'LA COPPIA PIÙ DILIGENTE DEL MONDO DELLO SPETTACOLO ITALIANO' TRIPLE-DECKER! 104.- STREET LAW (ITALY, 1974, BLUE UNDERGROUND DVD). Also streaming on TUBI, PLUTO TV.
Chemical engineer Carlo Antonelli (playing-against-type Franco Nero) is kidnapped/humiliated by armed thugs pulling a violent robbery at the post office he was in. Despite pleas from his girlfriend ("The Spy Who Loved Me's" Barbara Bach) and the police to move on, Carlo's background in the Italian Resistance during World War II and his wounded sense of pride push him to pursue his assailants. Carlo eventually befriends a low-level criminal (Giancarlo Prete's Tommy) who takes pity on him, with the two planning how to let the bad guys incriminate themselves to be arrested. This isn't "Death Wish" or a typical 'poliziotteschi' where Franco kicks ass and shoots the bad guys to cathartic audience approval. Director Enzo G. Castellari ("The Inglorious Bastards") makes it a point to show Nero's nervous/terrified face in slow motion as cars run him over (lthat's the picture above! 🧐) or bullets zoom by his head. Carlo symbolizes the average Italian citizen in the 1970's frustrated with crime and ineffective police, and the impotence/loss of control that'd result if they actually tried to take the law into their own hands. The bad guys chasing after Carlo are sadistic monsters, yet no emotional release comes from their eventual demise since we witness the price (physical, emotional and personal) ultimately paid by our "hero." 4 GREEN MUSTANGS COVERED IN SLOMO DIRT (out of five).
105.- THE LEGEND OF VALENTINO: A ROMANTIC FICTION (1975, AMAZON PRIME)
An Aaron Spelling-produced, ABC made-for-TV movie about the life of silent era movie star Rudolph Valentino (a mustache-less Franco Nero), from would-be immigrant thief at the home of screenwriter June Mathis (Suzanne Pleshette, who also narrates) to movie sex symbol. As the subtitle 'A Romantic Fiction' indicates, writer/director Melville Shavelson has no trouble making melodramatic shit up to shoehorn typical showbiz backstabbing tropes between studio heads (Judd Hirsch versus Milton Berle), starlets (Lesley Ann Warren versus Yvette Mimieux) and opportunists trying to ride the coattails of Valentino's fame. Nero shows off his sexy accent, blue eyes and physical presence (in re-enactments of Valentino's best-known pics as well as 'real life' arguments with girlfriends, allies and groupies throwing themselves at him). Pleshette and Hirsch have great chemistry together, and Milton Berle steals the few scenes he's in. 'It's fine,' but feels like watered-down-for-network-TV "Great Gatsby's" sloppy seconds. 3.20 MONKEYS IN JUNE MATHIS' KITCHEN TABLE (out of five).
Or the one where Franco Nero plays an uncredited blonde, blue-eyed 'Jesus Christ'-like figure, protector of small bald children in some parallel universe where he teaches them about the eternal battle between intergalactic good ('Yahweh') and defeated-but-Earth-bound, psychic energy-powered evil ('Zatteen') waiting for a chance to re-emerge from the handful of human progeny it spawned with Earthly women decades before its death. It's up to enigmatic Jerzy Colsowicz (John Huston) and his crew to track down 8-year-old Atlanta resident Katy Collins (Paige Conner) to... you'll have to wait until the very end to find out if Jerzy is Obi Wan Kenobi-type savior or Darth Maul-like harbinger of doom. What's certain is that Katy is manifesting supernatural powers that put in danger friends (her poor mother Barbara, aka Joanne Nail) and foes alike (Lance Henriksen's would-be stepfather from hell), with civilians (Glenn Ford's detective, Shelley Winters' servant, bully ice skaters, a motorcyclist plastered against a car windshield, etc.) caught in the middle of her youthful rampage. All that plus a too-drunk-to-remember-his-lines Sam Peckinpah, whose initially beefy role as Barbara's ex had to be cut back significantly.😤🤪
When you think 'batshit crazy Italian exploitation at its most entertaining best,' "The Visitor" (and its amazing, often-repeated Franco Micalizzi musical theme) has to be near the top of the list. I can tell you about it 'till I'm blue in the face, but you have to see/experience it for yourself to appreciate the miracle that is this masterpiece existing in a pristine Arrow 4K UHD disc. Some days I wish I wasn't an Atheist so I could thank God for being alive and capable of appreciating genre cinema of this caliber. 😎🤠 5 JOHN HUSTON FUNNY FACES AS STARS DANCE/ALIGN ABOVE HIS HEAD (out of five).
I had the chance to see The Visitor at a film festival in Pittsburgh in the early 2010s. It is an experience that I have not forgotten. The skating rink sequence remains one of the most ridiculous scenes I can remember watching.
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 18! 107.- THE REVENGE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1978, KINO LORBER 4K UHD). Also streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO, ROKU TV, YOUTUBE.
