'SLASHING THE 80'S SLASHER TEMPLATE' THREES0ME! 133.- SWEET SIXTEEN (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI.
You can tell early on (confirmed by the end) that the filmmakers behind "Sweet Sixteen" weren't used to making disposable horror pictures like the ones they were ripping off during the slasher boom of the 1980's. Camera work/lighting is too classy and professional, the cast of Hollywood veterans (Bo Hopkins, Susan Strasberg, Patrick Macnee) stand out too much from the B-movie veterans (Michael Pataki, Don Shanks, Larry Storch, "Friday the 13th Part III's" Dana Kimmell, etc.), and the pace/character focus is mostly on the grown-ups instead of the trying-to-get-laid youths that are usually the focus of an unknown killer's ire. That said Aleisa Shirley (who got an 'introducing' credit and an Italian-like theme song constantly reminding us of who she is! 🤔🫤) stands out as Mellissa, the new-in-a-small-Texas-town girl whom every boy that asks her out ends up murdered. Not only does she give us "Sweet Sixteen's" nudity quota, but her eyewitness testimony instigates r@cist blowback against the Native American characters by the town's a-hole rednecks (you rarely see a slasher confront racism head-on like Sheriff Burke does here). It's also fun to have the sheriff's teenage kids (particularly Kimmell's junior detective wannabe) be so involved. Botched final killer reveal notwithstanding, "SS" is a competent early 80's time capsule of the Gold Rush era of slasher-wannabes trying their best. 3.45 INDIAN BURIAL GROUND MAKE-OUT POINTS (out of five).
Once you've seen the unrated cut of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" (low-quality SD inserts of deleted footage notwithstanding) there's no going back to the theatrical version... except when Shout Factory makes a 4K remaster that only includes the 79 min. 'R' cut. 😡🤬Improved visual quality notwithstanding (those early 80's toys in the shelves at Ira's store and shag carpeting/wood panel walls at Linnea Quigley's home have never looked better), what stood out to me on this rewatch of "SN,DN" is how much of a heartfelt tragedy for the main protagonist's eventual descent into madness this would come across if better filmmakers had tackled the material. The 1971, 1974 and '10 Years Later' portions are like segments in a linked anthology, with each Billy (culminating in Robert Brian Wilson's grown-up version) the tragic victim of winding up victimized by either a drunk Santa hood (Charles Dierkop), an uncaring Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin, giving the best performance in the movie by far) or co-workers blind to Billy's Christmas Eve trauma. Alas, the potential for this premise hasn't even been reached by recent/newer remakes of "SN,DN." What chance did the '84 movie really have at greatness been helmed by the director of "Snowballers"? 😅😉3.75 SANTAS SUCKER-PUNCHED BY YOUNG BILLY'S HAYMAKER (out of five).
135.- SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY BLU-RAY). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, FAWESOME, PLUTO TV, PLEX, AMC+, ROKU CHANNEL.
Contrary to popular belief, the large portion of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" footage at the beginning of "Part 2" isn't a substitute for watching the 1984 version before tackling the sequel. Having just watched them back-to-back, "Part 2's" condensed version has no Will Hare as creepy catatonic grandpa (that alone makes a prequel rewatch mandatory), different music (much worse), a different naked couple for Billy to spy through the peephole (new chick's not as hot), and the violent/naughty bits (which were already 'R' safe) are cut even shorter. It does trim the fat, though, and makes for a nice summary of the main plot... but not a substitute, especially if you prefer the Unrated version like I do.
More importantly, the work-for-hire filmmakers of "Part 2" (establishing the pattern of different creative types going their own way with each subsequent "SN,DN" sequel) knew they had gold in Eric Freeman's performance. They constantly insert quick shots of Ricky's reactions to events he wasn't around to witness (like older bro Billy getting spanked by Mother Superior... or everything that happened at Ira's toy store or Billy's pre-orphanage killing spree). The faces Freeman makes during his interrogation by a reel-to-reel recording psychiatrist (James Newman) hint at the greatness to come when the second half of "Part 2" focuses on Billy's troubled upbringing. Going for comedy over pathos or true horror (even the younger actors playing Billy are in on the joke), the deaths are either inventive (umbrella through the body, running over would-be r@pist with his own car, battery current through exploding eyes, etc.) or simple in their practicality (strangled at a movie theater, gunned down, classic axe swing). And through it all is Eric Freeman, overacting up a storm and sacrificing a never-achievable acting career for the most glorious swinging-for-the-fences lead performance any low-budget 80's slasher could have ever asked for. 4.50 'GARBAGE DAY!' HOLLOW TRASH CANS (out of five).
