'FROM THE SUBLIME...' 146.- THE HOUSE WITH LAUGHING WINDOWS (1976, ARROW 4K UHD).
In a remote rural village deep into Northern Italy's Valli di Comacchio region, young paint restorer Stefano (Bob Ross-lookalike Lino Capolicchio) is hired to restore a badly-damaged fresco painting depicting the alleged martyrdom of San Sebastian. As he learns the sordid background of the long-gone artist who made the fresco (Tonino Corazzari's Buono Legnani, mostly heard via audio recording) and other works of art depicting the ecstasy of death, Stefano starts flirting with and falling in love with young local teacher Francesca (Francesca Marciano). Then some of the locals start being brutally murdered, which Stefano thinks has to do with preventing him from finding out the truth about Legnani's true legacy and the small town's complicity. Co-written and directed by Pupi Avati ("Revenge of the Dead," aka "Zeder"), "House With the Laughing Windows" is less interested in check-marking giallo tropes than creating an artistic mood piece that makes repeat viewings (seen it twice already) rewarding. The absence of an English dub (Italian language only with subtitles) means you have to pay attention and not get lost early on, but the slow pace is rewarded with a decent body count and a truly f*cked-up reveal/resolution. 4K transfer is stunning, not a spec of dirt or film imperfection on this 50-year-old Italian love letter to appreciating art while stabbing hanging bodies with deep knives. 4.25 SHOTS OF SKY CLOUDS AS AIRPLANE ENGINES ROAR IN THE DISTANCE (out of five).
'... TO THE RIDICULOUS' TWO-FER! 147.- THE NEW BARBARIANS, aka WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND (1983, BLUE UNDERGROUND BLU-RAY).
Or as it should be called, Temu discount Italian "Mad Max." One of three low-budget movies director Enzo G. Castellari prepped and shot in six months ("1990: The Bronx Warriors" and "Escape From the Bronx" are the other two), "The New Barbarians" mostly revolves around the lone driver of a souped-up car named Scorpion (Giancarlo Prete), his young mechanic friend (Giovanni Frezza, aka BOB from "House by the Cemetery!" 😲🥳) and ally archer Nadir (Fred Williamson, looking/acting like a feathered peacock in heat! 😅) surviving a post-nuclear holocaust that has wiped out most of humanity. Scorpion used to be part of a gang of murdering men calling themselves 'The Templars,' who target every human encampment for extermination. The constant run-ins between Scorpion and these Templars result in some pretty slick action scenes (exploding arrows, decapitated bike riders, car/bike crashes, etc.) until our anti-hero is captured by his enemies, resulting in... no spoilers, but WOW! 😲😱🥵 What the movie lacks in resources (no laser blasts for the weapons, just the 'pew pew' sound effect) it compensates for with old-fashioned ingenuity and shock value (again... THAT scene! 😦😰), leading to a memorable finale that ends things on a mini-high. A fun time if you can keep secret from your friends the surprise twist at the halfway mark that goes... where no man ever wishes it'd go. 🫣 4 LASER-PROOF, TRANSPARENT PLASTIC SHIELDS TO SHOW OFF YOUR PECTORAL MUSCLES (out of five).
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 27! 140.- THE PINK PANTHER: PINK, PINK & AWAY; DOWN ON THE ANT FARM (9/11/1993, YOUTUBE)
The Pink Panther speaks! Controversial at the time, giving the Panther the voice of Matt Frewer ("Max Headroom") is actually less important than the creative decision of bringing in the supporting cast of the 1964-1980 animated shorts as either background characters or allies/antagonists of the Panther. For the pilot episode, 'Pink, Pink & Away,' the cast of 'The Dogfather' are bank robbers that the PP tries to stop by dressing up as a superhero. When the dog criminals realize the kid is a good gamer, they use his skills to rob a diamond (in a plot very similar to the recently-released movie "Tuner"). In 'Down on the Art Farm,' the Ant and the Aardvark return as the PP tries to salvage his ant farm research that'll earn him a Nobel Prize. Both of these cartoons are mostly typical Saturday morning tomfoolery, but they sneak enough creative wild swings (the ending of 'P, P & Away,' the Panther shrinking to ant size to appeal to the Queen Ant and her subjects to help him fight the Aardvark, etc.) to make me want to see more. An unexpected and pleasant surprise... despite the PP talking. 👎😕 4 HUMAN CANNONBALL DO-IT-YOURSELF KITS (out of five).
