Johnny Showtime: F This Movie Fest Treats and LIbations!

 by JB

It’s that time again.

F This Movie Fest is this Saturday and I could not be more excited. Not only do I have the six chosen films in hand (Three of them in 4K!) but this year we will be hosting what I’m dubbing F This Movie Fest West by welcoming LA Doug and Sonia Mansfield into our private viewing chamber.

What to serve?

Sitting out on our balcony last night, enjoying some homemade S’mores, that question plagued us. If Patrick was good enough to curate six boffo movies from the year 2000, we could surely dream up some themed treats. Or could we?

Charlie’s Angels

Brunch Delight: Angel Food Cake and Berries. There is only one rule of thumb for this delicious combo—more berries! Just when you think you have enough, add more berries! More berries! More berries! You know... Berry... More!

If you would rather pay tribute to the villains, make it Devil’s Food Cake. Add a hank of human hair for extra fun!

Pitch Black

Espresso Martini: This is the standard ratio for a perfectly balanced Espresso Martini.

INGREDIENTS

• 2 oz (60 ml) Vodka (such as Tito's or Grey Goose)

• 1 oz (30 ml) Coffee Liqueur (such as Kahlúa or Mr. Black)

• 1 oz (30 ml) Fresh Espresso (hot or cooled)

• ½ oz (15 ml) Simple Syrup (optional, add for more sweetness)

• Garnish: 3 coffee beans

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Prep: Brew a fresh shot of espresso.

2. Combine: Add ingredients to a cocktail shaker.

3. Ice: Fill the shaker with plenty of ice.

4. Shake: Seal the shaker and shake vigorously for 15–20 seconds, or until the shaker is frosty. This step is crucial to create the foam.

5. Strain: Double strain the mixture into a chilled martini glass.

6. Garnish: Three coffee beans. In the Italian tradition, these represent health, wealth, and happiness. In the Furyan tradition, these represent two eyes with eyeshine plus one coffee bean.

Bring It On

“Cheerios Your Team on to Victory” Treats: These are standard Rice Krispy treats, but you, dear reader, are going to be oh-so-clever and swap out the Rice Krispies for Cheerios! Divide the batch in two: color one half Toros red and the other half Clover green. Then “bring them on” to your guests and hear them cheer(ios)!

Gone in 60 Seconds

Junkyard Dogs: This derivation of the classic “Drunken Sailor” appetizer pays tribute to Robert Duvall’s dog, Otto (the one who eats the keys) and the "Memphis" barbecue feast Nicolas Cage and his crew enjoys at the end of the film. Original recipe courtesy of AllRecipes.com. We played with it a little.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 (12 ounce) bottle barbecue sauce

• 1 (14 ounce) bottle ketchup

• ½ cup brown sugar

• ½ cup whiskey

• 4 tablespoons Frank’s hot sauce (or less if you're more of a Kip.)

• 1 (16 ounce) package hot dogs, sliced into 1/2-inch pieces; or 1 (16 ounce) pack of little baby hot dogs.

• 1 box toothpicks

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Pour ketchup, barbecue sauce, and hot sauce into a slow cooker; stir in brown sugar and whiskey. Add hot dogs.

2. Cover slow cooker. Cook on low for 6 long hours. Serve with toothpicks.

3. So very addictive that they will be... gone in 60 seconds! This will be a bit of a disappointment, since they took 21,600 seconds to cook.

The Replacements

“Replacement Rumaki:” Legend has it that Donn Beach, aka Don the Beachcomer (Do you like tiki drinks? He invented more than half of them.) so hated to waste food at his eponymous Hollywood restaurant that he invented rumaki rather than throw chicken livers in the trash. Original rumaki consisted of marinated chicken livers wrapped in bacon. Seems most bar patrons will eat anything 1) if they are drunk enough on Mai Tais or 2) if that “anything” is wrapped in bacon.

I can still remember the first time I ever ate rumaki. It was at the bar at the late, lamented Wellington restaurant in Arlington Heights, Illinois. I didn’t know what it was. I had never eaten it or even heard of it before. The bacon was delicious—WHAT THE HELL IS INSIDE HERE?! Yuck.

You can fix this. Liver-averse snackers often use a water chestnut as a substitute for the awful offal. You are going to replace the liver with a water chestnut, the same way Gene Hackman replaces all the professional athletes with Keanu Reeves. Got it? Delicious! Here we have a fine recipe, courtesy of “The Wicked Noodle.”

INGREDIENTS
• Whole water chestnuts
• Bacon: Don't use thick-sliced bacon as it will take too long to crisp up.
• Ketchup: Any brand will work, so just use your favorite.
• Light brown sugar: The sugar will help the sauce to caramelize.
• Worcestershire sauce: All you need are a few dashes, but it adds a lot of flavor, so don't skip it!
• Sriracha or other hot sauce: Add more of this if you like a little spice.
• Toothpicks: These need to be soaked in water for 30-60 minutes before assembling.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Set your oven to 375°F, so it can preheat while you're getting everything ready.

2. Place a wire rack over a sheet pan and set it aside. The wire rack is important for the bacon to get crispy on all sides. You can also line the pan with parchment paper for easy cleanup.

3. Grab a small mixing bowl and add the ketchup, brown sugar, Worcestershire sauce and Sriracha. Mix it until it's completely combined, then set it aside.

4. Slice your bacon into thirds crosswise. Wrap one piece of bacon around a water chestnut and secure it with a toothpick. Place each wrapped water chestnut onto the wire rack, and repeat this until bacon and water chestnuts are gone.

5. Bake the rumaki until the bacon is starting to get crispy (around 30 minutes or so). Remove them from oven and, using a basting brush, dab the sauce all over each one.

6. Return them to oven and continue cooking them until bacon is crisp and sauce is sticky and thick, another 10-15 minutes.

7. Serve them immediately, although they'll still taste great at room temperature. Touchdown!

Gladiator

Bread and Circuses: To pay tribute to this film’s endless shots of Russell Crowe walking through the wheat, simply lay out a Bread and Circuses dip bar! Offer delicious Wheat Thins crackers, cheeses, hummus, salsa, olives, and garum (an ancient Roman fish sauce.) Delicious.

"See" you all on Bluesky this coming Saturday. Bring your own napkins.