeniably compelling about that.
Bail Out a.k.a. W.B., Blue and the Bean (1989, dir. Max Kleven)
A rich industrialist's daughter (Blair) is kidnapped by a drug cartel to stop her from testifying against them, so a bail bondsman tasks three bounty hunters, "White Bread" (David Hasselhoff), "Blue" (Tony Brubaker) and "Bean" (Thomas Rosales Jr.) with finding her.
This was pretty bland. The story's unremarkable, the direction's flat, the action's infrequent and forgettable, David Hasselhoff isn't as charismatic as he thinks he is, the other nounty hunters are relegated to sidekicks, and although Linda Blair gets a little into the action by the end, she spends most of her screen time as a damsel in distress. Charlie Brill is a highlight as the grouchy bail bondsman and would you believe it, George "Buck" Flower plays a homeless man.
I tried watching a cop comedy called Night Patrol first, but it was aggressively bad (opinion based solely on the first five minutes), so I switched to this. I guess I'm more forgiving of a bad thriller than a bad comedy.
This was my pick as well! A waste of Linda Blair and it was weird seeing Hasselhoff in something R-rated (for language mostly). Also I'm the world's only Night Patrol fan.
THE CHILLING (1989) A cryogenics lab is the setting for a dark and murderous conspiracy, in this cautionary tale warning viewers about the dangers of cryogenics. Blair is one of the big ensemble, playing a lab tech caught up on it all. This is the best kind of exploitation trash in how sincere it is. The filmmakers think they’re making a Scorsese-level crime epic, only to pivot into full-on horror in act three, seemingly unaware how cheeseball this is. I wonder if this is another case of a movie starting out as one thing and then becoming another during production. The YouTube commenters argue that this was an intentional comedy all along, but I don’t know. If nothing else, everyone should check out the opening text crawl, which is a perfect snapshot of what this movie is.
30 days of fan films, day 3: HALLOWEEN NIGHT (2020) The slashers are ubiquitous among fan films, probably because they’re the easiest to make. If you can afford the mask, a rubber knife, and some fake blood, then you’ve got yourself a movie! Case in point, here’s Michael Myers slicing n’ dicing his way through the suburbs on Oct. 31 again, with Dr. Loomis’ long-lost niece in his path. Despite the cheapness, I rather enjoyed this one. There are lots of little nods to Carpenter’s original and a likable final girl.
Now that’s a Junesploitation movie! Linda Blair is a(n alarmingly baby-faced) bad girl whose innocent sister (Linnea Quigley) is raped and left for dead by a gang of leather-jacketed toughs, prompting Blair to grab Chekhov’s crossbow and hit the streets for revenge.
Blair’s tough-girl act is never quite convincing, but the movie has a strong sleazy streak to go along with its overwrought performances and predictable plotting. It’s directed by Danny Steinmann, who would go on the next year to give us the gift that is Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, to this day the skeeziest Friday. Bonus points to this one for John Vernon’s performance as the school principal who takes absolutely no shit, particularly for his delivery of the line “go fuck an iceberg.” Dude should have had a spinoff, it could have started something bigger than the Fast & Furious franchise.
Ill say this alot this month...i hope...but this is a great pick for junesploitation that checks many boxes. The premise is basic....a clique of high school girls vs a gang of bad dudes. At first its prank based but things turn very very dark quickly and we find ourselves in the genre of rape/revenge. Think Death Wish but with Blair in the lead role. Unsettling watch for sure but of the genre well done. My only critique is the revenge is sort of rushed in the final moments...BUT....it is depicted in a bit of a home-alone traps setting which is nice. Yet another of countless movies that i NEVER would have seen if it wasnt for the calendar day selection..
Hell Night (1981) Screened at the Selwin on September 4th 1981 on a double bill with Legend of Wolf Woman Should have been better... great setting (historic mansion w/ lots of candles), pretty solid premise, some good kills and an uneven but game cast (Blair is fine- kind of coasting, but still charming... the real standout to me was British actress Suki Goodwin, who didn't seem to do much after but has public Facebook profile now and regularly posts about Hell Night- love to see it). Unfortunately it has some real filler-itis. It's a far too long 101 minutes- which I didn't think I'd mind at first- I'm usually down for the more hangout vibe, and the "teenagers" had a fun enough rapport- but as more were dispatched, the between kills filler mostly just became one person walking down long dimly lit hallways.