In 'Who's Smiling Now?' a rookie Pink Panther detective is teamed up with the legendary 'Inspector' (who looks/sounds a lot more like Peter Sellers than the 60's 'The Inspector' shorts ever did) to try and solve the case of the stolen Mona Lisa painting at the museum. I like that even though PP can speak, very often he stays quiet or defers his thoughts to Inspector's "deductive" reasoning. The clues lead the pair to a circus, where all manner of silly hijinks yield the actual art thief. In 'Rob'n Hoodwinked' the Panther's musical instrument is snatched by a Little Man King, so he tries to break into the castle to get it back with the help of 'The Dogfather' crew pretending to be Robin Hood and the Merry Men... until PP runs into the real 'Robyn' Hood. Who knew that, as Junesploitation's ending, I'm pumped to watch all these 90's 'Pink Panther' cartoons starting in July. 😁4.15 OVERSTUFFED CIRCUS CLOWN CARS (out of five).
Not really compelled by what is happening at any time, but it’s gorgeous to look at and listen to. Imagine all that free production value just from shooting in those ancient Italian villages.
Kill, Baby, Kill is among the best of his films. Like a lot of examples of 1960s Italian horror, the script is the least important aspect of the film. (A woman channeling the spirit of her dead daughter to kill people is not the most interesting story idea.) The atmosphere is the key aspect, and Kill, Baby, Kill has plenty of that. The scenes with the witch doctor are ones that I always enjoy re-visiting.
Michelangelo Antonioni, existentialist exploitation master. Pier Paolo Pasolini is a director who had his hand in the arthouse and more exploitative stuff, particular with Salo and the literary adaptations before his death.
The translation of the title is a student in a university preparation program. It is a female student in this case.
This is not the side of Italian s-e-x comedy that I enjoy. Gloria Guida is the student who enjoys leading men on. The English title of film, THE TEASER, therefore is very appropriate. At first, she targets her classmates and teachers, but soon she meets an older man with whom she quickly gets infatuated. The humor is annoyingly zany, and what there is of a plot structure is designed to get to as many n-u-d-e scenes as possible. A dull watch overall and one that confirms my allergy to Alvaro Vitali, one of the most cast male actors in the genre.
My first Michele Soavi film is also his first feature film, a really tasty giallo-flavored slasher. An egomaniacal director forces his browbeaten actors to stay in a studio overnight to keep rehearsing his crappy play about a serial killer in a freaky owl mask. They don't realize that they are locked in with a psychopath who has just escaped from a mental hospital and also has a flair for the dramatic. I always thought that a strong setting is a crucial element of a good slasher, and the half-empty theater space with all its nooks and crannies is a terrific place to play cat and mouse with a homicidal maniac. I also appreciated how there's no hemming and hawing about the kills, they are are quick, decisive and brutal.
ARGOMAN THE FANTASTIC SUPERMAN (1967) The theft of England’s crown jewels is one part of a much bigger criminal conspiracy, and superhero Argoman is on the case. He’s a secret agent, a millionaire playboy, and the world’s most powerful psychic – James Bond, Batman, and Professor X rolled up into one. But there’s too much time spent on jet-setting, investigative work, and romancing the ladies, and not enough of Argoman being Argoman. On the plus side, they must’ve spent a fortune on this, because the sets and costumes all look amazing in that ‘60s mod way. I guess I enjoyed this for the high camp of it all, but the slower parts felt pretty freakin’ slow.
30 days of fan films, day 27: MORTAL KOMBAT: HANZO’S REVENGE (2021) Sonya and Kano duke it out in the woods, followed by a couple of other MK favorite characters. Not a lot of story here, but more of a martial arts and stunt showcase – though I suppose that’s true of every Mortal Kombat adaptation. Some of the kills get real gory, which gamers will no doubt appreciate.
The Case of the Bloody Iris (1972, dir. Giuliano Carnimeo)
I hadn't seen a movie from this director before, and looks like we're off to a good start. Solid giallo that doesn't stand out a whole lot but delivers what I came for.
Highlights are Edwige Fenech as the lead and lovely as ever, and some satisfying camera shots. The story is okay and is presented pretty well. Standard aspects of unknown killer, sexy ladies... misdirection, madness, molto rosso blood all make an appearance.
(side quibble: Again I feel let down by the streaming quality I had, and may have to revisit this to really have the full experience.)
The score is my favorite part of The Case of the Bloody Iris. It has been a long time since I watched this, but I much preferred other giallli over this one.
