In the closing days of World War II, Canadian fighter pilot Ted Stryker (Dana Andrews) makes a decision that causes the deaths of six men in his squadron. Ten years later, he has a hard time holding down a job and his marriage is on the rocks. When his wife leaves him, he chases her into the airport and boards the same plane she's on. In the air, several passengers and both pilots suffer severe food poisoning, leaving Stryker the only one on board with any flight experience, so he must get over his fear of flying and land the plane.
If that sounded at all familiar, it might be because Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker based the script for Airplane! on this movie. And not just the basic plot, probably half of all dialogue in Zero Hour! is either copied word-for-word or only slightly altered for Airplane!. As a big fan of the latter movie, it's quite a bizarre experience to not only watch this and hear so many of the classic joke setups without the punchline, but also realize several things I would've thought were ZAZ jokes were actually from the original.
It's a totally solid, entirely unremarkable 50's disaster movie with a pretty good supporting performance from Sterling Hayden.
It is striking how much of the overwrought comedy of Airplane! is already present in Zero Hour! (exclamation point there, too). I laughed a few times when I saw this a few years ago.
"Ted Stryker? Never heard of him. Thats not exactly true...WE WERE LIKE BROTHERS!". (note: this quote is actually from Airplane 2 but its delivery by Shatner makes me giggle EVERY time).
The fact that the Zuckers chose this route for Airplane is why it stands the test of time as the greatest parody ever made. Need an actual plot. Need to play it straight no matter how crazy the bits are. Having a cohesive plot but also the ability to parody a genre is even better.
'LOOK, UP IN THE SKY! IT'S A BIRD... IT'S A PLANE... NO! IT'S... 70's GEORGE KENNEDY??!!' QUADRILOGY! 057.- AIRPORT (1970, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Streaming on NETFLIX.
Ever wonder why ALL the 70's disaster movies start and prominently feature melodramatic plot lines and characters in emotional/marital turmoil that need to be sorted out as the titular disaster unfolds? Look no further than "Airport," both the Alex Haley 1968 novel (which I read a few times as a child) and this faithful 1970 movie adaptation, both monster hits in their respective time/media. They set a template that every disaster flick that decade followed slavishly. In the case of OG "Airport" there is one (the fictitious Lincoln Airport) whose functions and personnel are pushed to the limit during a severe snowstorm. The su!cide b0mber subplot doesn't appear until the end of the first act (it wasn't needed to engage me), and the third act balances the airborne danger with the emotional conflicts and duels of testy personalities clashing on how to do the right thing... for the safety of passengers and their crumbling marriages. This is the earliest 'G' rated movie I've seen in which pregnancy termination is openly discussed as a valid lifestyle choice.
Having so many characters and intersecting plot lines pushes "Airport's" running time to 137 min. Bloated, yes, but at least it features the titular location and characters working there that are absent from every other sequel that followed. πIn an all-star cast my favorites were Burt Lancaster and Dean Martin (alpha males constantly pushing each other's buttons), George Kennedy as ace engineer Joe Patroni (the only character to recur in the entire series), Jean Seberg as an airline executive that has an unrequited thing with Lancaster, Helen Hayes as the stowaway granny (complete with 60's sitcom music) and Van Heflin as would-be bomber D.O. Guerrero. The music is dated, the special effects mixed (real airplane footage looks great, but the flying miniatures are lame) and the direction flat, but I'd be lying if I said "Airport" didn't entertain me for most of its running time. Patience with slow, methodical pacing required. 3.5 CATHOLIC PRIESTS BITCH-SLAPPING PANICKY PASSENGERS (out of five).</b
[Here's where the review of "Airport 1975" would have gone... if I hadn't already used it for 'Linda Blair!' Day. Oops.π€¨ So, to pinch-hit on behalf of "Airport '75," here comes a review for the OTHER Charlton Heston/George Kennedy blockbuster disaster movie released in 1974.]