RED HEAT (1985, Robert Collector & Ernst R. von Theumer, Germany)
CHAINED HEAT, it ain’t. Dank, dark, and dreary Cold War WIP flick, not quite grimy or titillating enough to reach Jess Franco depths, not well-executed enough to rise to memorable-- or consistently entertaining-- status. Linda plays a Hitchcockian “wrong woman” who witnesses a commie kidnapping caper and is subsequently thrown into Sylvia Kristel’s sadistic cesspool of degrading depravity. There’s no hijinks or humor in this dour Deutschland effort, but Linda going berserk and attacking Kristel with a toilet brush was pretty entertaining. Oddly, the filmmakers roped in Tangerine Dream to provide the score, so there’s another plus. But the film’s biggest asset is probably the absence of Jim Belushi.
Sarah T. -- Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic (1975) Sincere Made-For-TV movie directed by Richard (Superman) Donner and featuring the ultimate Junesploitation cast: Linda (Exorcist) Blair, Mark (Star Wars) Hamill, William (The Graduate) Daniels, Verna (Animal House) Bloom, Larry (Beware the Blob) Hagman, M. Emmet (Blade Runner) Walsh, Michael (Barton Fink) Lerner, and Laurette (Airport 1975) Spang. Blair sings the Carole King song "It's Too Late" drunk at a party. She's not too bad. I wonder what she sounds like sober? Remember, the first step is the most difficult; after that, there will be people to help you!"
What do you get when you add Late 70s America's passion for Roller Skating and Disco, and combine it in the most Cannon movie ever made by someone not named Golan or Globus. Linda Blair is likable as the spoiled rich girl/genius/musical prodigy. She's also really good at pretending to skate, her double is spectacular. Paul Bray is really good at skating. Once the top amateur roller skater in the world, he gave up his amateur status after a ten-year reign to star in this movie. According to google this guy was everywhere with his skates in the late 70s/early 80s. Their characters meet, fall in love, stop the mobsters from stealing the skating rink and win the big contest then she goes off to Juilliard, and he goes off to skate in the Olympics. (fun fact skating was never an Olympic event but there was a team demo in the 90s.) Is it good? nope. Is it fun? kind of. is it worth watching? yeah.
Warning For some reason Paul Brays a very tall and lanky guys wardrobe in the movie is red and yellow. Not sure if intentional, but I spent a lot of time craving Mcdonalds
I picked the wrong Linda Blair movie with "Savage" in the title. I chose this one because of the 79 minute runtime, but I'm pretty sure it's the longest movie I've ever watched. Is it too early to quit Junesploitation?
Definitely the sleaziest selection of the month so far. Linda Blair goes to a particularly gnarly, corrupt, gang-infested prison and struggles to fit in. I had a good time in spite of some tough-to-watch scenes, and I really liked where the movie went in the end.
Duchess rules.
I really got a kick out of "One more peep outta you, you'll all go to solitary!" Lady, then it won't be very solitary.
I only just turned it on so I don't have much to say, but I can already tell this isn't going to be a good movie, while also being one of the best decisions I could have made for today.
012.- AIRPORT 1975 (1974, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Also streaming on NETFLIX.
ReplyDeleteThe second most popular movie Linda Blair appeared in after "The Exorcist," "Airport 1975" (which was actually released in 1974) made bank with $103 million worldwide box office on a $3 million budget. Linda plays Janice, the little girl who desperately needs an organ transplant or is certain to die. She befriends a singing nun (singer Helen Reddy) who serenades Janice with a guitar. 99% of movie viewers don't remember this because the parody versions of these characters in 1980's "Airplane!" overshadowed the genuine articles. But for as little as Linda Blair has to do in her own disaster movie (look pretty, tired and/or despondent) she left an impression, enough for the Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker comedy trio to single out her character in their spoof flick.