The Summertime Killer (1972, dir. Antonio Isasi-Isasmendi)
Chris Mitchum is the son of a mob boss who is getting revenge for his father’s murder by executing rival mobsters. He also kidnaps the daughter of the Don (Olivia Hussey) and imprisons her on his boat. All the while an American cop (a somnambulant Karl Malden) investigates the crimes. This was such a snooze-fest. Also pretty sure I saw a horse’s legs get broken from a high fall which was horrifying. And it was wonderful to see a bull’s corpse dragged away post bullfight. It wouldn’t be Italian cinema day without animal torture/death. Avoid like the plague.
ENDGAME (1983, Steve Benson aka Joe D’Amato aka Aristide Massaccesi)
With Al Cliver (aka Pierluigi Conti), Laura Gemser (billed here as Moira Chen), George Eastman (aka Luigi Montefiori), and a multitude of other multi-named actors and crew members! Reading the end credits was a gas-- love the Italians and their Anglo aliases!
Passable pasta post-apocalypsloitation effort. Cliver walks the fine line between laconic and catatonic as the antihero. Gemser plays against type as a full-clothed person (until her contractually obligated r@pe scene), and Eastman hulks around and looks menacing per usual. There’s mutants, pariahs, and fascists—oh my! There’s a Magnificent Seven/Dirty Dozen assemblage of squad members. There’s plenty of fighting and machine gun massacres, with an abundance of overly obvious stunt doubles. Also, I learned that in the future (2025 in this one), there’s a helluva lot of face paint! All leading up to the final battle between… what??? A FREEZEFRAME?!?! ENDLAME!!!!
The Devil's Wedding Night (1973 dir. Luigi Batzella, with an assist from Joe D'Amoto).
An Italian "scholar" decides to visit some creepy castles in Transylvania on the hunt for a magic ring of great powers once owned by Genghis Kahn amongst many others. This leads to a run on with Rosabla Neri by not just the scholar but his idential twin brother (both played by Mark Damon) and hiniks ensue. There is one unforgetable scene of naked Neri covered in blood emerging from a smoking cauldorn. Othewise it's a bit slow at times, and very trippy. Picks up a bit at the end, by Rosalba Neri is the main reason to watch this one.
Watched on a 4K from Severin in one of their Danza Macabra sets.
Being a fan of Rosalba Neri, I have seen this one a few times. (Check out Lady Frankenstein if you have not seen that film of hers.) Despite the super slow start to the film, I have fun with this kind of Italian schlock. Luigi Batzella films are more s-e-x-p-l-o-i-t-a-t-i-o-n horror rather than serious horror. Besides the bathing scene, the concluding ritual sacrifice has its exploitation high points.
Il Demonio a.k.a. The Demon (1963, dir. Brunello Rondi)
A young woman spurned by her lover becomes dabbles in witchcraft and becomes increasingly erratic. The townspeople determine she's possessed by a demon and subject her to painful and degrading rituals, but are they correct or is she just mentally disturbed?
Draws a pretty strong parallel between the rituals of whichcraft and those of religion, and makes you wonder how many illnesses, both physical and psychological, in history have been diagnosed as demon possession and how many lives have been ruined because of that? Rondi's direction looks great, Daliah Lavi gives an amazing performance and Piero Piccioni's music goes hard.
Il pianeta degli uomini spenti a.k.a. Battle of the Worlds (1961, dir. Antonio Margheriti)
Astronomers working at an observatory discover a rogue planet on a collision course with Earth, but to everyone's astonishment it changes course at the last minute and begins orbiting Earth instead... and launches an attack fleet of flying saucers.
There are a few fun space scenes with spaceship miniatures and inside the alien planet is a fun set, but on the other hand most of the runtime is taken over by people talking in vaguely sciencey rooms. And characters spend a lot of time melodramatically litigating their romantic relationships, despite the planet literally being under attack. There's a lot of theremin on the soundtrack and 71-year-old Claude Rains chews scenery as an ornery astronomer.
Neverlake (2013): Jenny (Daisy Keeping), a young English woman, heads to Italy to reconnect with her estranged father, Dr. Brooks (David Brandon, Stagefright, Beyond Darkness). Once a respected medical professional, Brooks has traded in his stethoscope for a trowel, acting as an amateur archaeologist obsessed with a lake—an actual place, The Lake of Idols—once worshipped by the Etruscans.
As Jenny digs into her father’s project, she starts unearthing dark secrets about the lake, her own past, and the man she barely knows, sparking curiosity and a desire to uncover the truth.
Back to the lake. Locals used to toss carved totems into the water as sacrifices to the spirits, but Brooks has been busy doing the opposite. He’s exhuming these ancient relics and throwing other stones into the water for reasons that aren’t exactly clear at the start.
