'SLASHING THE 80'S SLASHER TEMPLATE' THREES0ME! 133.- SWEET SIXTEEN (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI.
You can tell early on (confirmed by the end) that the filmmakers behind "Sweet Sixteen" weren't used to making disposable horror pictures like the ones they were ripping off during the slasher boom of the 1980's. Camera work/lighting is too classy and professional, the cast of Hollywood veterans (Bo Hopkins, Susan Strasberg, Patrick Macnee) stand out too much from the B-movie veterans (Michael Pataki, Don Shanks, Larry Storch, "Friday the 13th Part III's" Dana Kimmell, etc.), and the pace/character focus is mostly on the grown-ups instead of the trying-to-get-laid youths that are usually the focus of an unknown killer's ire. That said Aleisa Shirley (who got an 'introducing' credit and an Italian-like theme song constantly reminding us of who she is! 🤔🫤) stands out as Mellissa, the new-in-a-small-Texas-town girl whom every boy that asks her out ends up murdered. Not only does she give us "Sweet Sixteen's" nudity quota, but her eyewitness testimony instigates r@cist blowback against the Native American characters by the town's a-hole rednecks (you rarely see a slasher confront racism head-on like Sheriff Burke does here). It's also fun to have the sheriff's teenage kids (particularly Kimmell's junior detective wannabe) be so involved. Botched final killer reveal notwithstanding, "SS" is a competent early 80's time capsule of the Gold Rush era of slasher-wannabes trying their best. 3.45 INDIAN BURIAL GROUND MAKE-OUT POINTS (out of five).
Once you've seen the unrated cut of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" (low-quality SD inserts of deleted footage notwithstanding) there's no going back to the theatrical version... except when Shout Factory makes a 4K remaster that only includes the 79 min. 'R' cut. 😡🤬Improved visual quality notwithstanding (those early 80's toys in the shelves at Ira's store and shag carpeting/wood panel walls at Linnea Quigley's home have never looked better), what stood out to me on this rewatch of "SN,DN" is how much of a heartfelt tragedy for the main protagonist's eventual descent into madness this would come across if better filmmakers had tackled the material. The 1971, 1974 and '10 Years Later' portions are like segments in a linked anthology, with each Billy (culminating in Robert Brian Wilson's grown-up version) the tragic victim of winding up victimized by either a drunk Santa hood (Charles Dierkop), an uncaring Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin, giving the best performance in the movie by far) or co-workers blind to Billy's Christmas Eve trauma. Alas, the potential for this premise hasn't even been reached by recent/newer remakes of "SN,DN." What chance did the '84 movie really have at greatness been helmed by the director of "Snowballers"? 😅😉3.75 SANTAS SUCKER-PUNCHED BY YOUNG BILLY'S HAYMAKER (out of five).
135.- SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY BLU-RAY). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, FAWESOME, PLUTO TV, PLEX, AMC+, ROKU CHANNEL.
Contrary to popular belief, the large portion of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" footage at the beginning of "Part 2" isn't a substitute for watching the 1984 version before tackling the sequel. Having just watched them back-to-back, "Part 2's" condensed version has no Will Hare as creepy catatonic grandpa (that alone makes a prequel rewatch mandatory), different music (much worse), a different naked couple for Billy to spy through the peephole (new chick's not as hot), and the violent/naughty bits (which were already 'R' safe) are cut even shorter. It does trim the fat, though, and makes for a nice summary of the main plot... but not a substitute, especially if you prefer the Unrated version like I do.
More importantly, the work-for-hire filmmakers of "Part 2" (establishing the pattern of different creative types going their own way with each subsequent "SN,DN" sequel) knew they had gold in Eric Freeman's performance. They constantly insert quick shots of Ricky's reactions to events he wasn't around to witness (like older bro Billy getting spanked by Mother Superior... or everything that happened at Ira's toy store or Billy's pre-orphanage killing spree). The faces Freeman makes during his interrogation by a reel-to-reel recording psychiatrist (James Newman) hint at the greatness to come when the second half of "Part 2" focuses on Billy's troubled upbringing. Going for comedy over pathos or true horror (even the younger actors playing Billy are in on the joke), the deaths are either inventive (umbrella through the body, running over would-be r@pist with his own car, battery current through exploding eyes, etc.) or simple in their practicality (strangled at a movie theater, gunned down, classic axe swing). And through it all is Eric Freeman, overacting up a storm and sacrificing a never-achievable acting career for the most glorious swinging-for-the-fences lead performance any low-budget 80's slasher could have ever asked for. 4.50 'GARBAGE DAY!' HOLLOW TRASH CANS (out of five).