136.- SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PEACOCK, PLUTO TV, PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI, FAWESOME.
Found out yesterday that later tonight (June 24th, 8:30pm ET) Jury Room 4.0's Discord watchalong movie of the week will be "Wet Hot American Summer." Every viewing of this in the past (two or three times) I've hated, but I'm willing to give it one more shot. So in preparation for "WHAS" I just rewatched Robert Hiltzik's opus to summer camp horror, which the former's heavily inspired by. "Sleepaway Camp" is the flick that brought me over to F This Movie in 2011 when I found out, through the old DVDVerdict.com home page, that there was a commentary track made for it. I had to listen to that, and I've been here ever since. 🙂The movie? Why, it's 5 PAIRS OF FELISSA ROSE'S EYES PENETRATING YOUR VERY SOUL (out of five). 😎👍
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 24! 137.- THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1983, DVD). Also streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO, ROKU TV, YOUTUBE.
I remember like it was yesterday my mother and her new boyfriend (much younger than her... go Mom! 😇) taking me to see this movie on opening night in an almost empty theater ('Uraya' was its name). I had a tape recorder, and I recorded about 10-12 minutes of audio from mostly the opening and closing credits. The Henry Mancini score for "Curse of the Pink Panther" is engraved in my memory from wearing down that cassette so much. I even remember liking the movie a lot despite the absence of Inspector Clouseau. Actually, Clouseau is in the movie... just played by body doubles and, at the very end, by "Turk Thrust II" (a giant-at-the-time movie star doing a cameo... look it up on IMDB) which blew my little 10-year-old mind. Even my seemingly desinterested mom and her boyfriend were like 'Hey, that's him!' 🥹😅
Alas, when rewatched by me as a 53-year-old, this 8th 'Pink Panther' movie is only a marginal improvement over the low point that "Trail of..." left the series at. Unknown to most people outside the Hollywood trade at the time, Blake Edwards made/shot both "Trail" and "Curse" movies simultaneously to keep costs down and have the same actors from one appear on the other. That's how we get Joanna Lumley, playing a French reporter in "Trail," appearing in "Curse" as an entirely new character (Countess Chandra). Big actors (David Niven, Capucine, Robert Wagner) and small ones in tiny roles (the American cab driver) return, mostly to continue the stolen diamond business from the prequel that was almost forgotten when Clouseau disappeared. NYPD Detective Clifton Sleigh (Ted Wass, TV's "Soap") is brought in from New York by an Interpol super-computer sabotaged by Dreyfus (Herbert Lom, better here than in "Trail") to find the worst possible detective to take on the Clouseau case. Edwards directs the hell out of the picture and has a few impressive set-pieces (the Valencia carnival parade of hitmen taking shots of Clifton, a car chase with a ticking bomb underneath Sleigh's cab, etc.) with some genuine laughs (umbrella open during a windy storm). Alas, Ted Wass is no Peter Sellers and "Turk Thrust II" is no Jacques Clouseau... but thanks for the old college try, guys. Leslie Ash almost steals the movie as a badass chick fighter fending off hitmen targeting Clifton Sleigh, like a proto-Paloma from that great action scene in 2021's "No Time To Die."
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 3.5 RUNAWAY QUARTERS TURNING INTO EYEGLASSES (out of five). The longest-running animated intro in the series (well over 5 minutes) despite having the fewest cast/crew names of any movie. The Panther goes to a 7-11 to pick a Pink Panther candy/ice cream, the first and only time an opening credit featured some sort of tie-in product. Though sparse, the 'inside the computer' portion of the intro has a very cool 'Tron' vibe.
MOVIE RATING: 2.75 LIFE-SAVING, EXPLODING INFLATABLE FEMALE DOLLS (out of five).
I can't recall if I had seen this before. I had the other three logged on Letterboxed but didn't remember much of this installment.