058.- EARTHQUAKE ('74, SHOUT! FACTORY BLU-RAY)
The epic that introduced 'Sensurround' to our kitschy movie vocabulary, "Earthquake" takes its sweet time (about 51 min.) setting up both 'the big one' and the army of stars/guest actors (Richard Roundtree, Barry Sullivan, Victoria Principal, Donald Moffat with normal eyebrows, etc.) in too many roles to list as regular Los Angeles residents going about their lives. Since Alex Haley was busy writing "Roots" it's Mario Puzo's turn to co-write the melodramatic plight of engineer Charlton Heston dealing with a nagging wife from hell (Ava Gardner), a domineering boss/father-in-law (Lorne Green with a mustache), and a widow with a kid (Geneviève Bujold and Tiger Williams, respectively) that go from friendly to new-family-in-the-making love affair in one morning. Then an orgy of model/miniature destruction and stunt work crashes in, with some special effects (Albert Whitlock's matte paintings) better than others (mirror reflections of glass building shaking), combined with "Star Trek" ship-under-fire acting.
George Kennedy stands out from the pack as an L.A.P.D. cop taking command when things turn sour and people act like cowards, especially looters and panicky demolition experts he has to push around to do the right thing. If you can tolerate stupid Hollywood storytelling tropes (why would a hospital designate emergency clinics in the basements of a badly damaged building? π€¨π«£) "Earthquake" is dumb, 70's disaster fun. 3.40 'WALTER MATUSCHANSKAYASKY' SPILLED DRINKS (out of five).
BONUS: 059.- EARTHQUAKE: TV CUT (1974/76, SHOUT! FACTORY BLU-RAY)
Included with the Blu-ray version of Shout! Factory's 2-disc set of "Earthquake" is an alternate TV cut of the movie that ran over two nights on NBC in 1976. Unlike Shout!'s TV version of the '76 remake of "King Kong" on Blu-ray that used the widescreen transfer of the theatrical cut, "Earthquake's" TV cut is the original 4x3 version with cuts and pans not in the theatrical. The extra 20+ minutes of added material mostly revolve around a newlywed married couple (Debra Lee Scott and her architect hubby) on a plane bound for LAX barely escaping fissures on the runway and then, while flying to Honolulu, debating whether to volunteer to help rebuild Los Angeles. We also get a few more scenes of creepy Jody (Marjoe Gortner) spying on Rosa (Victoria Principal) and, at the halfway mark, a recap of the first half of the movie for the start of night two on NBC. Most of the main plot and disaster sequences are intact, except for TV censorship cuts (Jody's bullies calling him a 'f@g,' glass on the face of a woman on the sidewalk, elevator blood splatter, etc.). A curio for hardcore "Earthquake" fans, but nothing that'd make any disaster fan pick the TV cut over the theatrical. 2.95 CLOSETS FULL OF YELLOW T-SHIRTS (out of five).
060.- AIRPORT '77 (1977, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Streaming on Netflix.
Or the one where a technologically advanced, luxurious new private airplane (that still looks like "Airport 1975's" 747 with a rushed paint job) carrying valuable artwork and VIP passengers, is lost in the Bermuda Triangle due to thieves trying to steal the expensive stuff. Jimmy Stewart (rich owner of the plane and its valuables), Jack Lemmon (pilot shouting loudly at everybody) and Christopher Lee (why was he on board? π€) are the biggest names that debase themselves for a studio paycheck. Lee Grant is insufferable as Karen (Christopher Lee's wife), a woman who doesn't give a s*** about anybody but herself. The last 30 minutes of "Airplane '77" are slow and insufferable as we watch (almost in real time) Coast Guard procedures on how to lift a sunken airliner to the surface with inflatable air balloons. It's like "Raise The Titanic," except with average miniature effects mixed with U.S. military people doing Universal a solid. George Kennedy's Patroni, unlike the previous two "Airport" films' deep involvement in the plot, is basically a glorified three-scene cameo. The poster for this movie is so much cooler than anything in it. π 2.40 DARRIN MCGAVINS LIMPING INTO/OUT OF A FLOODED FREEZER (out of five).