136.- SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PEACOCK, PLUTO TV, PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI, FAWESOME.
Found out yesterday that later tonight (June 24th, 8:30pm ET) Jury Room 4.0's Discord watchalong movie of the week will be "Wet Hot American Summer." Every viewing of this in the past (two or three times) I've hated, but I'm willing to give it one more shot. So in preparation for "WHAS" I just rewatched Robert Hiltzik's opus to summer camp horror, which the former's heavily inspired by. "Sleepaway Camp" is the flick that brought me over to F This Movie in 2011 when I found out, through the old DVDVerdict.com home page, that there was a commentary track made for it. I had to listen to that, and I've been here ever since. 🙂The movie? Why, it's 5 PAIRS OF FELISSA ROSE'S EYES PENETRATING YOUR VERY SOUL (out of five). 😎👍
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 24! 137.- THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1983, DVD). Also streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO, ROKU TV, YOUTUBE.
I remember like it was yesterday my mother and her new boyfriend (much younger than her... go Mom! 😇) taking me to see this movie on opening night in an almost empty theater ('Uraya' was its name). I had a tape recorder, and I recorded about 10-12 minutes of audio from mostly the opening and closing credits. The Henry Mancini score for "Curse of the Pink Panther" is engraved in my memory from wearing down that cassette so much. I even remember liking the movie a lot despite the absence of Inspector Clouseau. Actually, Clouseau is in the movie... just played by body doubles and, at the very end, by "Turk Thrust II" (a giant-at-the-time movie star doing a cameo... look it up on IMDB) which blew my little 10-year-old mind. Even my seemingly desinterested mom and her boyfriend were like 'Hey, that's him!' 🥹😅
Alas, when rewatched by me as a 53-year-old, this 8th 'Pink Panther' movie is only a marginal improvement over the low point that "Trail of..." left the series at. Unknown to most people outside the Hollywood trade at the time, Blake Edwards made/shot both "Trail" and "Curse" movies simultaneously to keep costs down and have the same actors from one appear on the other. That's how we get Joanna Lumley, playing a French reporter in "Trail," appearing in "Curse" as an entirely new character (Countess Chandra). Big actors (David Niven, Capucine, Robert Wagner) and small ones in tiny roles (the American cab driver) return, mostly to continue the stolen diamond business from the prequel that was almost forgotten when Clouseau disappeared. NYPD Detective Clifton Sleigh (Ted Wass, TV's "Soap") is brought in from New York by an Interpol super-computer sabotaged by Dreyfus (Herbert Lom, better here than in "Trail") to find the worst possible detective to take on the Clouseau case. Edwards directs the hell out of the picture and has a few impressive set-pieces (the Valencia carnival parade of hitmen taking shots of Clifton, a car chase with a ticking bomb underneath Sleigh's cab, etc.) with some genuine laughs (umbrella open during a windy storm). Alas, Ted Wass is no Peter Sellers and "Turk Thrust II" is no Jacques Clouseau... but thanks for the old college try, guys. Leslie Ash almost steals the movie as a badass chick fighter fending off hitmen targeting Clifton Sleigh, like a proto-Paloma from that great action scene in 2021's "No Time To Die."
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 3.5 RUNAWAY QUARTERS TURNING INTO EYEGLASSES (out of five). The longest-running animated intro in the series (well over 5 minutes) despite having the fewest cast/crew names of any movie. The Panther goes to a 7-11 to pick a Pink Panther candy/ice cream, the first and only time an opening credit featured some sort of tie-in product. Though sparse, the 'inside the computer' portion of the intro has a very cool 'Tron' vibe.
MOVIE RATING: 2.75 LIFE-SAVING, EXPLODING INFLATABLE FEMALE DOLLS (out of five).
'SLASHING THE 80'S SLASHER TEMPLATE' THREES0ME!