To say the cast of "Airport '75" is stacked is like saying June is a beloved month for F This Movie. Some old-timers (Sid Caesar, Jerry Stiller, Norman Fell, Gloria Swanson, etc.) mug a little too aggressively, but the actors playing their dramatic roles straight (Chuck Heston, Karen Black, George Kennedy, Efrem Zimbalist Jr., Susan Clark, etc.) don't embarrass themselves. The plot/production values feel a slight step above made-for-TV (widescreen cinematography, a real airplane filmed flying through mountains and crash-landing), and the make-believe tension is only matched by the now-gone appeal of the 747 plane being a technological/transportation marvel. As entertainingly inoffensive as 70's disaster movies get. 3.15 MIRNA LOY'S BOILERMAKER DRINKS (out of five).
Hold on, Linda Blair is in Airport '75? I totally forgot about this. I need to revisit it
DeleteYep, l was surprised too. "Airplane!" parody girl is way more remembered in the collective unconscious than Blair in "A'75."
Delete013 & 014.- EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (ORIGINAL THEATRICAL & HOME VIDEO VERSIONS, 1977, SHOUT! FACTORY BLU-RAY). Also streaming on TUBI.
ReplyDeleteIn a 2018 interview with Linda Blair included in this Shout! Factory Blu-ray set, she says she can't fathom anybody finding any fun watching "Exorcist II: The Heretic," but that she and her fellow actors gave it their best shot regardless. Linda says she gets it if people don't like the final product, but that she also gets it if some people find enjoyment here where others find none. I'm firmly in the camp that has learned to enjoy its silly moments (anytime anybody says 'Pazuzu!' with a straight face), appreciate the ambition behind its choices (filming African locations in impressively-designed indoor sets), and admire the best aspects (Richard Burton playing it straight, imaginative on-camera special effects, Ennio Morricone going for broke with a memorable score, etc.) of this John Boorman-helmed sequel to "The Exorcist." It's a deeply flawed picture at its core, particularly the lack of scary scenes or even atmospheric horror (there is none). If watched third behind the first "Exorcist" and 1990's "Exorcist III" (William Peter Blatty's true sequel to the events/characters left dangling at the conclusion of the '73 movie), "Exorcist II" stands a better chance of making a stronger first impression.
As has become my unofficial tradition, whenever "The Exorcist II" Shout! BD comes out both versions are watched back-to-back. The original 117 min. theatrical cut is allowed to breathe and feels nicely paced, leading to a bittersweet ending that gives all characters (even Kitty Winn's Sharon) a proper ending and the full version of Morricone's 'Regan's Theme' (so good! 😍🥰) during the closing credits. The home video cut (102 min.) chops key scenes here and there (no Regan learning to tap dance) and has an abrupt ending with a more acid rock version of the end song. Neither version makes Louise Fletcher look great, but both cuts highlight how good Richard Burton, Max Von Sydow and young Linda Blair hold their own against the troubled production surrounding them. 4 YOUNG DANA PLATO CAMEOS (out of five, THEATRICAL) & 3.25 BLOODY CAB DRIVERS PINNED UNDER STEERING WHEEL (out of five, HOME VIDEO).
I really enjoy saying "EVIL" over and over with Richard Burton gravitas!
Delete015.- SAVAGE ISLAND (1985, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on MGM+, FAWESOME.
ReplyDeleteI was duped! 🥵 Linda Blair gets near-top billing for appearing in this Ted Nicolaou flick about women being exploited as slave labor in an emerald mine in the South American jungle by cruel, ugly and r@pey foreign men. But Linda isn't in any of the footage from two Edoardo Mulargia movies (1980's "Escape From Hell" and "Hotel Paradise") cobbled together by Nicolaou. She's in the beginning and ending (about 5-7 min. total) shooting Penn Jillete's brains off (not a spoiler, happens near the start) and sharing the main movie's plot with crooked banker Luker (Leon Askin) via ADR VO. "Savage Island" is literally and figuratively a shit sandwich, with Linda Blair the bread holding together an unpleasant, not-that-entertaining, women-in-peril jungle meat treat. It's only day three and I've already failed spectacularly at my June job. 😢😭1.35 LAREDO'S UNREWARDED ACTS OF KINDNESS (out of five).
Years ago I started to watch Savage Island and ended up stopping it very quickly. It's terrible and usually sourced from a crappy VHS version.