Kind of what everyone accuses Terrifier of being - non-existent plot to justify splatter scenes. I'm not complaining, though, as it works just fine and the practical effects are a hoot. We also get a genuine performance out of Tony Todd (is he even capable of phoning it in?) which is a plus.
A college class rent a train for their New Year's Eve costume party, but there's a killer on board targeting a group of students who were responsible for a prank gone wrong three years earlier.
A pretty typical slasher plot, silly final twist and all, but Spottiswoode gets a lot out of the unusual location, and of course Jamie Lee Curtis in a slasher is a slam dunk. To my surprise a young David Copperfield has a major role as a magician performing at the party.
The mask the villain steals from his first kill is referred to as Groucho Marx, but I think it looks more like Gene Shalit.
Sick (2022) I'm taking a cue from the Quentin Tarantino/Christopher Nolan non-linear playbook, and starting my comments on Slasher Day. I'm gonna try to catch up with the rest as I go.
With some newly acquired Peacock Access, I finally got to see Sick. So, at first, it played out for me like a by the numbers slasher, only set during COVID lockdown. It didn't start to really kick in for me until about 43 minutes in, and for an 83 minute movie (with credits), it felt like it was gettin' goin' way too late. And by this point, it started feeling less like a slasher, and more like... well, more like Mike Flanagan's Hush, honestly.
But it ALL turned around in the second half, and got, I thought, really fucking clever. And there's a scene in here that I'm almost positive Kevin Williamson reworked for a scene in Scream 7. Sick was a pleasant surprise, and a good start to Slasher Day.
I went in blind expecting this to be a throwback to 80s slashers. Also, given the fact that the killers mask is literally an oversized bowling ball bag, i thought maybe it'd be horror/comedy a-la Student Bodies. Turns out its neither. Its more of a super low budget, insanely poorly shot (feels like shot on vhs with no lighting and all closeups), incredibly crass attempt to up the typical slasher kills to some pretty vile levels. The inciting incident is a really horrific/long r@pe scene. The rest of the movie is insanely annoying characters being picked off. The killer does incorporate bowling alley setting/props for the kills however said kills mostly focus on the, ahem, "private parts" areas for shock value. I think the idea of a bowling alley killer was great, and appreciate the idea of boundary pushing deaths, but the direction/acting/execution/cinematography just sucked.
Last Night at Terrace Lanes, from Clown in a Cornfield’s Adam Cesare, is a much more entertaining (and less cruel) bowling-centered slasher if you’re into that kinda thing.
Now, if you’re like me, you spent the better part of the 80s and 90s digging through the bottom shelves of mom-and-pop video stores, looking for big, chunky VHS big-boxes with insane cover art. Back in ’84, you might have rented this one from Embassy Pictures under the name Delusion, or maybe you grabbed the UK import from Sultan Video called The House Where Death Lives. Either way, you were in for a trip.
Our story kicks off with Meredith Stone (Squirm herself, Patricia Pearcy), a nurse who takes a gig at the massive, spooky Fairlawn estate. Her patient? Ivar Langrock, a wealthy, elderly gentleman played by none other than classic Hollywood royalty Joseph Cotten! Seriously, seeing the guy from Citizen Kane and Shadow of a Doubt navigating a sleazy, early-80s regional psycho-slasher is worth the price of admission alone.
Meredith is barely through the door before she notices a locked room on the second floor. Naturally, she snoops and finds Wilfred, Ivar’s mentally challenged son, who is kept hidden away. But that’s just the tip of the dysfunctional family iceberg. Soon, Gabriel (John Dukakis), Ivar’s grandson who has been living on a hippie commune in Arizona, shows up, and that’s when the bodies start dropping.
First, the family dog is found hanging from a tree. Then Wilfred takes a fatal dive out of a window. Next, Phillip the butler gets absolutely pulverized in the wine cellar under a fallen wine rack and a sturdy table leg. When the estate gardener and a detective get brutally bludgeoned to death, too, attorney Jeffrey Fraser (David Hayward) starts pointing fingers.
Is it the creepy commune grandson? Is it a disgruntled employee? Or is Meredith’s own dark past—involving an institutionalized mother and a predatory father—bleeding into reality?
Back in 1981, critics like Arthur Cabasos of the Abilene Reporter-News absolutely hated this flick, calling it “one of those boring horror movies” where the killer couldn’t even find a cool weapon, opting instead for “a sturdy coffee table leg to the temple.“
Man, critics just didn’t get it, did they?