The final 'Pink Panther' movie starring Peter Sellers, who again was in frail health after another heart attack the year before and still hated working with Blake Edwards. Money is stronger than hate, though, as this turned out to be the 2nd most financially successful entry in the series (and almost doubled what "The Pink Panther Strikes Again" made at the box office two years prior). Chief Inspector Clouseau is targeted for assassination by French businessman Philippe Douvier (Robert Webber), secret boss of the French Connection criminal organization, to demonstrate to New York mobsters that he's got the muscle to go through with a lucrative drug deal. A convoluted set of circumstances (including the inspector running into a transvestite robber stealing his car and clothes) results in the apparent death of Clouseau by Douvier's men. Pretending to be dead so his enemies don't see him coming, Clouseau and manservant Cato (Burt Kwouk, who gets to play sidekick and work on the field with his boss) team-up with Douvier's secretary Simone (Dyan Cannon), who is upset at her former boss/lover for dumping her, to intercept the drug deal in Hong Kong and catch the French and New York mobsters 'infraganti.' Oh, and despite holding the world hostage before, Charles Dreyfus (Herbert Lom) is back as Sûreté Chief Inspector... if the sight of Clouseau alive and well doesn't crack him up first. 😅🥰
From the disco beat added to the 'PP' opening theme song to the many forced accidents/crashing vehicle gags (many not involving Clouseau or Dreyfus) culminating in a fireworks factory free-for-all in the docks of Hong Kong, this is the first Sellers/Edwards entry in the series that feels perfunctory and going through the motions. Graham Stark's Professor Balls giving Clouseau a variety of disguises (including a 'Godfather' fat suit) is an unfunny recurring gag; the Swedish sailor with an inflatable parrot foggy dock scene seems to go on forever.🙄🥱 It's nice for a change of pace to have Dyan Cannon playing an active female protagonist who isn't a damsel in distress or sexy dame, with Burt Kwouk's blinded-by-prescription-glasses Cato complementing the dysfunctional trio. It's a shame Herbert Lom (so good in "... Strikes Again") is underused as a reactor instead of chaos instigator. Robert Webber's Douvier is such a generic crime boss his henchmen (Robert Loggia and Paul Stewart) outshine him the few times they share scenes. Still worth seeing (really fun/silly moments creep up semi-frequently), but by far the weakest of the 70's 'Pink Panther' revival era (ERA!) trilogy.
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 3.5 GIANT TYPEWRITERS (out of five). A visible downgrade from its '75 and '76 predecessors, with Marvel Animation replacing Richard Williams Studio. Slightly-above TV quality cartoon gags (letters turning into barking dogs, bombs melting paintings, etc.) complement the disco beat given to Henry Mancini's theme song. 'It's fine-ish'.
MOVIE RATING: 3.35 MALFUNCTIONING SILVER HORNET SUPERCARS (out of five).
A QUIET PLACE IN THE COUNTRY (1968, dir. Elio Petri)
A crowd-pleasing piece of cinema this is not. Actor of the day Franco Nero is in serious mode as a painter becoming more and more convinced that the ghost of a young woman is haunting the Italian villa he just purchased. He is also in an increasingly strained relationship with his girlfriend (Vanessa Redgrave) and struggling with a major artistic block. This is one of those "is it real" kind of movies, with dreams and nightmares mingling with everyday life. With this being on my watchlist for many years, I had the patience today to settle in to an arthouse experience.
The editing and the score by Ennio Morricone is very avant-garde at certain moments during the film.
Trivia Time: What do you think of when i list Richard Kiel, Barbara Bach, Guy Hammilton, and Robert Shaw?
Is it James Bond? Me to! Now lets throw in Franco Nero, Carl Weathers, and Harrison Ford.......
Force 10 From Navarone (1978)
Been meaning to watch this "sequel" to Guns of Navarone for a long time. I knew it was critically drubbed and its connection to the original flick is shoehorned at best. Its genre is the classic: "Small group of smart @ss soldiers on an impossible WW2 mission". And considering part of that mission is to blow up a bridge it could be better called "Force 10 From Navarone meets Bridge Over The River Kwai 2 Electric Boomaloo". I actually had alot of fun with it!! Its too long and a bit all over the place but i liked all of the lead actors and enjoy the impossible mission theme bunches. I suppose if you discount the expectations of the classics its living in the shadow of, you might enjoy.
I saw 2 and 4 almost back-to-back not too long ago, and though 2 is still very entertaining l think was underrated and a ton of fun... even saddled with a PG-13. 🤔🤐
(honestly ive completely written off 4 and 5 and just flipped em for the hell of it. The divide in level of quality between 1/2/3 and 4/5, to me, is d@mn near the same as Caddyshack to Caddyshack 2. )
Don't get me wrong, it is all relative. I still think 2 is a cool action movie. I just think there are so many annoying/grating characters it's kind of an unpleasant watch for me. And I also think 5 is pretty rad (the opening car chase? C'mon!) but I also understand almost no one else shares that opinion.
There's no Fulci or Westerns day on this year's calendar, so I'm killing three birds with one stone here.
Franco Nero is a gold prospector who's minding his own business, but when he receives a letter urging him back to his home town, he has no choice but to saddle up. As it turns out, the whole town, including his family farm, has been taken over by a rich dude and his sadistic son who's a whiz with a whip. But before Nero can do anything about it, he must reconnect with his estranged drunkard brother. The movie's style seems to consciously copy Leone (down to the Morricone-like music and Nero's outfit which is exactly what Eastwood wore), but Fulci makes sure it's also way more violent, with people getting gunned down left and right. I particularly liked the old Chinese guy serving as comic relief. Fun, bloody times in the west.
I've heard varying opinions on this one. I appreciate the positive review here, as I've wanted to watch it, and I find your opinions frequently similar to mine. Thanks!