DeleteThat's the version streaming on Prime: VHS soft, 4x3 and ugly as sin. 🥵😳
DeleteThe old Blair 'n' switch-- exploitation at its finest!
DeleteEven an old Junesploitation! pro like me fell for it. I have no soul! 🥺😭
DeleteBONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 3!
ReplyDelete016.- THE PINK PANTHER: THE PINK PHINK (12/18/64, DVD). Available to stream on YOUTUBE.
The very first theatrical cartoon starring The Pink Panther, "The Pink Phink" has the distinction of being the only "PP" media to have received an Academy Award (Best Animated Short). With Friz Freleng at the helm, William Lava rearranging the Henry Mancini-composed score to a more jazzy beat, and John Dunn penning the first of dozens of scripts, "Pink Phink" also introduces 'The Little Man' (though he looks rather tall in this debut) as the perennial antagonist to the Panther's "Tom and Jerry"-inspired antics. Simple premise: Little Man's a painter who wants to paint a house blue, the Pink Panther wants it painted pink. Hilarity ensues for a little over six minutes, which debuted on December of '64 in theaters before moving to endless reruns on TV and, of course, YouTube and streaming. 4 ROTATING LAWN SPRINKLERS PAINTING A BLUE ROOM PINK (out of five).
SAVAGE STREETS (1984) dir. Danny Steinmann
ReplyDeleteTough as flaming nails high schooler Linda Blair is avenging the savage defilement of her sweet and innocent, deaf-mute little sister played by Linnea Quigley. A sleazy and lurid portrait of 1980s Hollywood Blvd. haters and punk trash. Plus a supporting turn by a foul mouthed Dean Wormer.
The Golden Raspberry people can go fork themselves. This rips!
An exploitation classic for sure. One thing I will say is that It is a little hard to buy Blair and the cast as teenagers. And bear traps being sold in L.A. stores? I am thinking about it too much.
DeleteI really enjoy the soundtrack for Savage Streets. Very catchy and very '80s.
Caught this one as well. The slasher sequence in the warehouse was solid.
DeleteCHAINED HEAT (1983, dir. Paul Nicolas)
ReplyDeleteLinda Blair is the new prisoner trying to figure out a complicated environment in this sleazy slice of women-in-prison cinema. Around her is an excellent cast with John Vernon, Stella Stevens, Henry Silva, and a bunch of faces who would find a place in 1980s genre cinema. This hits most of the WIP tropes with a large dose of nudity, but it also does prison drama well. Blair and company give it their all, sometimes succeeding in covering up the exploitative nature of the story. Also, the quality of the filmmaking is high, adding a little class to the crassness.
This will probably be the longest watch in the making for this Junesploitation. The DVD has been in my collection for at least seven years and a candidate for a June watch most of that time.
Saw this in a theater last year-- a howling good time!
DeleteSCREAM (1996):
ReplyDeletePerfect movie. Glad they never made any sequels!
OMG, I forgot Linda cameos as a reporter in OG "Scream." 😮😓
DeleteExorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
ReplyDeleteCould absolutely see myself super into this another day...but today is not that day...
😳🥺😭
DeleteThe Blair B*tch Project (2000, dir. Scott LaRose)
ReplyDeleteGet it? Because her name is Blair and she's a... you get it. This is a 20-minute ZAZ-style parody of the Blair Witch Project with Linda playing the Heather part. If any of the below make you laugh check it out:
- Burkisttsville, MD has been renamed to Jerkittsville.
- Instead of arguing about a map, Heather, Josh and Mike argue over a globe (she brought a globe into the woods to navigate).
- At one point Linda Blair tells Josh to stop chucking rocks because his mother chucks rocks in hell.
- During the "I'm so scared" monologue: "I'm scared to close my eyes. I'm scared to open them. I'm scared to cross them" (crosses eyes)
- The end credits song is a parody song in the style of Sinatra's "Witchcraft"... You guessed it... "B*tchcraft".
I'm totally ashamed for laughing as much as I did.
The part about chucking rocks made me laugh. Guess I'll have to check this out.