Delusion isn’t trying to be Friday the 13th or The Burning. It’s not an effects-heavy gore-fest. It’s an old-school, gothic whodunit wrapped in a sleazy slasher coat of paint. I mean, the poster art emulates the classic Charles Allan Gilbert All Is Vanity optical illusion! Cinematographer Stephen Posey fills the screen with dread, and composer Don Peake supplies a score that keeps you perpetually uneasy. Sure, it’s low-key. Sure, it’s a bit slow-moving. But the atmosphere is thick enough to cut with a knife (or, well, a table leg).
Look, if you need a body count every five minutes and teenagers getting decapitated in sleeping bags, Delusion might test your patience. But if you have a soft spot for regional Americana horror, gothic melodrama, and a psychological twist ending that completely flips the script on everything you just watched, this is for you.
Patricia Pearcy gives a wonderfully unhinged performance, Joseph Cotten brings that effortless class, and Alice Nunn (Large Marge from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure!) even shows up as Duffy! What more do you
DEAD KIDS aka STRANGE BEHAVIOR (1981) dir. Michael Laughlin
Set in small town Illinois. Filmed in Auckland, New Zealand (the 1st Kiwi horror movie). Co-written by future Oscar winner Bill Condon. Score by Tangerine Dream. Directed by the producer of Two-Lane Blacktop. Marty McFly’s brother!
This film is shaggy, but that only adds to its charm. Creepy killings. Unknown motives. High school and college kids who feel really real, especially at the costume party. Amazing laboratory sets. Gorgeous photography. Maybe the best thing I’ve seen this month.
Terror at Tenkiller (1986) Cheap, fun, low-low budget cheez and sleaze!
I've tried to see Terror at Tenkiller multiple times. I believe Heath Holland has sung its praises, and a guest on the podcast (I can't remember your name, I'm sorry!) recommended it. Thanks, guys.
The performances are rough, sure, but this is an '80s drive-in movie, so I cut it some slack. Besides, rough performances can add to the sleaze factor if the sleaziness of a horror movie is already working in the film's best interest, and it works here. The film built up a rhythm where everything just worked for the kind of movie it is.
Our lead, Leslie, on the outs with her boyfriend, narrates the movie at points throughout. It's like if Alabama Worley was telling us about the horror movie she lived through before she met Clarence in True Romance.
She goes out to a lake house, overlooking Lake Tenkiller (in the town of Gore! no, seriously). Lake Tenkiller just happens to be where a killer likes to dump his bodies, and the movie doesn't even wait long before we know who he is. This actually works for the movie, because now that we know who it is, once he starts interacting with Leslie and Janna, it's a waiting game to see how long it takes before he snaps. And since this is s a slasher film with a limited (but effective) body count, there's a point when just ONE specific kill is all it's gonna take before Leslie is going to have to deal with this guy.
RETURN TO SLEEPAWAY CAMP (2008) The creator of the original Sleepaway Camp, Robert Hiltzig, comes back for this one, ignoring all the previous sequels. Good lord, what an angry, ugly, vile, and mean-spirited movie! The whole thing is just characters yelling foulmouthed insults at each other. There are only a few kills, and they’re unimaginative. But that leaves room for more outraged shouting. And do I dare suggest the final twist is perhaps somewhat obvious? The first Sleepaway Camp made you want a shower, but this one makes you want therapy.
30 days of fan films, day 24: SILENTVISION (2021) The X-Files’ own Mulder and Scully investigate strange goings-on in a small town, eventually wandering into another franchise. This is what a lot of people think fan films are, extremely amateur and groaningly low budget. (Mulder and Scully go to what’s supposed to be a diner, and it’s just the kitchen in somebody’s house.) The audio is very rough, almost impossible to make out the dialogue at times. But then, there are fleeting moments where the filmmakers make this work, notably an effective scare moment when Scully confronts a mystery man in the woods. Amateur doesn’t have to be that bad, I guess.
Equal parts pastiche and straight slasher, with a mostly goofy tone and red herrings galore - if you squint a little (or a lot), you could actually see it as a bit of a precursor to Scream. It's also extremely horny, at times almost uncomfortably so, but what can you do. Of course the movie's most notable for having Brad Pitt in a very early role, and it's interesting to watch this unpolished version of him overpower everyone around with the sheer energy he pours into his acting. Other than that, Jill Schoelen is a very likable lead, and the shop class finale is a lot of fun. Recommended for a not-too-discerning slasher fan.