With her dad constantly out researching, Jenny is left to her own devices. She’s caught between a dimly evil au pair named Olga (Joy Tanner, Prom Night IV) and spending afternoons reading Shelley by the lake. This habit quickly attracts an audience of pale, disfigured children from a nearby orphanage who emerge from the woods. Jenny, acting like some sort of goth-crazed den mother, starts bonding with them. Mistake, right? You know it.
This was director Riccardo Paoletti‘s first movie. He’s working on a no-budget, all-over-the-place script from Manuela Cacciamani and Carlo Longo, but he does his best with it. It’s nice to see that an Italian horror movie was made this century. I wish we could have seen what our favorites would have made for streaming channels.
In his younger years, Dario Argento was an absolute master with a roster of unassailable classics like Tenebrae, Deep Red, Suspiria, and The Bird With the Crystal Plumage (my personal favorite Giallo). Later in his career he began to falter until he reached his nadir with the execrable Dracula 3D, a movie so bad that it seemingly stopped his career in its tracks. A full decade later he got back behind the camera, and here is the result.
While it’s nowhere near as bad as Dracula 3D, it’s certainly not without problems. Diana (Ilenia Pastorelli) is a woman blinded in an accident, navigating her new life while also caring for the child of a couple killed in that same accident. The two of them (and her heroic guide dog) are faced with a murderous stalker and have to count on each other to survive. There’s a level of cruelty to the violence that is severely off-putting, and the performances are pretty flat. Unfortunately the suspense and visual style that Argento built his career on just isn’t evident here. Too bad.
Movegoers are trapped in their screening when one turns into a zomboid demon and begins turning the others as well.
Wow this movie had some very soggy scenes... the amount of blood and other corporeal fluids must have ballooned producer Argento's mop budget!
Sanguinary awe aside, there was a lot to like: I dug the locked-in premise, the mirroring of story with the movie they were all watching, lots of gnarly gory effects, and the metal music was used well in the crazy scenes.
The sight of those glowing eyes coming up the stairs was pretty great. And who knew that swinging a sword from atop a motorcycle would make me grin so much? They of course include the trope of the victims making poor decisions, but I didn't really hate any of the characters.
Definitely falls in the better half of my Junesploitation list so far.
This is by far the most divided I have felt about anything I have watched this month. There are aspects of the film that I really enjoyed while also being frustrated by the experience. This stars my favorite Italian genre actress, Rosalba Neri. She has a dual role as a skeptical modern woman visiting a castle that is reputedly owned by the Devil and a woman in some ill-defined European past creating a pact with the Devil in her small village. This is a lovely film to look at, but there is no attempt at telling a coherent story. There is, rather, a dream logic to much of what happens, which may influence how a viewer reacts to this the film. In a different mind-set than I had this time, I think I would enjoy the vibe of The Devil’s Lover more.
In Italy, living like a cop means shooting and blowing up the criminals as soon as you see them. And dying like a man means living. And a shirt is the only thing keeping a woman from becoming an insatiable sex maniac.
Both Italian and Cinema doing really heavy lifting on this one. Italian Jaws ripoff that seems to also be ripping off the pre-existing knockoffs.
There's a pause, zoom in on a dolphin (or was it a seal?) reaction, a young wheelchair bound girl being accidentally shoved into shark infested waters, and said girl's father (Temu Hulk Hogan) deadpan glaring at her quips like she's ad-libbing and he's had enough of her shit. Some of the funniest stuff I've seen on screen all month.
'FROM THE SUBLIME...'
ReplyDelete146.- THE HOUSE WITH LAUGHING WINDOWS (1976, ARROW 4K UHD).
In a remote rural village deep into Northern Italy's Valli di Comacchio region, young paint restorer Stefano (Bob Ross-lookalike Lino Capolicchio) is hired to restore a badly-damaged fresco painting depicting the alleged martyrdom of San Sebastian. As he learns the sordid background of the long-gone artist who made the fresco (Tonino Corazzari's Buono Legnani, mostly heard via audio recording) and other works of art depicting the ecstasy of death, Stefano starts flirting with and falling in love with young local teacher Francesca (Francesca Marciano). Then some of the locals start being brutally murdered, which Stefano thinks has to do with preventing him from finding out the truth about Legnani's true legacy and the small town's complicity. Co-written and directed by Pupi Avati ("Revenge of the Dead," aka "Zeder"), "House With the Laughing Windows" is less interested in check-marking giallo tropes than creating an artistic mood piece that makes repeat viewings (seen it twice already) rewarding. The absence of an English dub (Italian language only with subtitles) means you have to pay attention and not get lost early on, but the slow pace is rewarded with a decent body count and a truly f*cked-up reveal/resolution. 4K transfer is stunning, not a spec of dirt or film imperfection on this 50-year-old Italian love letter to appreciating art while stabbing hanging bodies with deep knives. 4.25 SHOTS OF SKY CLOUDS AS AIRPLANE ENGINES ROAR IN THE DISTANCE (out of five).