061.- THE CONCORDE... AIRPORT '79 (1979, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY)
The "Jaws The Revenge" of the "Airport" franchise, and the only entry in the series that (a) lost money at the box office and (b) Netflix didn't even bother to ask for its streaming rights. Like Patrick with the FTM social media movie festivals, Netflix knows what it's doing. πWe're down to French movie stars (Alain Delon and Sylvia Kristel) and TV-level talent (Robert Wagner, Charo, John Davidson, Jimmy J.J. Walker, etc.) headlining the picture. George Kennedy gets a bump from bit player in '77 to fifth-billed leading man as the American pilot of The Concorde. Patroni's scenes with Delon are goofy due to the latter hiring a pr0st!tute to show the former his genuine friendship gestures. WTF is wrong with French people? πA subplot involving a corrupt military weapons company targeting The Concorde for destruction due to a reporter onboard (Susan Blakely) having incriminating documents results in bad EFX work and some crazy shit (Patroni firing a flare outside the window... while The Concorde's at full speed! π), which only highlights how much like a made-for-TV movie this $14 million production comes across. 2.0 SYBIL DANNINGS PAYING THE BILLS BY KEEPING HER CLOTHES ON (out of five).
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 11! 062 & 063.- THE ANT AND THE AARDVARK: PILOT (3/5/1969, DVD) & HASTY BUT TASTY (3/6/1969, DVD). Available to stream on YOUTUBE and INTERNET ARCHIVE.
The last duo of new characters introduced in the OG run of "Pink Panther" cartoons, this one features the titular red ant with laid-back attitude and a blue aardvark with a thick Jewish accent. Since I saw these shorts in Spanish growing up, the first time I heard the actual English voices of Ant and Aardvark mixed with the catchy-as-hell, jazzy music score (particularly the theme song) I was floored how much better the dynamic between the characters (both voiced by John Byner) comes across. This is basically non-stop Road Runner vs. Coyote 'catch me if you can' gags, but the personalities of Ant and Aardvark give their 17 shorts a goofy personality all its own. Both the Pilot (set around a picnic Ant's trying to steal food from) and 'Hasty But Tasty' (Ant has a new bike he uses to try and get around Aardvark's traps) easily earn 4 LIGHT BULB CORDS IN UNKNOWN UNDERGROUND TRAIN TRACKS (out of five).
Like when Hogan fought Andre at Wrestlemania 3 you just couldn’t see how Godzilla was going to overcome the odds but you can never bet against the hero.
Meteor completely feels like the kind of movie that, back in the day, you would find on TV during a weekend afternoon to pass the time. When a collision with a comet sends a giant meteor hurtling toward Earth, it is up to a divided Cold War world to come together and defeat the threat. Starring Sean Connery and a cast of familiar faces, Meteor is not the best example of the 1970s wave of disaster films. I did have fun with it, though, particularly when the disaster sequences begin There are several types of disasters that are depicted. The special effects are charming in a retro way. You get to see the Twin Towers cinematically destroyed twenty-two years before they were in real life.
I somehow missed this Slater/Freeman actioner back in the day. A money transport guy, a band of thieves, and a local sheriff with his men are chasing after a shitload of money and each other in a small town that's getting obliterated by an epic flood. The movie must have been absolutely miserable to shoot for the actors who spend every minute competely drenched, but I'd say it was worth it for all the wet mayhem we get, with some top-notch underwater suspense and water destruction scenes. I always enjoy seeing Minnie Driver in a movie, so that was also a plus.