I will readily admit that I never watched or enjoyed horror movies before becoming a part of the F This Movie community. As a result, I have a lot of catching up to do, and this was a first watch. I've seen a few movies later on in the franchise, and I knew going in that Jason was not the killer in the first movie, and this was his introduction. I did not, however, know that the iconic hockey mask does not make an appearance and I now feel betrayed. This is, essentially, a story about college kids getting together and having sex, and Jason Voorhees ruining everyone's good time.
Cheerleader Camp (1988) Perfectly watchable mid-tier slasher for five very good reasons: Betsy Russell, Lucinda Dickey, Lorie Griffin, George "Buck" Flower, and Lief Garrett. Okay, maybe four reasons.
George "Buck" Flower was my favorite part of the film. He made me laugh when he was on-screen. The rest of the cast is not bad, but the script does not give them much to do.
Same old story, a group of rowdy teenagers go camping in the woods, the woods are haunted by the ancient spirit of a Viking (who clearly had access to a Nautilus machine and possibly a Stairmaster) decked out in a bear pelt. Also possibly an actual bear. Either way, lots of clawing ensues.
The kids aren’t too over-the-top obnoxious, and George “Buck” Flower (now there’s a dude who needs his own Junesploitation day!) shows up as a guy named Pappy so it’s definitely watchable. The killings are all pretty same-y (with terrible stage blood straight from the Smuckers factory), but there’s a scuffle with a real bear that’s pretty thrilling, assuming nobody actually got mauled shooting it. Fun stuff!
A standard scenario of a maniac killing youths one at a time, but in a supermarket here. Sure there are a few dumb decisions by the victims... But overall the performances are decent, there are some unexpected funny parts, and the camerawork is interesting and clever at times. Not bad!
One of the slasher entries that I enjoyed a few years ago. The supermarket environment is used effectively, and I did not dislike the characters. As you stated, the film is shot in an engaging way.
Cut (2000) Aussie slasher where a bunch of film students elect to complete an unfinished, cursed slasher film for their thesis project, along with the actress (Molly Ringwald) who played the final girl in the original attempt. It's got its tongue tucked firmly in cheek. Stricken with mostly bad reviews, I think it's a smidgen more entertaining than its reputation implies.
Perhaps the most apt summation of this film is uttered by its copper character Captain Stark (Edward Rohm, of the vansploitation classic CB HUSTLERS—Google it, freaks): "One thing I know for sure, whoever did this is weird. Not just sick, but a real weirdo."
A geeky gardener transforms into a swinging slayer in this proto-slasher and PSYCHO-influenced tale of dissociative identity: THE LOVE BUTCHER holds a (plastic prop) knife to the throat while keeping its tongue in its cheek. Dig the duel-roled, outlandishly over-the-top performance of James Lemp as the landscaper/lifetaker! Groove to the garish ‘70s garb! And get your mind blown by the outta-this-world dialog Lemp lays down: "You emasculate a man with your bottomless body pits" and “Fill me with nymph0id satisfaction!" There’re also a couple killer twists that pack a real punch and that’ll have yer guts a-turnin’!
I’ve heard that Lux Interior of The Cramps loved this flick, and I gotta say, I’m right there with him. Then again, I’m a real weirdo.
Beth is the new girl in the sorority, but not the new girl in the house. Turns out she was there as a child when a killer murdered her whole family and formed a psychic bond with our only little survivor. Now that she's back in the house, the killer breaks out of the local asylum and heads to the Sorority house to finish the job. Not a classic but the cast is generally likable and the film has its moments. The Teepee scene is a standout. Simply because it takes place in a teepee.
Most slashers build dread before each kill. They spend time getting you to like (or hate) the characters so you have some kind of investment in their eventual death. They make you worry about every door that's opened or corner that's walked past until, wham, chop, stabbo, Susie Q bites the dust. Dread released, start again with the next poor victim. Black Christmas engages in some of this standard pre-kill dread (albeit very methodically), but it also engages in a more unique brand of post-kill dread. You spend almost no time with the first victim before she's bumped off, but then, because her death isn't immediately discovered (only her disappearance), you spend all this time meeting her dad, meeting her boyfriend, and hanging out with her sorority sisters. They're the ones who tell you how great the victim is, and I found myself feeling more and more sorry for all of them, and wishing they could just figure out that she's dead so they could stop searching and wondering. It's a pretty cool trick.