ReplyDelete133.- SWEET SIXTEEN (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI.
You can tell early on (confirmed by the end) that the filmmakers behind "Sweet Sixteen" weren't used to making disposable horror pictures like the ones they were ripping off during the slasher boom of the 1980's. Camera work/lighting is too classy and professional, the cast of Hollywood veterans (Bo Hopkins, Susan Strasberg, Patrick Macnee) stand out too much from the B-movie veterans (Michael Pataki, Don Shanks, Larry Storch, "Friday the 13th Part III's" Dana Kimmell, etc.), and the pace/character focus is mostly on the grown-ups instead of the trying-to-get-laid youths that are usually the focus of an unknown killer's ire. That said Aleisa Shirley (who got an 'introducing' credit and an Italian-like theme song constantly reminding us of who she is! 🤔🫤) stands out as Mellissa, the new-in-a-small-Texas-town girl whom every boy that asks her out ends up murdered. Not only does she give us "Sweet Sixteen's" nudity quota, but her eyewitness testimony instigates r@cist blowback against the Native American characters by the town's a-hole rednecks (you rarely see a slasher confront racism head-on like Sheriff Burke does here). It's also fun to have the sheriff's teenage kids (particularly Kimmell's junior detective wannabe) be so involved. Botched final killer reveal notwithstanding, "SS" is a competent early 80's time capsule of the Gold Rush era of slasher-wannabes trying their best. 3.45 INDIAN BURIAL GROUND MAKE-OUT POINTS (out of five).
134.- SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT: THEATRICAL CUT (1984, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO TV, ROKU CHANNEL, PLEX, AMC+.
ReplyDeleteOnce you've seen the unrated cut of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" (low-quality SD inserts of deleted footage notwithstanding) there's no going back to the theatrical version... except when Shout Factory makes a 4K remaster that only includes the 79 min. 'R' cut. 😡🤬Improved visual quality notwithstanding (those early 80's toys in the shelves at Ira's store and shag carpeting/wood panel walls at Linnea Quigley's home have never looked better), what stood out to me on this rewatch of "SN,DN" is how much of a heartfelt tragedy for the main protagonist's eventual descent into madness this would come across if better filmmakers had tackled the material. The 1971, 1974 and '10 Years Later' portions are like segments in a linked anthology, with each Billy (culminating in Robert Brian Wilson's grown-up version) the tragic victim of winding up victimized by either a drunk Santa hood (Charles Dierkop), an uncaring Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin, giving the best performance in the movie by far) or co-workers blind to Billy's Christmas Eve trauma. Alas, the potential for this premise hasn't even been reached by recent/newer remakes of "SN,DN." What chance did the '84 movie really have at greatness been helmed by the director of "Snowballers"? 😅😉3.75 SANTAS SUCKER-PUNCHED BY YOUNG BILLY'S HAYMAKER (out of five).
135.- SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY BLU-RAY). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, FAWESOME, PLUTO TV, PLEX, AMC+, ROKU CHANNEL.
ReplyDeleteContrary to popular belief, the large portion of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" footage at the beginning of "Part 2" isn't a substitute for watching the 1984 version before tackling the sequel. Having just watched them back-to-back, "Part 2's" condensed version has no Will Hare as creepy catatonic grandpa (that alone makes a prequel rewatch mandatory), different music (much worse), a different naked couple for Billy to spy through the peephole (new chick's not as hot), and the violent/naughty bits (which were already 'R' safe) are cut even shorter. It does trim the fat, though, and makes for a nice summary of the main plot... but not a substitute, especially if you prefer the Unrated version like I do.
More importantly, the work-for-hire filmmakers of "Part 2" (establishing the pattern of different creative types going their own way with each subsequent "SN,DN" sequel) knew they had gold in Eric Freeman's performance. They constantly insert quick shots of Ricky's reactions to events he wasn't around to witness (like older bro Billy getting spanked by Mother Superior... or everything that happened at Ira's toy store or Billy's pre-orphanage killing spree). The faces Freeman makes during his interrogation by a reel-to-reel recording psychiatrist (James Newman) hint at the greatness to come when the second half of "Part 2" focuses on Billy's troubled upbringing. Going for comedy over pathos or true horror (even the younger actors playing Billy are in on the joke), the deaths are either inventive (umbrella through the body, running over would-be r@pist with his own car, battery current through exploding eyes, etc.) or simple in their practicality (strangled at a movie theater, gunned down, classic axe swing). And through it all is Eric Freeman, overacting up a storm and sacrificing a never-achievable acting career for the most glorious swinging-for-the-fences lead performance any low-budget 80's slasher could have ever asked for. 4.50 'GARBAGE DAY!' HOLLOW TRASH CANS (out of five).