Things go wrong on a drilling rig, based on the 2010 real-world event. The action is fine. The explanation of the factors leading to the disaster and the subsequent problem-solving to prevent/fix/escape are a little vague, but hey, it's an action drama, not a documentary (now I kind of want to watch a documentary about it). The thing Deepwater Horizon does best is the vital factor for these kinds of movies: it quickly introduces a big cast of heroes (and a few villains) and gets you to like and care about (or hate) them in the first act so that when things go sideways later on, you're invested in what happens.
John Malkovich is a talented actor with many great performances in his filmography. I assume he really wanted to do a Cajun accent here, but it was very unsuccessful experiment. Then again, he's one of the villains, so for him to do something sort of ridiculous in the movie only works to turn the viewer against him.
Fire: Trapped on the 37th Floor (1991, dir. Robert Day)
TV movie based on a real life 1988 disaster where a fire broke out on the 12th floor of the First Interstate Tower in L.A. (the tallest building in the city at the time). It ended up engulfing multiple floors and there were real concerns that the fire could not be contained which would result in the building collapsing. Lee Majors stars as the Chief leading the heroic effort that ends up utilizing hundreds of firefighters. It's half firefighting procedural and half following two office workers who are trapped on the 37th floor. Unable to ascend or descend due to stairways being impassable, they slowly are dying from smoke inhalation. This was very well done and exciting and seemingly utilized actual footage of the real incident. It was pretty terrifying and intense. Highly recommended.
Following the success of other disaster flicks, this one brings together a bunch of celebrities and places them in harms way. The premise is pretty promising: a terrorist taking part in the bombing of a health organization is exposed to a super contagious deadly virus, his escape places him on a train of innocent people. Regrettably the execution is lame. They dont do much with the virus. Theres little disaster to be had until the final few minutes and its nothing more than a shaky came and poorly shot model train. If youre considering watching, id say wait for the next train.
The Texans at this drive in are watching “Disaster 76” which spoofs, MATINEE-style, all the disaster movies of that era and is just the back drop to a B-movie riff on American Graffiti. It would be worth it alone for the roller rink segment but it’s just a great time capsule for small town Texas in the 70s. I enjoyed this one a lot.
And it’s got an amazing country & western soundtrack.
And great lines:
“If only they’d had the pill when I was young.”
“Reasoning with a woman is like eating soup with a fork.”
“All I ever see is roamin’ hands and cold hearts.”
RED ALERT (1977) A nuclear plant goes haywire, threatening a meltdown with people trapped inside. Is it a computer glitch or a saboteur? This is a starring role for character actor William Devane, who plays a no-nonsense government agent investigating the crisis. There’s a ton of other side characters, many of whom have troubled backstories and their own smaller crises going on. And there are so many scenes of a character getting woken up from bed with a phone call about the crisis that it becomes unintentional comedy. Honestly, all I can think of is how this is yet another of the movies that Airplane parodied in 1980. Maybe we should all watch Airplane tonight.
30 days of fan films, day 11: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (2025) Rather than recreate a preexisting movie or stage version, writer/director Ben Fitton wanted his version to be as accurate as possible to Gaston Leroux’s original novel. Fitton rented an actual old-timey theater for his location, and then he filmed it in black and white for extra gothy-ness. Beyond that, there’s really nothing new here, and most (all?) of the dialogue is ADR, which is distracting. But familiarity breeds comfort, so I imagine some Phantom-heads might get a kick out of this.
Zero Hour! (1957, dir. Hall Bartlett)
ReplyDeleteIn the closing days of World War II, Canadian fighter pilot Ted Stryker (Dana Andrews) makes a decision that causes the deaths of six men in his squadron. Ten years later, he has a hard time holding down a job and his marriage is on the rocks. When his wife leaves him, he chases her into the airport and boards the same plane she's on. In the air, several passengers and both pilots suffer severe food poisoning, leaving Stryker the only one on board with any flight experience, so he must get over his fear of flying and land the plane.