Another fun quirk of the movie is that nobody's really running from the killer, because nobody ever knows where the hell he is, which is inside the house with them the whole time! I'm not 100% sure, but I assume this is where the classic "The call is coming from inside the house" trope originated. And as much as that phrase has been reduced to a joke, when the line is uttered in this movie (after a tense scene with the phone company guy running around looking at 1970s phone line network switch-y stuff) the line actually lands effectively!
The movie does a good job building suspense through staging and has some pretty thoughtful shot composition. The kills are more artful than gory, typically cutting away just before a stab lands, but they're well edited and still feel like they carry an impact. Many slashers are so formulaic that they're fun without actually being scary. Black Christmas is actually pretty scary!
I'm making it sound like some kind of art movie, but the serious bits are well balanced with humor. Mrs. MacHenry, the house mother, is a fun character, and Margot Kidder gives a really good performance as a persistently drunk shitheel.
I didn't quite fall fully in love with it on this first viewing, but I liked it quite a bit, and I can absolutely see why it's considered a classic of the genre.
A comedic slasher I heard about on Pure Cinema at some point. A work group on a corporate retreat find themselves in the turf of people who want to hunt them down.
The humor is pretty deadpan and I definitely had some laughs. The horror was funny a couple of times, and some other times just fairly gory. Overall, pretty decent quality.
Directed by Umberto Lenzi, this is borrowing a lot from the giallo genre, while also trying to be a "spring break teen party movie". The mix of tones doesn't completely work, but it was okay. There are so many weird shots of the beach in this. Some completely packed with people, but curiously, others with the whole beach side completely packed with RV campers and cars, with people sunbathing further away from the water, their access to the water completely blocked. There's another shot where there's a line of cars, tightly packed fender to fender, blocking the people from the water.
'SLASHING THE 80'S SLASHER TEMPLATE' THREES0ME!
ReplyDelete133.- SWEET SIXTEEN (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI.
You can tell early on (confirmed by the end) that the filmmakers behind "Sweet Sixteen" weren't used to making disposable horror pictures like the ones they were ripping off during the slasher boom of the 1980's. Camera work/lighting is too classy and professional, the cast of Hollywood veterans (Bo Hopkins, Susan Strasberg, Patrick Macnee) stand out too much from the B-movie veterans (Michael Pataki, Don Shanks, Larry Storch, "Friday the 13th Part III's" Dana Kimmell, etc.), and the pace/character focus is mostly on the grown-ups instead of the trying-to-get-laid youths that are usually the focus of an unknown killer's ire. That said Aleisa Shirley (who got an 'introducing' credit and an Italian-like theme song constantly reminding us of who she is! 🤔🫤) stands out as Mellissa, the new-in-a-small-Texas-town girl whom every boy that asks her out ends up murdered. Not only does she give us "Sweet Sixteen's" nudity quota, but her eyewitness testimony instigates r@cist blowback against the Native American characters by the town's a-hole rednecks (you rarely see a slasher confront racism head-on like Sheriff Burke does here). It's also fun to have the sheriff's teenage kids (particularly Kimmell's junior detective wannabe) be so involved. Botched final killer reveal notwithstanding, "SS" is a competent early 80's time capsule of the Gold Rush era of slasher-wannabes trying their best. 3.45 INDIAN BURIAL GROUND MAKE-OUT POINTS (out of five).
134.- SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT: THEATRICAL CUT (1984, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO TV, ROKU CHANNEL, PLEX, AMC+.