I watched it this one too for the same reasons and I really enjoyed it. Fulci really brings the horror-esque violence. The bullwhip fight was downright oppressive. And George Hilton almost steals the show as the drunk brother.
I wanted to go with one of Franco Nero's obscure films, and this one certainly feels lost to time. In so many ways the 1972 film The Mechanic does a hitman methodology story better, but that does not mean The Hired Killer is completely a waste of time. I think the opening scenes in New York are handled well, creating a sense of tension. It is during the European section (the longer part) of the narrative that the film really drags. American actor Robert Webber is the titular killer, with Franco Nero tagging along on an assignment to kill an American gangster who has gone to Paris. Though no actor in the film really gets a chance to shine, Nero's role just requires him to be present. It is not among his most dynamic roles. This film coming very early in his career, he is dubbed in English by someone else.
THE FIFTH CORD (1971) Nero plays a rebellious journalist caught up in a series of murders. They’re going for a real noir here, with every character being dark and emotionally tortured in some way. Nero doesn’t do much other than serve intense looks at the camera, but he does that well. The visuals are the best thing about the movie, with elaborate sets and every shot looking all slick and stylish. On the other hand, the drama leans too far into melodrama, and the scenery gets well and truly chewed. This was well made, I suppose, just not for me.
30 days of fan films, day 18: THE VERSE (2014) Like a lot of Firefly fan films, this one is about a similar ship and similar crew set in the same universe. The filmmakers somehow got corporate funding from Loot Crate (!), so the whole thing looks very polished and professional. But it’s also short, not giving us enough time to get to know these new characters, no matter how familiar they feel. Like the series it’s based on, it leaves you wanting more.
I tried watching The Fifth Cord years ago but could not get through it. It is a dull story. The cinematographer, Vittorio Storaro, would go on to win three Oscars for films like Apocalypse Now and The Last Emperor.
Agreed the photography is a high point. But also I do give Nero credit here as playing an alcoholic really well—terrible judgement and zero thought given to consequences.
Redneck (1973): When you pair the steely gaze of Franco Nero with the unhinged, lip-smacking energy of Telly Savalas, you expect a certain level of Euro-crime carnage. Redneck, known in its native Italy as Senza ragione, delivers that in spades, though it’s a strange, disjointed beast that feels like two different movies glued together by a madman who loves
Why is Telly — a Greek American born in Long Island — playing an American Southerner who speaks jive? Who thought having a teenage boy watch a naked Franco Nero and then examining his own naked body was a good idea? How many taboos is this movie ready to shoot in the face?
Maybe it was director Silvio Narizzano, who was born in Quebec and started his career in Toronto-based television before directing movies like Die! Die! My Darling!, Georgy Girl and the insane Carroll Baker and Denis Hopper-starring Bloodbath. Or perhaps it was writers Win Wells, who was also behind The Greek Tycoon, and Masolino D’Amico, a writer on Olivia Hussey’s Romeo and Juliet, as well as Caligula and the Cannon version of Otello.
Anyways, Lester’s father Michael, must have made some contacts in Italy, as he would go on to write and produce Antonio Margheriti’s Codename: Wild Geese.
A married couple who seem to hate each other (Nero and Moonraker's Corinne Cléry) are driving across California (and definitely not Italy) when they pick up a hitch-hiker (David Hess), who turns out to be an escaped mental patient and bank robber. He takes the couple hostage and forces them to drive him to Mexico (which, I'll remind you, is right across the border, because they're definitely in California, not Italy).
The plot throws a couple of real curveballs, and the ending is pretty great. California looks suspiciously like Italy. Nero and Cléry are both excellent, but Hess steals the show as a psychopath. Ennio Morricone's score fits the story well, that one cheery ballad by someone called I Gladrags doesn't.
Well, that’s a bummer. For the first 10-15 minutes I thought I might have found a hidden gem as Franco Nero lends his steely gaze to a man investigating the murder of an Italian General, but unfortunately the mystery drags itself very slowly toward an underwhelming conclusion.
There’s a terrific supporting cast here including Martin Balsam with an extremely dubious accent, Eli Wallach, Christopher Lee, Sybil Danning, Anthony Quinn, Cleavon Little, Anita Strindberg, and Paul L. Smith, but they’re all left treading water by the dull screenplay (written by Rod Serling (!) though it wasn’t filmed until 6 years after his death). This was one of those mid-tier movies in constant HBO rotation in the early 80s, and I saw one minute of it when I was 7 or 8 that showed a hand with the fingernails removed and that gave me nightmares for quite some time. I may have new nightmares generated from Nero fighting Paul L. Smith while wearing only a jock strap, but that’s for me and my therapist to worry about.
I watched a ton of Spaghetti Westerns this year, including most of Franco Nero’s most heralded efforts (someone please watch Sergio Carbucci’s COMPANEROS, it’s excellent), but this one remained on my list. Late-stage Spaghetti, operatic and existential, lots of sweeping shots of the sensational scenery of Lago di Camposecco in central Italy. A gorgeous film, with strong performances by Nero, William Berger, and Woody Strode, with rousing action, particularly the lengthy shootout scene near the end. Marred only by the folk-singing Greek chorus of Italian Nico and Leonard Cohen knockoffs, warbling the inner narrative of our characters; frankly, silence would have said a lot more. It’s not in my upper echelon of Spaghettis, but definitely well worth a watch if you dig this genre.