'... TO THE RIDICULOUS' TWO-FER!
ReplyDelete147.- THE NEW BARBARIANS, aka WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND (1983, BLUE UNDERGROUND BLU-RAY).
Or as it should be called, Temu discount Italian "Mad Max." One of three low-budget movies director Enzo G. Castellari prepped and shot in six months ("1990: The Bronx Warriors" and "Escape From the Bronx" are the other two), "The New Barbarians" mostly revolves around the lone driver of a souped-up car named Scorpion (Giancarlo Prete), his young mechanic friend (Giovanni Frezza, aka BOB from "House by the Cemetery!" 😲🥳) and ally archer Nadir (Fred Williamson, looking/acting like a feathered peacock in heat! 😅) surviving a post-nuclear holocaust that has wiped out most of humanity. Scorpion used to be part of a gang of murdering men calling themselves 'The Templars,' who target every human encampment for extermination. The constant run-ins between Scorpion and these Templars result in some pretty slick action scenes (exploding arrows, decapitated bike riders, car/bike crashes, etc.) until our anti-hero is captured by his enemies, resulting in... no spoilers, but WOW! 😲😱🥵 What the movie lacks in resources (no laser blasts for the weapons, just the 'pew pew' sound effect) it compensates for with old-fashioned ingenuity and shock value (again... THAT scene! 😦😰), leading to a memorable finale that ends things on a mini-high. A fun time if you can keep secret from your friends the surprise twist at the halfway mark that goes... where no man ever wishes it'd go. 🫣 4 LASER-PROOF, TRANSPARENT PLASTIC SHIELDS TO SHOW OFF YOUR PECTORAL MUSCLES (out of five).
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 27!
ReplyDelete140.- THE PINK PANTHER: PINK, PINK & AWAY; DOWN ON THE ANT FARM (9/11/1993, YOUTUBE)
The Pink Panther speaks! Controversial at the time, giving the Panther the voice of Matt Frewer ("Max Headroom") is actually less important than the creative decision of bringing in the supporting cast of the 1964-1980 animated shorts as either background characters or allies/antagonists of the Panther. For the pilot episode, 'Pink, Pink & Away,' the cast of 'The Dogfather' are bank robbers that the PP tries to stop by dressing up as a superhero. When the dog criminals realize the kid is a good gamer, they use his skills to rob a diamond (in a plot very similar to the recently-released movie "Tuner"). In 'Down on the Art Farm,' the Ant and the Aardvark return as the PP tries to salvage his ant farm research that'll earn him a Nobel Prize. Both of these cartoons are mostly typical Saturday morning tomfoolery, but they sneak enough creative wild swings (the ending of 'P, P & Away,' the Panther shrinking to ant size to appeal to the Queen Ant and her subjects to help him fight the Aardvark, etc.) to make me want to see more. An unexpected and pleasant surprise... despite the PP talking. 👎😕 4 HUMAN CANNONBALL DO-IT-YOURSELF KITS (out of five).
Doh, my bad! The above review was No. 148. 😇
Delete149.- THE PINK PANTHER: WHO'S SMILING NOW?; ROB'N HOODWINKED (12/11/1994, YOUTUBE)
In 'Who's Smiling Now?' a rookie Pink Panther detective is teamed up with the legendary 'Inspector' (who looks/sounds a lot more like Peter Sellers than the 60's 'The Inspector' shorts ever did) to try and solve the case of the stolen Mona Lisa painting at the museum. I like that even though PP can speak, very often he stays quiet or defers his thoughts to Inspector's "deductive" reasoning. The clues lead the pair to a circus, where all manner of silly hijinks yield the actual art thief. In 'Rob'n Hoodwinked' the Panther's musical instrument is snatched by a Little Man King, so he tries to break into the castle to get it back with the help of 'The Dogfather' crew pretending to be Robin Hood and the Merry Men... until PP runs into the real 'Robyn' Hood. Who knew that, as Junesploitation's ending, I'm pumped to watch all these 90's 'Pink Panther' cartoons starting in July. 😁4.15 OVERSTUFFED CIRCUS CLOWN CARS (out of five).