ReplyDeleteOnce you've seen the unrated cut of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" (low-quality SD inserts of deleted footage notwithstanding) there's no going back to the theatrical version... except when Shout Factory makes a 4K remaster that only includes the 79 min. 'R' cut. 😡🤬Improved visual quality notwithstanding (those early 80's toys in the shelves at Ira's store and shag carpeting/wood panel walls at Linnea Quigley's home have never looked better), what stood out to me on this rewatch of "SN,DN" is how much of a heartfelt tragedy for the main protagonist's eventual descent into madness this would come across if better filmmakers had tackled the material. The 1971, 1974 and '10 Years Later' portions are like segments in a linked anthology, with each Billy (culminating in Robert Brian Wilson's grown-up version) the tragic victim of winding up victimized by either a drunk Santa hood (Charles Dierkop), an uncaring Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin, giving the best performance in the movie by far) or co-workers blind to Billy's Christmas Eve trauma. Alas, the potential for this premise hasn't even been reached by recent/newer remakes of "SN,DN." What chance did the '84 movie really have at greatness been helmed by the director of "Snowballers"? 😅😉3.75 SANTAS SUCKER-PUNCHED BY YOUNG BILLY'S HAYMAKER (out of five).
135.- SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY BLU-RAY). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, FAWESOME, PLUTO TV, PLEX, AMC+, ROKU CHANNEL.
ReplyDeleteContrary to popular belief, the large portion of OG "Silent Night, Deadly Night" footage at the beginning of "Part 2" isn't a substitute for watching the 1984 version before tackling the sequel. Having just watched them back-to-back, "Part 2's" condensed version has no Will Hare as creepy catatonic grandpa (that alone makes a prequel rewatch mandatory), different music (much worse), a different naked couple for Billy to spy through the peephole (new chick's not as hot), and the violent/naughty bits (which were already 'R' safe) are cut even shorter. It does trim the fat, though, and makes for a nice summary of the main plot... but not a substitute, especially if you prefer the Unrated version like I do.
More importantly, the work-for-hire filmmakers of "Part 2" (establishing the pattern of different creative types going their own way with each subsequent "SN,DN" sequel) knew they had gold in Eric Freeman's performance. They constantly insert quick shots of Ricky's reactions to events he wasn't around to witness (like older bro Billy getting spanked by Mother Superior... or everything that happened at Ira's toy store or Billy's pre-orphanage killing spree). The faces Freeman makes during his interrogation by a reel-to-reel recording psychiatrist (James Newman) hint at the greatness to come when the second half of "Part 2" focuses on Billy's troubled upbringing. Going for comedy over pathos or true horror (even the younger actors playing Billy are in on the joke), the deaths are either inventive (umbrella through the body, running over would-be r@pist with his own car, battery current through exploding eyes, etc.) or simple in their practicality (strangled at a movie theater, gunned down, classic axe swing). And through it all is Eric Freeman, overacting up a storm and sacrificing a never-achievable acting career for the most glorious swinging-for-the-fences lead performance any low-budget 80's slasher could have ever asked for. 4.50 'GARBAGE DAY!' HOLLOW TRASH CANS (out of five).
RICKY'S troubled upbringing, not Billy's! 🙄🤨
DeleteGARBAGE DAY!
Delete136.- SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on PEACOCK, PLUTO TV, PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI, FAWESOME.
ReplyDeleteFound out yesterday that later tonight (June 24th, 8:30pm ET) Jury Room 4.0's Discord watchalong movie of the week will be "Wet Hot American Summer." Every viewing of this in the past (two or three times) I've hated, but I'm willing to give it one more shot. So in preparation for "WHAS" I just rewatched Robert Hiltzik's opus to summer camp horror, which the former's heavily inspired by. "Sleepaway Camp" is the flick that brought me over to F This Movie in 2011 when I found out, through the old DVDVerdict.com home page, that there was a commentary track made for it. I had to listen to that, and I've been here ever since. 🙂The movie? Why, it's 5 PAIRS OF FELISSA ROSE'S EYES PENETRATING YOUR VERY SOUL (out of five). 😎👍
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 24!
ReplyDelete137.- THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1983, DVD). Also streaming on AMAZON PRIME, TUBI, PLUTO, ROKU TV, YOUTUBE.