My pick for today was also Keoma (1976). I agree with pretty much everything Zillagord wrote above (Italian Nico and Leonard Cohen cracked me up), so I'll just ramble some random added thoughts.
Nero's Keoma is pitted against his three half-brothers. The movie uses flashbacks to when they were kids, and they give the kids the exact same haircuts as the adult versions to identify them. The brothers are Curly Hair (Donald Sutherland's evil twin), Straight Hair, and Blonde Hair. Adult Keoma has a long lion's mane of a hair and a full beard. Kid Keoma has the same hair, but I thought it would've been funny if they just gave him the beard, too.
The singing parts of the score are truly dreadful. The voices (male and female alike) are grating and the lyrics give embarrassingly on-the-nose narration of the action ("He's with his faaaather, and she's going with themmmmm").
The movie hits a bunch of classic Western tropes, but with a dreamy, gritty new wave feel. Just vibes-wise, it reminded me a lot of the post-Leone Clint Westerns... just not as good as those.
Woody Strode going ham with his bow and arrow RULES!
Reed: I liked the way the flashbacks were presented, with Keoma actually in the frame witnessing the himself and the other characters from the past. A really good film, coulda been great without the (as you said) grating. Have you seen CEMETARY WTHOUT CROSSES (1969)? It has similar vibes.
I agree it was cool the way they placed present-time Keoma IN the flashback scenes. The one where they show his younger dad in a flashback, cut away, cut back and his dad is suddenly older dad... for a while I wasn't sure if it was really happening (it was), or if Keoma was just imagining the aged dad... but all in a cool way.
I have not seen Cemetery without Crosses, but it's going on my list!
TLDR: the men are awful, and eesh... gotta feel for the wife.
Maybe the sleaziest I've seen Nero (though I'm still pretty new to him) and he plays it well. This could easily have been a ho-hum hostage story, but enough novel plot points kept things flowing well—and of course it's X percent cooler in Italian. All 3 main characters give pretty good performances, with David Hess evoking the strongest reaction in me.
But ughh why is that dumb hippie song played so many times!! It should have stayed at the campground... maybe thrown in the fire.
But on the other hand, I love some of the musical scores they have! Deep Red (Profondo Rosso) and Eyeball (Gatti Rossi in un Laberinto di Vetro) come to mind right away.
I know it's not a deep cut, but I had never seen before.
Wow. I was in after the first few minutes. I thought the direction was outstanding. Then the reveal of what's in the coffin. I really appreciated all the mud.
Not sure this was meant to be viewed in HD. You can really see all of the stage makeup. I might not be quite as high on it as some, I think it slogs a little bit around 2/3 of the way through. But I was really impressed.
He seemingly has infinite bullets for that machine gun, which is ridiculous, but kind of fun. The whole movie is pretty ridiculous, the end in particular, but it does give us that incredible last shot of the hun dripping with blood!
I enjoyed it, but its not going to be in my favorite westerns.
The Falcon aka Banović Strahinja (1981 Dir Vatroslav Mimica)
A retelling of the Searchers. Instead of a former Calvary Man looking for his niece, we have a Serbian Knight searching for his kidnapped wife. Taken by a band of Turkish deserters when the knight is on a quest. When the Turks attack their leader is instantly smitten with our hero's wife and kidnaps her after slaughtering most of the village. Our Hero then decides to go find his wife but is reminded that when he finds her he must blind her due to her adultery with the other man. All the while the Turkish marauder is using that fact to try and force the wife to give up her virtue. Will the hero find his wife? Will the wife give in to the Turk? Will he kill her when he does find the wife or will he just blind her, or most outlandish of them all, does he have it in himself to forgive her?
Confessions of a Police Captain (1971, dir. Damiano Damiani)
A Franco Nero and Martin Balsam show that is a battle of wits, but also doesn't let you in on the whole story from the start. I did like that aspect and the side characters were used quite well to keep stringing you along.
I will probably need to revisit, but right now I'd say it's pretty satisfying and it ended nicely. PS: One funny moment when Nero/Balsam mistake each others cars really made me smile.
'LA COPPIA PIÙ DILIGENTE DEL MONDO DELLO SPETTACOLO ITALIANO' TRIPLE-DECKER!
ReplyDelete104.- STREET LAW (ITALY, 1974, BLUE UNDERGROUND DVD). Also streaming on TUBI, PLUTO TV.
Chemical engineer Carlo Antonelli (playing-against-type Franco Nero) is kidnapped/humiliated by armed thugs pulling a violent robbery at the post office he was in. Despite pleas from his girlfriend ("The Spy Who Loved Me's" Barbara Bach) and the police to move on, Carlo's background in the Italian Resistance during World War II and his wounded sense of pride push him to pursue his assailants. Carlo eventually befriends a low-level criminal (Giancarlo Prete's Tommy) who takes pity on him, with the two planning how to let the bad guys incriminate themselves to be arrested. This isn't "Death Wish" or a typical 'poliziotteschi' where Franco kicks ass and shoots the bad guys to cathartic audience approval. Director Enzo G. Castellari ("The Inglorious Bastards") makes it a point to show Nero's nervous/terrified face in slow motion as cars run him over (lthat's the picture above! 🧐) or bullets zoom by his head. Carlo symbolizes the average Italian citizen in the 1970's frustrated with crime and ineffective police, and the impotence/loss of control that'd result if they actually tried to take the law into their own hands. The bad guys chasing after Carlo are sadistic monsters, yet no emotional release comes from their eventual demise since we witness the price (physical, emotional and personal) ultimately paid by our "hero." 4 GREEN MUSTANGS COVERED IN SLOMO DIRT (out of five).