DeleteSorceress a.k.a. Temptress (1995)
ReplyDeleteWynorski joint. Linda Blair is a lawyer's wife who uses dark magic to get her husband better situated in his firm. But she faces tough opposition from fellow sorceress Julie Strain - who is not afraid to use her full-bodied softcore witchcraft in her own little power games, even after she technically dies in the opening scene. I'm a sucker for tawdry witch stories where men are just clueless puppets in the hands of wicked ladies, so I was thoroughly entertained.
Hell Night (1981)
ReplyDeleteFour teens spend the night in a scary mansion. They have a good time, then a bad time. It's a serviceable slasher.
Calendar Girl, Cop, Killer? The Bambi Bembenek Story (1992)
ReplyDeleteIf you grew up in the early 90s, you remember the headlines. You couldn’t turn on the news or flip through a tabloid without a show about the Playboy Bunny cop who supposedly blew away her husband’s ex-wife and then made a break for it. It was the kind of tawdry, real-life soap opera that television networks couldn’t resist, so naturally, we got Calendar Girl, Cop, Killer? The Bambi Bembenek Story.
Let’s be honest: this isn’t high art. It’s a classic, ripped-from-the-headlines TV movie that feels like it was put together while the ink on the newspaper was still wet. It’s got that quintessential 90s made-for-TV feel, with lighting just a little too flat, pacing a bit rushed, and the moral ambiguity of the case sanded down to fit into a two-hour time slot.
Lindsay Frost plays Laurie “Bambi” Bembenek, and she does a decent job navigating the impossible tightrope of the role: is she a victim of a corrupt Milwaukee police force or is she the cold-blooded killer everyone in the courtroom thinks she is?
She’s surrounded by a roster of “Hey, it’s that guy!” character actors who make this a fun watch for any pop-culture junkie. Timothy Busfield (fresh off thirtysomething) plays the husband, Fred Schultz, while Linda Blair shows up as Jane Mader. We get the always-menacing Tobin Bell as Dan Cushman, the reliably grizzled Ed Lauter as Lieutenant Driscoll, and Peter Jurasik bringing some credibility to the ensemble. Even the smaller roles are peppered with familiar faces like the late Don S. Davis (General Hammond from Stargate SG-1) and character veteran John Karlen.
Behind the lens, the film was steered by veteran TV director Jerry London (Shogun, Rent-a-Cop). If you grew up watching network television in the 80s and 90s, you’ve seen London’s work. He was a master of the event miniseries and the ripped-from-the-headlines drama. For this script, writers Larry and Paul Barber took on the unenviable task of adapting John Greenya’s book, condensing a massive, messy, multi-year legal circus into a digestible two-hour narrative. They leaned into the tabloid beats, keeping the pacing brisk enough to avoid getting bogged down in the finer points of Wisconsin criminal law.
The film dives headfirst into the sensationalism of the case, exploring the bad marriage, the security job at Marquette, and the eventual prison break that turned her into a folk hero with the “Run, Bambi, Run” slogan.
What elevates this above your average bargain-bin drama is the sheer absurdity of the facts it’s trying to juggle. You have a woman who was a cop, a model, a convict and a fugitive, all in the span of a few years. The movie doesn’t have the budget to be a sprawling crime epic, so it leans into the character study angle, focusing on the media frenzy. It’s a fascinating, if messy, time capsule of a moment in American true crime history.
Is it a masterpiece? No. But like a lot of the best low-budget or TV-movie efforts, it has a weird, earnest energy. It’s convinced that its subject is the most important story in the world, and there’s something undeniably compelling about that.
Bail Out a.k.a. W.B., Blue and the Bean (1989, dir. Max Kleven)
ReplyDeleteA rich industrialist's daughter (Blair) is kidnapped by a drug cartel to stop her from testifying against them, so a bail bondsman tasks three bounty hunters, "White Bread" (David Hasselhoff), "Blue" (Tony Brubaker) and "Bean" (Thomas Rosales Jr.) with finding her.
This was pretty bland. The story's unremarkable, the direction's flat, the action's infrequent and forgettable, David Hasselhoff isn't as charismatic as he thinks he is, the other nounty hunters are relegated to sidekicks, and although Linda Blair gets a little into the action by the end, she spends most of her screen time as a damsel in distress. Charlie Brill is a highlight as the grouchy bail bondsman and would you believe it, George "Buck" Flower plays a homeless man.