136.- SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PEACOCK, PLUTO TV, PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI, FAWESOME.
ReplyDeleteFound out yesterday that later tonight (June 24th, 8:30pm ET) Jury Room 4.0's Discord watchalong movie of the week will be "Wet Hot American Summer." Every viewing of this in the past (two or three times) I've hated, but I'm willing to give it one more shot. So in preparation for "WHAS" I just rewatched Robert Hiltzik's opus to summer camp horror, which the former's heavily inspired by. "Sleepaway Camp" is the flick that brought me over to F This Movie in 2011 when I found out, through the old DVDVerdict.com home page, that there was a commentary track made for it. I had to listen to that, and I've been here ever since. 🙂The movie? Why, it's 5 PAIRS OF FELISSA ROSE'S EYES PENETRATING YOUR VERY SOUL (out of five). 😎👍
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 24!
ReplyDelete137.- THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1983, DVD). Also streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO, ROKU TV, YOUTUBE.
I remember like it was yesterday my mother and her new boyfriend (much younger than her... go Mom! 😇) taking me to see this movie on opening night in an almost empty theater ('Uraya' was its name). I had a tape recorder, and I recorded about 10-12 minutes of audio from mostly the opening and closing credits. The Henry Mancini score for "Curse of the Pink Panther" is engraved in my memory from wearing down that cassette so much. I even remember liking the movie a lot despite the absence of Inspector Clouseau. Actually, Clouseau is in the movie... just played by body doubles and, at the very end, by "Turk Thrust II" (a giant-at-the-time movie star doing a cameo... look it up on IMDB) which blew my little 10-year-old mind. Even my seemingly desinterested mom and her boyfriend were like 'Hey, that's him!' 🥹😅
Alas, when rewatched by me as a 53-year-old, this 8th 'Pink Panther' movie is only a marginal improvement over the low point that "Trail of..." left the series at. Unknown to most people outside the Hollywood trade at the time, Blake Edwards made/shot both "Trail" and "Curse" movies simultaneously to keep costs down and have the same actors from one appear on the other. That's how we get Joanna Lumley, playing a French reporter in "Trail," appearing in "Curse" as an entirely new character (Countess Chandra). Big actors (David Niven, Capucine, Robert Wagner) and small ones in tiny roles (the American cab driver) return, mostly to continue the stolen diamond business from the prequel that was almost forgotten when Clouseau disappeared. NYPD Detective Clifton Sleigh (Ted Wass, TV's "Soap") is brought in from New York by an Interpol super-computer sabotaged by Dreyfus (Herbert Lom, better here than in "Trail") to find the worst possible detective to take on the Clouseau case. Edwards directs the hell out of the picture and has a few impressive set-pieces (the Valencia carnival parade of hitmen taking shots of Clifton, a car chase with a ticking bomb underneath Sleigh's cab, etc.) with some genuine laughs (umbrella open during a windy storm). Alas, Ted Wass is no Peter Sellers and "Turk Thrust II" is no Jacques Clouseau... but thanks for the old college try, guys. Leslie Ash almost steals the movie as a badass chick fighter fending off hitmen targeting Clifton Sleigh, like a proto-Paloma from that great action scene in 2021's "No Time To Die."
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 3.5 RUNAWAY QUARTERS TURNING INTO EYEGLASSES (out of five). The longest-running animated intro in the series (well over 5 minutes) despite having the fewest cast/crew names of any movie. The Panther goes to a 7-11 to pick a Pink Panther candy/ice cream, the first and only time an opening credit featured some sort of tie-in product. Though sparse, the 'inside the computer' portion of the intro has a very cool 'Tron' vibe.
MOVIE RATING: 2.75 LIFE-SAVING, EXPLODING INFLATABLE FEMALE DOLLS (out of five).