105.- THE LEGEND OF VALENTINO: A ROMANTIC FICTION (1975, AMAZON PRIME)
ReplyDeleteAn Aaron Spelling-produced, ABC made-for-TV movie about the life of silent era movie star Rudolph Valentino (a mustache-less Franco Nero), from would-be immigrant thief at the home of screenwriter June Mathis (Suzanne Pleshette, who also narrates) to movie sex symbol. As the subtitle 'A Romantic Fiction' indicates, writer/director Melville Shavelson has no trouble making melodramatic shit up to shoehorn typical showbiz backstabbing tropes between studio heads (Judd Hirsch versus Milton Berle), starlets (Lesley Ann Warren versus Yvette Mimieux) and opportunists trying to ride the coattails of Valentino's fame. Nero shows off his sexy accent, blue eyes and physical presence (in re-enactments of Valentino's best-known pics as well as 'real life' arguments with girlfriends, allies and groupies throwing themselves at him). Pleshette and Hirsch have great chemistry together, and Milton Berle steals the few scenes he's in. 'It's fine,' but feels like watered-down-for-network-TV "Great Gatsby's" sloppy seconds. 3.20 MONKEYS IN JUNE MATHIS' KITCHEN TABLE (out of five).
106.- THE VISITOR (ITALY/USA, 1979, ARROW 4K UHD)
ReplyDeleteOr the one where Franco Nero plays an uncredited blonde, blue-eyed 'Jesus Christ'-like figure, protector of small bald children in some parallel universe where he teaches them about the eternal battle between intergalactic good ('Yahweh') and defeated-but-Earth-bound, psychic energy-powered evil ('Zatteen') waiting for a chance to re-emerge from the handful of human progeny it spawned with Earthly women decades before its death. It's up to enigmatic Jerzy Colsowicz (John Huston) and his crew to track down 8-year-old Atlanta resident Katy Collins (Paige Conner) to... you'll have to wait until the very end to find out if Jerzy is Obi Wan Kenobi-type savior or Darth Maul-like harbinger of doom. What's certain is that Katy is manifesting supernatural powers that put in danger friends (her poor mother Barbara, aka Joanne Nail) and foes alike (Lance Henriksen's would-be stepfather from hell), with civilians (Glenn Ford's detective, Shelley Winters' servant, bully ice skaters, a motorcyclist plastered against a car windshield, etc.) caught in the middle of her youthful rampage. All that plus a too-drunk-to-remember-his-lines Sam Peckinpah, whose initially beefy role as Barbara's ex had to be cut back significantly.😤🤪
When you think 'batshit crazy Italian exploitation at its most entertaining best,' "The Visitor" (and its amazing, often-repeated Franco Micalizzi musical theme) has to be near the top of the list. I can tell you about it 'till I'm blue in the face, but you have to see/experience it for yourself to appreciate the miracle that is this masterpiece existing in a pristine Arrow 4K UHD disc. Some days I wish I wasn't an Atheist so I could thank God for being alive and capable of appreciating genre cinema of this caliber. 😎🤠 5 JOHN HUSTON FUNNY FACES AS STARS DANCE/ALIGN ABOVE HIS HEAD (out of five).
I had the chance to see The Visitor at a film festival in Pittsburgh in the early 2010s. It is an experience that I have not forgotten. The skating rink sequence remains one of the most ridiculous scenes I can remember watching.
DeleteBONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 18!
ReplyDelete107.- THE REVENGE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1978, KINO LORBER 4K UHD). Also streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO, ROKU TV, YOUTUBE.
The final 'Pink Panther' movie starring Peter Sellers, who again was in frail health after another heart attack the year before and still hated working with Blake Edwards. Money is stronger than hate, though, as this turned out to be the 2nd most financially successful entry in the series (and almost doubled what "The Pink Panther Strikes Again" made at the box office two years prior). Chief Inspector Clouseau is targeted for assassination by French businessman Philippe Douvier (Robert Webber), secret boss of the French Connection criminal organization, to demonstrate to New York mobsters that he's got the muscle to go through with a lucrative drug deal. A convoluted set of circumstances (including the inspector running into a transvestite robber stealing his car and clothes) results in the apparent death of Clouseau by Douvier's men. Pretending to be dead so his enemies don't see him coming, Clouseau and manservant Cato (Burt Kwouk, who gets to play sidekick and work on the field with his boss) team-up with Douvier's secretary Simone (Dyan Cannon), who is upset at her former boss/lover for dumping her, to intercept the drug deal in Hong Kong and catch the French and New York mobsters 'infraganti.' Oh, and despite holding the world hostage before, Charles Dreyfus (Herbert Lom) is back as Sûreté Chief Inspector... if the sight of Clouseau alive and well doesn't crack him up first. 😅🥰
From the disco beat added to the 'PP' opening theme song to the many forced accidents/crashing vehicle gags (many not involving Clouseau or Dreyfus) culminating in a fireworks factory free-for-all in the docks of Hong Kong, this is the first Sellers/Edwards entry in the series that feels perfunctory and going through the motions. Graham Stark's Professor Balls giving Clouseau a variety of disguises (including a 'Godfather' fat suit) is an unfunny recurring gag; the Swedish sailor with an inflatable parrot foggy dock scene seems to go on forever.🙄🥱 It's nice for a change of pace to have Dyan Cannon playing an active female protagonist who isn't a damsel in distress or sexy dame, with Burt Kwouk's blinded-by-prescription-glasses Cato complementing the dysfunctional trio. It's a shame Herbert Lom (so good in "... Strikes Again") is underused as a reactor instead of chaos instigator. Robert Webber's Douvier is such a generic crime boss his henchmen (Robert Loggia and Paul Stewart) outshine him the few times they share scenes. Still worth seeing (really fun/silly moments creep up semi-frequently), but by far the weakest of the 70's 'Pink Panther' revival era (ERA!) trilogy.