I tried watching a cop comedy called Night Patrol first, but it was aggressively bad (opinion based solely on the first five minutes), so I switched to this. I guess I'm more forgiving of a bad thriller than a bad comedy.
This was my pick as well! A waste of Linda Blair and it was weird seeing Hasselhoff in something R-rated (for language mostly). Also I'm the world's only Night Patrol fan.
DeleteNight Patrol: ha! Murray Langston aka The Unknown Comics starring vehicle?! Havent seen that for decades.
DeleteTHE CHILLING (1989)
ReplyDeleteA cryogenics lab is the setting for a dark and murderous conspiracy, in this cautionary tale warning viewers about the dangers of cryogenics. Blair is one of the big ensemble, playing a lab tech caught up on it all. This is the best kind of exploitation trash in how sincere it is. The filmmakers think they’re making a Scorsese-level crime epic, only to pivot into full-on horror in act three, seemingly unaware how cheeseball this is. I wonder if this is another case of a movie starting out as one thing and then becoming another during production. The YouTube commenters argue that this was an intentional comedy all along, but I don’t know. If nothing else, everyone should check out the opening text crawl, which is a perfect snapshot of what this movie is.
30 days of fan films, day 3: HALLOWEEN NIGHT (2020)
The slashers are ubiquitous among fan films, probably because they’re the easiest to make. If you can afford the mask, a rubber knife, and some fake blood, then you’ve got yourself a movie! Case in point, here’s Michael Myers slicing n’ dicing his way through the suburbs on Oct. 31 again, with Dr. Loomis’ long-lost niece in his path. Despite the cheapness, I rather enjoyed this one. There are lots of little nods to Carpenter’s original and a likable final girl.
Savage Streets
ReplyDeleteNow that’s a Junesploitation movie! Linda Blair is a(n alarmingly baby-faced) bad girl whose innocent sister (Linnea Quigley) is raped and left for dead by a gang of leather-jacketed toughs, prompting Blair to grab Chekhov’s crossbow and hit the streets for revenge.
Blair’s tough-girl act is never quite convincing, but the movie has a strong sleazy streak to go along with its overwrought performances and predictable plotting. It’s directed by Danny Steinmann, who would go on the next year to give us the gift that is Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, to this day the skeeziest Friday. Bonus points to this one for John Vernon’s performance as the school principal who takes absolutely no shit, particularly for his delivery of the line “go fuck an iceberg.” Dude should have had a spinoff, it could have started something bigger than the Fast & Furious franchise.
Keep having my post deleted. Trying one more time.
ReplyDeleteWatched Fatal Blond (1991). Instead of saying anything about the movie, I will just say it is not very good.
Bond not Blond
DeleteSavage Streets (1984)
ReplyDeleteIll say this alot this month...i hope...but this is a great pick for junesploitation that checks many boxes. The premise is basic....a clique of high school girls vs a gang of bad dudes. At first its prank based but things turn very very dark quickly and we find ourselves in the genre of rape/revenge. Think Death Wish but with Blair in the lead role. Unsettling watch for sure but of the genre well done. My only critique is the revenge is sort of rushed in the final moments...BUT....it is depicted in a bit of a home-alone traps setting which is nice. Yet another of countless movies that i NEVER would have seen if it wasnt for the calendar day selection..
Hell Night (1981)
ReplyDeleteScreened at the Selwin on September 4th 1981 on a double bill with Legend of Wolf Woman
Should have been better... great setting (historic mansion w/ lots of candles), pretty solid premise, some good kills and an uneven but game cast (Blair is fine- kind of coasting, but still charming... the real standout to me was British actress Suki Goodwin, who didn't seem to do much after but has public Facebook profile now and regularly posts about Hell Night- love to see it). Unfortunately it has some real filler-itis. It's a far too long 101 minutes- which I didn't think I'd mind at first- I'm usually down for the more hangout vibe, and the "teenagers" had a fun enough rapport- but as more were dispatched, the between kills filler mostly just became one person walking down long dimly lit hallways.
Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977) dir. John Boorman
ReplyDeleteOH NO, NOT THE LOCUSTS, NOT THE LOCUSTS.