If that sounded at all familiar, it might be because Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker based the script for Airplane! on this movie. And not just the basic plot, probably half of all dialogue in Zero Hour! is either copied word-for-word or only slightly altered for Airplane!. As a big fan of the latter movie, it's quite a bizarre experience to not only watch this and hear so many of the classic joke setups without the punchline, but also realize several things I would've thought were ZAZ jokes were actually from the original.
It's a totally solid, entirely unremarkable 50's disaster movie with a pretty good supporting performance from Sterling Hayden.
Oh, Lordy. Hall Bartlett later directed Jonathon Livingston Seagull.
DeleteIt is striking how much of the overwrought comedy of Airplane! is already present in Zero Hour! (exclamation point there, too). I laughed a few times when I saw this a few years ago.
DeleteTed Stryker? Isn't that... (gets to the second paragraph) Ahhh.
Delete-- 'Stryker? Stryker, Stryker, Stryker... STRYKER!'
Delete-- ¯\_(γ)_/¯ π’π€
-- 'Ted Stryker?'
π€£π€π
"Ted Stryker? Never heard of him. Thats not exactly true...WE WERE LIKE BROTHERS!". (note: this quote is actually from Airplane 2 but its delivery by Shatner makes me giggle EVERY time).
DeleteThe fact that the Zuckers chose this route for Airplane is why it stands the test of time as the greatest parody ever made. Need an actual plot. Need to play it straight no matter how crazy the bits are. Having a cohesive plot but also the ability to parody a genre is even better.
^^^ Beaten! π€¨π€π
ReplyDelete'LOOK, UP IN THE SKY! IT'S A BIRD... IT'S A PLANE... NO! IT'S... 70's GEORGE KENNEDY??!!' QUADRILOGY!
057.- AIRPORT (1970, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Streaming on NETFLIX.
Ever wonder why ALL the 70's disaster movies start and prominently feature melodramatic plot lines and characters in emotional/marital turmoil that need to be sorted out as the titular disaster unfolds? Look no further than "Airport," both the Alex Haley 1968 novel (which I read a few times as a child) and this faithful 1970 movie adaptation, both monster hits in their respective time/media. They set a template that every disaster flick that decade followed slavishly. In the case of OG "Airport" there is one (the fictitious Lincoln Airport) whose functions and personnel are pushed to the limit during a severe snowstorm. The su!cide b0mber subplot doesn't appear until the end of the first act (it wasn't needed to engage me), and the third act balances the airborne danger with the emotional conflicts and duels of testy personalities clashing on how to do the right thing... for the safety of passengers and their crumbling marriages. This is the earliest 'G' rated movie I've seen in which pregnancy termination is openly discussed as a valid lifestyle choice.
Having so many characters and intersecting plot lines pushes "Airport's" running time to 137 min. Bloated, yes, but at least it features the titular location and characters working there that are absent from every other sequel that followed. πIn an all-star cast my favorites were Burt Lancaster and Dean Martin (alpha males constantly pushing each other's buttons), George Kennedy as ace engineer Joe Patroni (the only character to recur in the entire series), Jean Seberg as an airline executive that has an unrequited thing with Lancaster, Helen Hayes as the stowaway granny (complete with 60's sitcom music) and Van Heflin as would-be bomber D.O. Guerrero. The music is dated, the special effects mixed (real airplane footage looks great, but the flying miniatures are lame) and the direction flat, but I'd be lying if I said "Airport" didn't entertain me for most of its running time. Patience with slow, methodical pacing required. 3.5 CATHOLIC PRIESTS BITCH-SLAPPING PANICKY PASSENGERS (out of five).</b
[Here's where the review of "Airport 1975" would have gone... if I hadn't already used it for 'Linda Blair!' Day. Oops.π€¨ So, to pinch-hit on behalf of "Airport '75," here comes a review for the OTHER Charlton Heston/George Kennedy blockbuster disaster movie released in 1974.]