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 3.5 GIANT TYPEWRITERS (out of five). A visible downgrade from its '75 and '76 predecessors, with Marvel Animation replacing Richard Williams Studio. Slightly-above TV quality cartoon gags (letters turning into barking dogs, bombs melting paintings, etc.) complement the disco beat given to Henry Mancini's theme song. 'It's fine-ish'.
MOVIE RATING: 3.35 MALFUNCTIONING SILVER HORNET SUPERCARS (out of five).
A QUIET PLACE IN THE COUNTRY (1968, dir. Elio Petri)
ReplyDeleteA crowd-pleasing piece of cinema this is not. Actor of the day Franco Nero is in serious mode as a painter becoming more and more convinced that the ghost of a young woman is haunting the Italian villa he just purchased. He is also in an increasingly strained relationship with his girlfriend (Vanessa Redgrave) and struggling with a major artistic block. This is one of those "is it real" kind of movies, with dreams and nightmares mingling with everyday life. With this being on my watchlist for many years, I had the patience today to settle in to an arthouse experience.
The editing and the score by Ennio Morricone is very avant-garde at certain moments during the film.
Trivia Time: What do you think of when i list Richard Kiel, Barbara Bach, Guy Hammilton, and Robert Shaw?
ReplyDeleteIs it James Bond? Me to! Now lets throw in Franco Nero, Carl Weathers, and Harrison Ford.......
Force 10 From Navarone (1978)
Been meaning to watch this "sequel" to Guns of Navarone for a long time. I knew it was critically drubbed and its connection to the original flick is shoehorned at best. Its genre is the classic: "Small group of smart @ss soldiers on an impossible WW2 mission". And considering part of that mission is to blow up a bridge it could be better called "Force 10 From Navarone meets Bridge Over The River Kwai 2 Electric Boomaloo". I actually had alot of fun with it!! Its too long and a bit all over the place but i liked all of the lead actors and enjoy the impossible mission theme bunches. I suppose if you discount the expectations of the classics its living in the shadow of, you might enjoy.
Die Hard 2 (1990, dir. Renny Harlin)
ReplyDelete3, 1, 5, 2, 4
In looking up Nero flicks i saw this listed. Ive seen this movie many many many times and didnt realize it was Nero!! Mindblown.
Delete1,3,2,5,4
1, 3, 4, 2... wait, there was a "Die Hard 5"? 😱😛
DeleteI thought people liked DH2 more than this. I kinda get putting after 3, but 4 and 5?
DeleteFor me it pretty much go in order of releases... 1-2-3-4-5
I saw 2 and 4 almost back-to-back not too long ago, and though 2 is still very entertaining l think was underrated and a ton of fun... even saddled with a PG-13. 🤔🤐
Delete(honestly ive completely written off 4 and 5 and just flipped em for the hell of it. The divide in level of quality between 1/2/3 and 4/5, to me, is d@mn near the same as Caddyshack to Caddyshack 2. )
DeleteI'm with Kunider. 1, 2, 3... ... 4 (never seen 5). Swap 2 and 3 at your leisure.
DeleteI'm going 1,2,4,3 simply becuase as awesome as 3 is it does not feel like a die hard movie. Bruce feels like he's playing more Hollenbach than McClane
DeleteI also consistently misspell because, so take my opinion with that in mind.
DeleteDon't get me wrong, it is all relative. I still think 2 is a cool action movie. I just think there are so many annoying/grating characters it's kind of an unpleasant watch for me. And I also think 5 is pretty rad (the opening car chase? C'mon!) but I also understand almost no one else shares that opinion.
DeleteMassacre Time (1966)
ReplyDeleteThere's no Fulci or Westerns day on this year's calendar, so I'm killing three birds with one stone here.
Franco Nero is a gold prospector who's minding his own business, but when he receives a letter urging him back to his home town, he has no choice but to saddle up. As it turns out, the whole town, including his family farm, has been taken over by a rich dude and his sadistic son who's a whiz with a whip. But before Nero can do anything about it, he must reconnect with his estranged drunkard brother. The movie's style seems to consciously copy Leone (down to the Morricone-like music and Nero's outfit which is exactly what Eastwood wore), but Fulci makes sure it's also way more violent, with people getting gunned down left and right. I particularly liked the old Chinese guy serving as comic relief. Fun, bloody times in the west.
I've heard varying opinions on this one. I appreciate the positive review here, as I've wanted to watch it, and I find your opinions frequently similar to mine. Thanks!