#JUneSPLOItaTION Day 27: Italian Cinema!
ReplyDeleteKILL, BABY… KILL! (1966) dir. Mario Bava
Not really compelled by what is happening at any time, but it’s gorgeous to look at and listen to. Imagine all that free production value just from shooting in those ancient Italian villages.
Have you watched anything else from Mario Bava?
DeleteKill, Baby, Kill is among the best of his films. Like a lot of examples of 1960s Italian horror, the script is the least important aspect of the film. (A woman channeling the spirit of her dead daughter to kill people is not the most interesting story idea.) The atmosphere is the key aspect, and Kill, Baby, Kill has plenty of that. The scenes with the witch doctor are ones that I always enjoy re-visiting.
Just the big ones. I’m a story guy most of the time. I think I need to see his movies in a theater.
DeleteLA NOTTE (1961):
ReplyDeleteMost unrealistic part: A guy in his late thirties stayed awake all night.
Michelangelo Antonioni, existentialist exploitation master. Pier Paolo Pasolini is a director who had his hand in the arthouse and more exploitative stuff, particular with Salo and the literary adaptations before his death.
DeleteLA LICEALE (1975, dir. Michele Tarantini)
ReplyDeleteThe translation of the title is a student in a university preparation program. It is a female student in this case.
This is not the side of Italian s-e-x comedy that I enjoy. Gloria Guida is the student who enjoys leading men on. The English title of film, THE TEASER, therefore is very appropriate. At first, she targets her classmates and teachers, but soon she meets an older man with whom she quickly gets infatuated. The humor is annoyingly zany, and what there is of a plot structure is designed to get to as many n-u-d-e scenes as possible. A dull watch overall and one that confirms my allergy to Alvaro Vitali, one of the most cast male actors in the genre.
Stage Fright a.k.a. Deliria a.k.a. Aquarius (1987)
ReplyDeleteMy first Michele Soavi film is also his first feature film, a really tasty giallo-flavored slasher. An egomaniacal director forces his browbeaten actors to stay in a studio overnight to keep rehearsing his crappy play about a serial killer in a freaky owl mask. They don't realize that they are locked in with a psychopath who has just escaped from a mental hospital and also has a flair for the dramatic. I always thought that a strong setting is a crucial element of a good slasher, and the half-empty theater space with all its nooks and crannies is a terrific place to play cat and mouse with a homicidal maniac. I also appreciated how there's no hemming and hawing about the kills, they are are quick, decisive and brutal.
ARGOMAN THE FANTASTIC SUPERMAN (1967)
ReplyDeleteThe theft of England’s crown jewels is one part of a much bigger criminal conspiracy, and superhero Argoman is on the case. He’s a secret agent, a millionaire playboy, and the world’s most powerful psychic – James Bond, Batman, and Professor X rolled up into one. But there’s too much time spent on jet-setting, investigative work, and romancing the ladies, and not enough of Argoman being Argoman. On the plus side, they must’ve spent a fortune on this, because the sets and costumes all look amazing in that ‘60s mod way. I guess I enjoyed this for the high camp of it all, but the slower parts felt pretty freakin’ slow.
30 days of fan films, day 27: MORTAL KOMBAT: HANZO’S REVENGE (2021)
Sonya and Kano duke it out in the woods, followed by a couple of other MK favorite characters. Not a lot of story here, but more of a martial arts and stunt showcase – though I suppose that’s true of every Mortal Kombat adaptation. Some of the kills get real gory, which gamers will no doubt appreciate.
The Case of the Bloody Iris (1972, dir. Giuliano Carnimeo)
ReplyDeleteI hadn't seen a movie from this director before, and looks like we're off to a good start. Solid giallo that doesn't stand out a whole lot but delivers what I came for.
Highlights are Edwige Fenech as the lead and lovely as ever, and some satisfying camera shots. The story is okay and is presented pretty well. Standard aspects of unknown killer, sexy ladies... misdirection, madness, molto rosso blood all make an appearance.
(side quibble: Again I feel let down by the streaming quality I had, and may have to revisit this to really have the full experience.)
The score is my favorite part of The Case of the Bloody Iris. It has been a long time since I watched this, but I much preferred other giallli over this one.