ReplyDelete058.- EARTHQUAKE ('74, SHOUT! FACTORY BLU-RAY)
The epic that introduced 'Sensurround' to our kitschy movie vocabulary, "Earthquake" takes its sweet time (about 51 min.) setting up both 'the big one' and the army of stars/guest actors (Richard Roundtree, Barry Sullivan, Victoria Principal, Donald Moffat with normal eyebrows, etc.) in too many roles to list as regular Los Angeles residents going about their lives. Since Alex Haley was busy writing "Roots" it's Mario Puzo's turn to co-write the melodramatic plight of engineer Charlton Heston dealing with a nagging wife from hell (Ava Gardner), a domineering boss/father-in-law (Lorne Green with a mustache), and a widow with a kid (Geneviève Bujold and Tiger Williams, respectively) that go from friendly to new-family-in-the-making love affair in one morning. Then an orgy of model/miniature destruction and stunt work crashes in, with some special effects (Albert Whitlock's matte paintings) better than others (mirror reflections of glass building shaking), combined with "Star Trek" ship-under-fire acting.
George Kennedy stands out from the pack as an L.A.P.D. cop taking command when things turn sour and people act like cowards, especially looters and panicky demolition experts he has to push around to do the right thing. If you can tolerate stupid Hollywood storytelling tropes (why would a hospital designate emergency clinics in the basements of a badly damaged building? π€¨π«£) "Earthquake" is dumb, 70's disaster fun. 3.40 'WALTER MATUSCHANSKAYASKY' SPILLED DRINKS (out of five).
BONUS: 059.- EARTHQUAKE: TV CUT (1974/76, SHOUT! FACTORY BLU-RAY)
DeleteIncluded with the Blu-ray version of Shout! Factory's 2-disc set of "Earthquake" is an alternate TV cut of the movie that ran over two nights on NBC in 1976. Unlike Shout!'s TV version of the '76 remake of "King Kong" on Blu-ray that used the widescreen transfer of the theatrical cut, "Earthquake's" TV cut is the original 4x3 version with cuts and pans not in the theatrical. The extra 20+ minutes of added material mostly revolve around a newlywed married couple (Debra Lee Scott and her architect hubby) on a plane bound for LAX barely escaping fissures on the runway and then, while flying to Honolulu, debating whether to volunteer to help rebuild Los Angeles. We also get a few more scenes of creepy Jody (Marjoe Gortner) spying on Rosa (Victoria Principal) and, at the halfway mark, a recap of the first half of the movie for the start of night two on NBC. Most of the main plot and disaster sequences are intact, except for TV censorship cuts (Jody's bullies calling him a 'f@g,' glass on the face of a woman on the sidewalk, elevator blood splatter, etc.). A curio for hardcore "Earthquake" fans, but nothing that'd make any disaster fan pick the TV cut over the theatrical. 2.95 CLOSETS FULL OF YELLOW T-SHIRTS (out of five).
060.- AIRPORT '77 (1977, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Streaming on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteOr the one where a technologically advanced, luxurious new private airplane (that still looks like "Airport 1975's" 747 with a rushed paint job) carrying valuable artwork and VIP passengers, is lost in the Bermuda Triangle due to thieves trying to steal the expensive stuff. Jimmy Stewart (rich owner of the plane and its valuables), Jack Lemmon (pilot shouting loudly at everybody) and Christopher Lee (why was he on board? π€) are the biggest names that debase themselves for a studio paycheck. Lee Grant is insufferable as Karen (Christopher Lee's wife), a woman who doesn't give a s*** about anybody but herself. The last 30 minutes of "Airplane '77" are slow and insufferable as we watch (almost in real time) Coast Guard procedures on how to lift a sunken airliner to the surface with inflatable air balloons. It's like "Raise The Titanic," except with average miniature effects mixed with U.S. military people doing Universal a solid. George Kennedy's Patroni, unlike the previous two "Airport" films' deep involvement in the plot, is basically a glorified three-scene cameo. The poster for this movie is so much cooler than anything in it. π 2.40 DARRIN MCGAVINS LIMPING INTO/OUT OF A FLOODED FREEZER (out of five).