DeleteI watched it this one too for the same reasons and I really enjoyed it. Fulci really brings the horror-esque violence. The bullwhip fight was downright oppressive. And George Hilton almost steals the show as the drunk brother.
DeleteTHE HIRED KILLER (1966, dir. Franco Prosperi)
ReplyDeleteI wanted to go with one of Franco Nero's obscure films, and this one certainly feels lost to time. In so many ways the 1972 film The Mechanic does a hitman methodology story better, but that does not mean The Hired Killer is completely a waste of time. I think the opening scenes in New York are handled well, creating a sense of tension. It is during the European section (the longer part) of the narrative that the film really drags. American actor Robert Webber is the titular killer, with Franco Nero tagging along on an assignment to kill an American gangster who has gone to Paris. Though no actor in the film really gets a chance to shine, Nero's role just requires him to be present. It is not among his most dynamic roles. This film coming very early in his career, he is dubbed in English by someone else.
THE FIFTH CORD (1971)
ReplyDeleteNero plays a rebellious journalist caught up in a series of murders. They’re going for a real noir here, with every character being dark and emotionally tortured in some way. Nero doesn’t do much other than serve intense looks at the camera, but he does that well. The visuals are the best thing about the movie, with elaborate sets and every shot looking all slick and stylish. On the other hand, the drama leans too far into melodrama, and the scenery gets well and truly chewed. This was well made, I suppose, just not for me.
30 days of fan films, day 18: THE VERSE (2014)
Like a lot of Firefly fan films, this one is about a similar ship and similar crew set in the same universe. The filmmakers somehow got corporate funding from Loot Crate (!), so the whole thing looks very polished and professional. But it’s also short, not giving us enough time to get to know these new characters, no matter how familiar they feel. Like the series it’s based on, it leaves you wanting more.
I tried watching The Fifth Cord years ago but could not get through it. It is a dull story. The cinematographer, Vittorio Storaro, would go on to win three Oscars for films like Apocalypse Now and The Last Emperor.
DeleteAlso watched Fifth Cord! Equally parts gorgeous and dull.
DeleteI think I have a hard time with I anticipate a new Giallo and get a solid movie that's a mediocre Giallo. Hard to give it a fair chance at that point
Agreed the photography is a high point. But also I do give Nero credit here as playing an alcoholic really well—terrible judgement and zero thought given to consequences.
DeleteRedneck (1973): When you pair the steely gaze of Franco Nero with the unhinged, lip-smacking energy of Telly Savalas, you expect a certain level of Euro-crime carnage. Redneck, known in its native Italy as Senza ragione, delivers that in spades, though it’s a strange, disjointed beast that feels like two different movies glued together by a madman who loves
ReplyDeleteWhy is Telly — a Greek American born in Long Island — playing an American Southerner who speaks jive? Who thought having a teenage boy watch a naked Franco Nero and then examining his own naked body was a good idea? How many taboos is this movie ready to shoot in the face?
Maybe it was director Silvio Narizzano, who was born in Quebec and started his career in Toronto-based television before directing movies like Die! Die! My Darling!, Georgy Girl and the insane Carroll Baker and Denis Hopper-starring Bloodbath. Or perhaps it was writers Win Wells, who was also behind The Greek Tycoon, and Masolino D’Amico, a writer on Olivia Hussey’s Romeo and Juliet, as well as Caligula and the Cannon version of Otello.
Anyways, Lester’s father Michael, must have made some contacts in Italy, as he would go on to write and produce Antonio Margheriti’s Codename: Wild Geese.
What a weird movie.
Hitch-Hike (1977, dir. Pasquale Festa Campanile)
ReplyDeleteA married couple who seem to hate each other (Nero and Moonraker's Corinne Cléry) are driving across California (and definitely not Italy) when they pick up a hitch-hiker (David Hess), who turns out to be an escaped mental patient and bank robber. He takes the couple hostage and forces them to drive him to Mexico (which, I'll remind you, is right across the border, because they're definitely in California, not Italy).
The plot throws a couple of real curveballs, and the ending is pretty great. California looks suspiciously like Italy. Nero and Cléry are both excellent, but Hess steals the show as a psychopath. Ennio Morricone's score fits the story well, that one cheery ballad by someone called I Gladrags doesn't.
The Salamander
ReplyDeleteWell, that’s a bummer. For the first 10-15 minutes I thought I might have found a hidden gem as Franco Nero lends his steely gaze to a man investigating the murder of an Italian General, but unfortunately the mystery drags itself very slowly toward an underwhelming conclusion.
There’s a terrific supporting cast here including Martin Balsam with an extremely dubious accent, Eli Wallach, Christopher Lee, Sybil Danning, Anthony Quinn, Cleavon Little, Anita Strindberg, and Paul L. Smith, but they’re all left treading water by the dull screenplay (written by Rod Serling (!) though it wasn’t filmed until 6 years after his death). This was one of those mid-tier movies in constant HBO rotation in the early 80s, and I saw one minute of it when I was 7 or 8 that showed a hand with the fingernails removed and that gave me nightmares for quite some time. I may have new nightmares generated from Nero fighting Paul L. Smith while wearing only a jock strap, but that’s for me and my therapist to worry about.