DeleteThe Summertime Killer (1972, dir. Antonio Isasi-Isasmendi)
ReplyDeleteChris Mitchum is the son of a mob boss who is getting revenge for his father’s murder by executing rival mobsters. He also kidnaps the daughter of the Don (Olivia Hussey) and imprisons her on his boat. All the while an American cop (a somnambulant Karl Malden) investigates the crimes. This was such a snooze-fest. Also pretty sure I saw a horse’s legs get broken from a high fall which was horrifying. And it was wonderful to see a bull’s corpse dragged away post bullfight. It wouldn’t be Italian cinema day without animal torture/death. Avoid like the plague.
Chris Mitchum is usually enough for an "avoid like the plague" endorsement
DeleteENDGAME (1983, Steve Benson aka Joe D’Amato aka Aristide Massaccesi)
ReplyDeleteWith Al Cliver (aka Pierluigi Conti), Laura Gemser (billed here as Moira Chen), George Eastman (aka Luigi Montefiori), and a multitude of other multi-named actors and crew members! Reading the end credits was a gas-- love the Italians and their Anglo aliases!
Passable pasta post-apocalypsloitation effort. Cliver walks the fine line between laconic and catatonic as the antihero. Gemser plays against type as a full-clothed person (until her contractually obligated r@pe scene), and Eastman hulks around and looks menacing per usual. There’s mutants, pariahs, and fascists—oh my! There’s a Magnificent Seven/Dirty Dozen assemblage of squad members. There’s plenty of fighting and machine gun massacres, with an abundance of overly obvious stunt doubles. Also, I learned that in the future (2025 in this one), there’s a helluva lot of face paint! All leading up to the final battle between… what??? A FREEZEFRAME?!?! ENDLAME!!!!
The Devil's Wedding Night (1973 dir. Luigi Batzella, with an assist from Joe D'Amoto).
ReplyDeleteAn Italian "scholar" decides to visit some creepy castles in Transylvania on the hunt for a magic ring of great powers once owned by Genghis Kahn amongst many others. This leads to a run on with Rosabla Neri by not just the scholar but his idential twin brother (both played by Mark Damon) and hiniks ensue. There is one unforgetable scene of naked Neri covered in blood emerging from a smoking cauldorn. Othewise it's a bit slow at times, and very trippy. Picks up a bit at the end, by Rosalba Neri is the main reason to watch this one.
Watched on a 4K from Severin in one of their Danza Macabra sets.
Being a fan of Rosalba Neri, I have seen this one a few times. (Check out Lady Frankenstein if you have not seen that film of hers.) Despite the super slow start to the film, I have fun with this kind of Italian schlock. Luigi Batzella films are more s-e-x-p-l-o-i-t-a-t-i-o-n horror rather than serious horror. Besides the bathing scene, the concluding ritual sacrifice has its exploitation high points.
DeleteLady Frankenstein is a favorite of mine as well!
DeleteIl Demonio a.k.a. The Demon (1963, dir. Brunello Rondi)
ReplyDeleteA young woman spurned by her lover becomes dabbles in witchcraft and becomes increasingly erratic. The townspeople determine she's possessed by a demon and subject her to painful and degrading rituals, but are they correct or is she just mentally disturbed?
Draws a pretty strong parallel between the rituals of whichcraft and those of religion, and makes you wonder how many illnesses, both physical and psychological, in history have been diagnosed as demon possession and how many lives have been ruined because of that? Rondi's direction looks great, Daliah Lavi gives an amazing performance and Piero Piccioni's music goes hard.
Il pianeta degli uomini spenti a.k.a. Battle of the Worlds (1961, dir. Antonio Margheriti)
Astronomers working at an observatory discover a rogue planet on a collision course with Earth, but to everyone's astonishment it changes course at the last minute and begins orbiting Earth instead... and launches an attack fleet of flying saucers.
There are a few fun space scenes with spaceship miniatures and inside the alien planet is a fun set, but on the other hand most of the runtime is taken over by people talking in vaguely sciencey rooms. And characters spend a lot of time melodramatically litigating their romantic relationships, despite the planet literally being under attack. There's a lot of theremin on the soundtrack and 71-year-old Claude Rains chews scenery as an ornery astronomer.
The Demon is on my watch list. Thanks for the nudge!
ReplyDeleteNeverlake (2013): Jenny (Daisy Keeping), a young English woman, heads to Italy to reconnect with her estranged father, Dr. Brooks (David Brandon, Stagefright, Beyond Darkness). Once a respected medical professional, Brooks has traded in his stethoscope for a trowel, acting as an amateur archaeologist obsessed with a lake—an actual place, The Lake of Idols—once worshipped by the Etruscans.
ReplyDeleteAs Jenny digs into her father’s project, she starts unearthing dark secrets about the lake, her own past, and the man she barely knows, sparking curiosity and a desire to uncover the truth.