I'm sure there is a good movie in here somewhere, maybe I need to delve deep into the subconscious to find it.
Pazuzu, Kokumo, oh I wanna take you...
DeleteThis made me laugh out loud.
DeleteRED HEAT (1985, Robert Collector & Ernst R. von Theumer, Germany)
ReplyDeleteCHAINED HEAT, it ain’t. Dank, dark, and dreary Cold War WIP flick, not quite grimy or titillating enough to reach Jess Franco depths, not well-executed enough to rise to memorable-- or consistently entertaining-- status. Linda plays a Hitchcockian “wrong woman” who witnesses a commie kidnapping caper and is subsequently thrown into Sylvia Kristel’s sadistic cesspool of degrading depravity. There’s no hijinks or humor in this dour Deutschland effort, but Linda going berserk and attacking Kristel with a toilet brush was pretty entertaining. Oddly, the filmmakers roped in Tangerine Dream to provide the score, so there’s another plus. But the film’s biggest asset is probably the absence of Jim Belushi.
😅 Yes, Jim Belushi not being in a movie improves it tenfold. 😘
DeleteSarah T. -- Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic (1975)
ReplyDeleteSincere Made-For-TV movie directed by Richard (Superman) Donner and featuring the ultimate Junesploitation cast: Linda (Exorcist) Blair, Mark (Star Wars) Hamill, William (The Graduate) Daniels, Verna (Animal House) Bloom, Larry (Beware the Blob) Hagman, M. Emmet (Blade Runner) Walsh, Michael (Barton Fink) Lerner, and Laurette (Airport 1975) Spang. Blair sings the Carole King song "It's Too Late" drunk at a party. She's not too bad. I wonder what she sounds like sober? Remember, the first step is the most difficult; after that, there will be people to help you!"
Roller Boogie(1979 Dir Mark L Lester)
ReplyDeleteWhat do you get when you add Late 70s America's passion for Roller Skating and Disco, and combine it in the most Cannon movie ever made by someone not named Golan or Globus. Linda Blair is likable as the spoiled rich girl/genius/musical prodigy. She's also really good at pretending to skate, her double is spectacular. Paul Bray is really good at skating. Once the top amateur roller skater in the world, he gave up his amateur status after a ten-year reign to star in this movie. According to google this guy was everywhere with his skates in the late 70s/early 80s. Their characters meet, fall in love, stop the mobsters from stealing the skating rink and win the big contest then she goes off to Juilliard, and he goes off to skate in the Olympics. (fun fact skating was never an Olympic event but there was a team demo in the 90s.) Is it good? nope. Is it fun? kind of. is it worth watching? yeah.
Warning For some reason Paul Brays a very tall and lanky guys wardrobe in the movie is red and yellow. Not sure if intentional, but I spent a lot of time craving Mcdonalds
DeleteSavage Island (1985, dir. Ted Nicolaou)
ReplyDeleteI picked the wrong Linda Blair movie with "Savage" in the title. I chose this one because of the 79 minute runtime, but I'm pretty sure it's the longest movie I've ever watched. Is it too early to quit Junesploitation?
I chose poorly too (same wrong "Savage" LB flick). Don't give up, tomorrow's a different cattegory. 🙃🙂
DeleteChained Heat (1983)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely the sleaziest selection of the month so far. Linda Blair goes to a particularly gnarly, corrupt, gang-infested prison and struggles to fit in. I had a good time in spite of some tough-to-watch scenes, and I really liked where the movie went in the end.
Duchess rules.
I really got a kick out of "One more peep outta you, you'll all go to solitary!" Lady, then it won't be very solitary.
Roller Boogie (1979)
ReplyDeleteI only just turned it on so I don't have much to say, but I can already tell this isn't going to be a good movie, while also being one of the best decisions I could have made for today.
Grotesque (1988)
ReplyDeleteThese punkers do not accurately represent us.
Witchery (La Casa 4) (Fabrizio Laurenti, 1988)
ReplyDelete"Directed by Martin Newlin"
Sure, guys... sure.
He’ll Night (1981)
ReplyDeleteLiked the opening sequence with a sweet theme song. Other than Blair and Vincent Van Patten giving good performances, it was so-so.