KEOMA (1976, Enzo G. Castellari)
ReplyDeleteI watched a ton of Spaghetti Westerns this year, including most of Franco Nero’s most heralded efforts (someone please watch Sergio Carbucci’s COMPANEROS, it’s excellent), but this one remained on my list. Late-stage Spaghetti, operatic and existential, lots of sweeping shots of the sensational scenery of Lago di Camposecco in central Italy. A gorgeous film, with strong performances by Nero, William Berger, and Woody Strode, with rousing action, particularly the lengthy shootout scene near the end. Marred only by the folk-singing Greek chorus of Italian Nico and Leonard Cohen knockoffs, warbling the inner narrative of our characters; frankly, silence would have said a lot more. It’s not in my upper echelon of Spaghettis, but definitely well worth a watch if you dig this genre.
My pick for today was also Keoma (1976). I agree with pretty much everything Zillagord wrote above (Italian Nico and Leonard Cohen cracked me up), so I'll just ramble some random added thoughts.
DeleteNero's Keoma is pitted against his three half-brothers. The movie uses flashbacks to when they were kids, and they give the kids the exact same haircuts as the adult versions to identify them. The brothers are Curly Hair (Donald Sutherland's evil twin), Straight Hair, and Blonde Hair. Adult Keoma has a long lion's mane of a hair and a full beard. Kid Keoma has the same hair, but I thought it would've been funny if they just gave him the beard, too.
The singing parts of the score are truly dreadful. The voices (male and female alike) are grating and the lyrics give embarrassingly on-the-nose narration of the action ("He's with his faaaather, and she's going with themmmmm").
The movie hits a bunch of classic Western tropes, but with a dreamy, gritty new wave feel. Just vibes-wise, it reminded me a lot of the post-Leone Clint Westerns... just not as good as those.
Woody Strode going ham with his bow and arrow RULES!
Reed: I liked the way the flashbacks were presented, with Keoma actually in the frame witnessing the himself and the other characters from the past. A really good film, coulda been great without the (as you said) grating. Have you seen CEMETARY WTHOUT CROSSES (1969)? It has similar vibes.
DeleteI agree it was cool the way they placed present-time Keoma IN the flashback scenes. The one where they show his younger dad in a flashback, cut away, cut back and his dad is suddenly older dad... for a while I wasn't sure if it was really happening (it was), or if Keoma was just imagining the aged dad... but all in a cool way.
DeleteI have not seen Cemetery without Crosses, but it's going on my list!
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ReplyDeleteHitch Hike (1977, dir. Pasquale Festa Campanile)
ReplyDeleteTLDR: the men are awful, and eesh... gotta feel for the wife.
Maybe the sleaziest I've seen Nero (though I'm still pretty new to him) and he plays it well. This could easily have been a ho-hum hostage story, but enough novel plot points kept things flowing well—and of course it's X percent cooler in Italian. All 3 main characters give pretty good performances, with David Hess evoking the strongest reaction in me.
But ughh why is that dumb hippie song played so many times!! It should have stayed at the campground... maybe thrown in the fire.
The Italian flicks and their bad songs!!
DeleteBut on the other hand, I love some of the musical scores they have! Deep Red (Profondo Rosso) and Eyeball (Gatti Rossi in un Laberinto di Vetro) come to mind right away.
DeleteMAM-- totally! So many killer soundtracks! One I particularly love is Morricone's INVESTIGATION OF A CITIZEN ABOVE SUSPICION.
DeleteDjango (1966)
ReplyDeleteI know it's not a deep cut, but I had never seen before.
Wow. I was in after the first few minutes. I thought the direction was outstanding. Then the reveal of what's in the coffin. I really appreciated all the mud.
Not sure this was meant to be viewed in HD. You can really see all of the stage makeup. I might not be quite as high on it as some, I think it slogs a little bit around 2/3 of the way through. But I was really impressed.
Django (1966)
ReplyDeleteHe seemingly has infinite bullets for that machine gun, which is ridiculous, but kind of fun. The whole movie is pretty ridiculous, the end in particular, but it does give us that incredible last shot of the hun dripping with blood!
I enjoyed it, but its not going to be in my favorite westerns.
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ReplyDeleteThe Falcon aka Banović Strahinja (1981 Dir Vatroslav Mimica)
ReplyDeleteA retelling of the Searchers. Instead of a former Calvary Man looking for his niece, we have a Serbian Knight searching for his kidnapped wife. Taken by a band of Turkish deserters when the knight is on a quest. When the Turks attack their leader is instantly smitten with our hero's wife and kidnaps her after slaughtering most of the village. Our Hero then decides to go find his wife but is reminded that when he finds her he must blind her due to her adultery with the other man. All the while the Turkish marauder is using that fact to try and force the wife to give up her virtue. Will the hero find his wife? Will the wife give in to the Turk? Will he kill her when he does find the wife or will he just blind her, or most outlandish of them all, does he have it in himself to forgive her?
Confessions of a Police Captain (1971, dir. Damiano Damiani)
ReplyDeleteA Franco Nero and Martin Balsam show that is a battle of wits, but also doesn't let you in on the whole story from the start. I did like that aspect and the side characters were used quite well to keep stringing you along.
I will probably need to revisit, but right now I'd say it's pretty satisfying and it ended nicely. PS: One funny moment when Nero/Balsam mistake each others cars really made me smile.
Django (1966)
ReplyDeleteI was very overwhelmed trying to figure out what to watch (did NOT plan for today) and this was on Kanopy.
Some really excellent moments (basically everything to do with the coffin), but also baffling character choices.