Back to the lake. Locals used to toss carved totems into the water as sacrifices to the spirits, but Brooks has been busy doing the opposite. He’s exhuming these ancient relics and throwing other stones into the water for reasons that aren’t exactly clear at the start.
With her dad constantly out researching, Jenny is left to her own devices. She’s caught between a dimly evil au pair named Olga (Joy Tanner, Prom Night IV) and spending afternoons reading Shelley by the lake. This habit quickly attracts an audience of pale, disfigured children from a nearby orphanage who emerge from the woods. Jenny, acting like some sort of goth-crazed den mother, starts bonding with them. Mistake, right? You know it.
This was director Riccardo Paoletti‘s first movie. He’s working on a no-budget, all-over-the-place script from Manuela Cacciamani and Carlo Longo, but he does his best with it. It’s nice to see that an Italian horror movie was made this century. I wish we could have seen what our favorites would have made for streaming channels.
Dark Glasses
ReplyDeleteIn his younger years, Dario Argento was an absolute master with a roster of unassailable classics like Tenebrae, Deep Red, Suspiria, and The Bird With the Crystal Plumage (my personal favorite Giallo). Later in his career he began to falter until he reached his nadir with the execrable Dracula 3D, a movie so bad that it seemingly stopped his career in its tracks. A full decade later he got back behind the camera, and here is the result.
While it’s nowhere near as bad as Dracula 3D, it’s certainly not without problems. Diana (Ilenia Pastorelli) is a woman blinded in an accident, navigating her new life while also caring for the child of a couple killed in that same accident. The two of them (and her heroic guide dog) are faced with a murderous stalker and have to count on each other to survive. There’s a level of cruelty to the violence that is severely off-putting, and the performances are pretty flat. Unfortunately the suspense and visual style that Argento built his career on just isn’t evident here. Too bad.
Demons (1985, dir. Lamberto Bava)
ReplyDeleteMovegoers are trapped in their screening when one turns into a zomboid demon and begins turning the others as well.
Wow this movie had some very soggy scenes... the amount of blood and other corporeal fluids must have ballooned producer Argento's mop budget!
Sanguinary awe aside, there was a lot to like: I dug the locked-in premise, the mirroring of story with the movie they were all watching, lots of gnarly gory effects, and the metal music was used well in the crazy scenes.
The sight of those glowing eyes coming up the stairs was pretty great. And who knew that swinging a sword from atop a motorcycle would make me grin so much? They of course include the trope of the victims making poor decisions, but I didn't really hate any of the characters.
Definitely falls in the better half of my Junesploitation list so far.
Classic! Make sure to check out Demons 2, it's even more outlandish (if not quite as high in quality).
DeleteA Fistful of Dollars(1964 Dir Sergio Leone)
ReplyDeleteAwesome movie thats almost as good as Yojimbo but is about 10 times better than Last Man Standing. Rowdy Yates is a movie star.
THE DEVIL’S LOVER (1972, dir. Paolo Lombardo)
ReplyDeleteThis is by far the most divided I have felt about anything I have watched this month. There are aspects of the film that I really enjoyed while also being frustrated by the experience. This stars my favorite Italian genre actress, Rosalba Neri. She has a dual role as a skeptical modern woman visiting a castle that is reputedly owned by the Devil and a woman in some ill-defined European past creating a pact with the Devil in her small village. This is a lovely film to look at, but there is no attempt at telling a coherent story. There is, rather, a dream logic to much of what happens, which may influence how a viewer reacts to this the film. In a different mind-set than I had this time, I think I would enjoy the vibe of The Devil’s Lover more.
One day late (busy with chores and World Cup).
ReplyDeleteLive Like a Cop, Die Like a Man (1976)
In Italy, living like a cop means shooting and blowing up the criminals as soon as you see them. And dying like a man means living. And a shirt is the only thing keeping a woman from becoming an insatiable sex maniac.
Cruel Jaws (1995)
ReplyDeleteBoth Italian and Cinema doing really heavy lifting on this one. Italian Jaws ripoff that seems to also be ripping off the pre-existing knockoffs.
There's a pause, zoom in on a dolphin (or was it a seal?) reaction, a young wheelchair bound girl being accidentally shoved into shark infested waters, and said girl's father (Temu Hulk Hogan) deadpan glaring at her quips like she's ad-libbing and he's had enough of her shit. Some of the funniest stuff I've seen on screen all month.
Love this one!
DeleteSECONDED! 🦈😎
Delete