061.- THE CONCORDE... AIRPORT '79 (1979, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY)
ReplyDeleteThe "Jaws The Revenge" of the "Airport" franchise, and the only entry in the series that (a) lost money at the box office and (b) Netflix didn't even bother to ask for its streaming rights. Like Patrick with the FTM social media movie festivals, Netflix knows what it's doing. πWe're down to French movie stars (Alain Delon and Sylvia Kristel) and TV-level talent (Robert Wagner, Charo, John Davidson, Jimmy J.J. Walker, etc.) headlining the picture. George Kennedy gets a bump from bit player in '77 to fifth-billed leading man as the American pilot of The Concorde. Patroni's scenes with Delon are goofy due to the latter hiring a pr0st!tute to show the former his genuine friendship gestures. WTF is wrong with French people? πA subplot involving a corrupt military weapons company targeting The Concorde for destruction due to a reporter onboard (Susan Blakely) having incriminating documents results in bad EFX work and some crazy shit (Patroni firing a flare outside the window... while The Concorde's at full speed! π), which only highlights how much like a made-for-TV movie this $14 million production comes across. 2.0 SYBIL DANNINGS PAYING THE BILLS BY KEEPING HER CLOTHES ON (out of five).
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 11!
ReplyDelete062 & 063.- THE ANT AND THE AARDVARK: PILOT (3/5/1969, DVD) & HASTY BUT TASTY (3/6/1969, DVD). Available to stream on YOUTUBE and INTERNET ARCHIVE.
The last duo of new characters introduced in the OG run of "Pink Panther" cartoons, this one features the titular red ant with laid-back attitude and a blue aardvark with a thick Jewish accent. Since I saw these shorts in Spanish growing up, the first time I heard the actual English voices of Ant and Aardvark mixed with the catchy-as-hell, jazzy music score (particularly the theme song) I was floored how much better the dynamic between the characters (both voiced by John Byner) comes across. This is basically non-stop Road Runner vs. Coyote 'catch me if you can' gags, but the personalities of Ant and Aardvark give their 17 shorts a goofy personality all its own. Both the Pilot (set around a picnic Ant's trying to steal food from) and 'Hasty But Tasty' (Ant has a new bike he uses to try and get around Aardvark's traps) easily earn 4 LIGHT BULB CORDS IN UNKNOWN UNDERGROUND TRAIN TRACKS (out of five).
Godzilla v Mechagodzilla (1974) dir. Jun Fukuda
ReplyDeleteLike when Hogan fought Andre at Wrestlemania 3 you just couldn’t see how Godzilla was going to overcome the odds but you can never bet against the hero.
METEOR (1979, dir. Ronald Neame)
ReplyDeleteMeteor completely feels like the kind of movie that, back in the day, you would find on TV during a weekend afternoon to pass the time. When a collision with a comet sends a giant meteor hurtling toward Earth, it is up to a divided Cold War world to come together and defeat the threat. Starring Sean Connery and a cast of familiar faces, Meteor is not the best example of the 1970s wave of disaster films. I did have fun with it, though, particularly when the disaster sequences begin There are several types of disasters that are depicted. The special effects are charming in a retro way. You get to see the Twin Towers cinematically destroyed twenty-two years before they were in real life.
Ronald Neame also directed the original Poseidon Adventure!
DeleteHard Rain (1998)
ReplyDeleteI somehow missed this Slater/Freeman actioner back in the day. A money transport guy, a band of thieves, and a local sheriff with his men are chasing after a shitload of money and each other in a small town that's getting obliterated by an epic flood. The movie must have been absolutely miserable to shoot for the actors who spend every minute competely drenched, but I'd say it was worth it for all the wet mayhem we get, with some top-notch underwater suspense and water destruction scenes. I always enjoy seeing Minnie Driver in a movie, so that was also a plus.
Deepwater Horizon (2016)
ReplyDeleteThings go wrong on a drilling rig, based on the 2010 real-world event. The action is fine. The explanation of the factors leading to the disaster and the subsequent problem-solving to prevent/fix/escape are a little vague, but hey, it's an action drama, not a documentary (now I kind of want to watch a documentary about it). The thing Deepwater Horizon does best is the vital factor for these kinds of movies: it quickly introduces a big cast of heroes (and a few villains) and gets you to like and care about (or hate) them in the first act so that when things go sideways later on, you're invested in what happens.
John Malkovich is a talented actor with many great performances in his filmography. I assume he really wanted to do a Cajun accent here, but it was very unsuccessful experiment. Then again, he's one of the villains, so for him to do something sort of ridiculous in the movie only works to turn the viewer against him.
Fire: Trapped on the 37th Floor (1991, dir. Robert Day)
ReplyDeleteTV movie based on a real life 1988 disaster where a fire broke out on the 12th floor of the First Interstate Tower in L.A. (the tallest building in the city at the time). It ended up engulfing multiple floors and there were real concerns that the fire could not be contained which would result in the building collapsing. Lee Majors stars as the Chief leading the heroic effort that ends up utilizing hundreds of firefighters. It's half firefighting procedural and half following two office workers who are trapped on the 37th floor. Unable to ascend or descend due to stairways being impassable, they slowly are dying from smoke inhalation. This was very well done and exciting and seemingly utilized actual footage of the real incident. It was pretty terrifying and intense. Highly recommended.
The Cassandra Crossing (1974)
ReplyDeleteFollowing the success of other disaster flicks, this one brings together a bunch of celebrities and places them in harms way. The premise is pretty promising: a terrorist taking part in the bombing of a health organization is exposed to a super contagious deadly virus, his escape places him on a train of innocent people. Regrettably the execution is lame. They dont do much with the virus. Theres little disaster to be had until the final few minutes and its nothing more than a shaky came and poorly shot model train. If youre considering watching, id say wait for the next train.
DRIVE-IN (1976) dir. Rod Amateau
ReplyDeleteThe Texans at this drive in are watching “Disaster 76” which spoofs, MATINEE-style, all the disaster movies of that era and is just the back drop to a B-movie riff on American Graffiti. It would be worth it alone for the roller rink segment but it’s just a great time capsule for small town Texas in the 70s. I enjoyed this one a lot.
And it’s got an amazing country & western soundtrack.
And great lines:
“If only they’d had the pill when I was young.”
“Reasoning with a woman is like eating soup with a fork.”
“All I ever see is roamin’ hands and cold hearts.”
“Somebody’s gotta rebuild Rio.”
RED ALERT (1977)
ReplyDeleteA nuclear plant goes haywire, threatening a meltdown with people trapped inside. Is it a computer glitch or a saboteur? This is a starring role for character actor William Devane, who plays a no-nonsense government agent investigating the crisis. There’s a ton of other side characters, many of whom have troubled backstories and their own smaller crises going on. And there are so many scenes of a character getting woken up from bed with a phone call about the crisis that it becomes unintentional comedy. Honestly, all I can think of is how this is yet another of the movies that Airplane parodied in 1980. Maybe we should all watch Airplane tonight.
30 days of fan films, day 11: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (2025)
Rather than recreate a preexisting movie or stage version, writer/director Ben Fitton wanted his version to be as accurate as possible to Gaston Leroux’s original novel. Fitton rented an actual old-timey theater for his location, and then he filmed it in black and white for extra gothy-ness. Beyond that, there’s really nothing new here, and most (all?) of the dialogue is ADR, which is distracting. But familiarity breeds comfort, so I imagine some Phantom-heads might get a kick out of this.