I remember like it was yesterday my mother and her new boyfriend (much younger than her... go Mom! 😇) taking me to see this movie on opening night in an almost empty theater ('Uraya' was its name). I had a tape recorder, and I recorded about 10-12 minutes of audio from mostly the opening and closing credits. The Henry Mancini score for "Curse of the Pink Panther" is engraved in my memory from wearing down that cassette so much. I even remember liking the movie a lot despite the absence of Inspector Clouseau. Actually, Clouseau is in the movie... just played by body doubles and, at the very end, by "Turk Thrust II" (a giant-at-the-time movie star doing a cameo... look it up on IMDB) which blew my little 10-year-old mind. Even my seemingly desinterested mom and her boyfriend were like 'Hey, that's him!' 🥹😅
Alas, when rewatched by me as a 53-year-old, this 8th 'Pink Panther' movie is only a marginal improvement over the low point that "Trail of..." left the series at. Unknown to most people outside the Hollywood trade at the time, Blake Edwards made/shot both "Trail" and "Curse" movies simultaneously to keep costs down and have the same actors from one appear on the other. That's how we get Joanna Lumley, playing a French reporter in "Trail," appearing in "Curse" as an entirely new character (Countess Chandra). Big actors (David Niven, Capucine, Robert Wagner) and small ones in tiny roles (the American cab driver) return, mostly to continue the stolen diamond business from the prequel that was almost forgotten when Clouseau disappeared. NYPD Detective Clifton Sleigh (Ted Wass, TV's "Soap") is brought in from New York by an Interpol super-computer sabotaged by Dreyfus (Herbert Lom, better here than in "Trail") to find the worst possible detective to take on the Clouseau case. Edwards directs the hell out of the picture and has a few impressive set-pieces (the Valencia carnival parade of hitmen taking shots of Clifton, a car chase with a ticking bomb underneath Sleigh's cab, etc.) with some genuine laughs (umbrella open during a windy storm). Alas, Ted Wass is no Peter Sellers and "Turk Thrust II" is no Jacques Clouseau... but thanks for the old college try, guys. Leslie Ash almost steals the movie as a badass chick fighter fending off hitmen targeting Clifton Sleigh, like a proto-Paloma from that great action scene in 2021's "No Time To Die."
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 3.5 RUNAWAY QUARTERS TURNING INTO EYEGLASSES (out of five). The longest-running animated intro in the series (well over 5 minutes) despite having the fewest cast/crew names of any movie. The Panther goes to a 7-11 to pick a Pink Panther candy/ice cream, the first and only time an opening credit featured some sort of tie-in product. Though sparse, the 'inside the computer' portion of the intro has a very cool 'Tron' vibe.
MOVIE RATING: 2.75 LIFE-SAVING, EXPLODING INFLATABLE FEMALE DOLLS (out of five).
Hatchet 2 (2010)
ReplyDeleteI can't recall if I had seen this before. I had the other three logged on Letterboxed but didn't remember much of this installment.
Kind of what everyone accuses Terrifier of being - non-existent plot to justify splatter scenes. I'm not complaining, though, as it works just fine and the practical effects are a hoot. We also get a genuine performance out of Tony Todd (is he even capable of phoning it in?) which is a plus.
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ReplyDeleteTerror Train (1980, dir. Roger Spottiswoode)
ReplyDeleteA college class rent a train for their New Year's Eve costume party, but there's a killer on board targeting a group of students who were responsible for a prank gone wrong three years earlier.
A pretty typical slasher plot, silly final twist and all, but Spottiswoode gets a lot out of the unusual location, and of course Jamie Lee Curtis in a slasher is a slam dunk. To my surprise a young David Copperfield has a major role as a magician performing at the party.
The mask the villain steals from his first kill is referred to as Groucho Marx, but I think it looks more like Gene Shalit.
Sick (2022)
ReplyDeleteI'm taking a cue from the Quentin Tarantino/Christopher Nolan non-linear playbook, and starting my comments on Slasher Day. I'm gonna try to catch up with the rest as I go.
With some newly acquired Peacock Access, I finally got to see Sick. So, at first, it played out for me like a by the numbers slasher, only set during COVID lockdown. It didn't start to really kick in for me until about 43 minutes in, and for an 83 minute movie (with credits), it felt like it was gettin' goin' way too late. And by this point, it started feeling less like a slasher, and more like... well, more like Mike Flanagan's Hush, honestly.
But it ALL turned around in the second half, and got, I thought, really fucking clever. And there's a scene in here that I'm almost positive Kevin Williamson reworked for a scene in Scream 7. Sick was a pleasant surprise, and a good start to Slasher Day.
Gutterballs (2008)
ReplyDeleteI went in blind expecting this to be a throwback to 80s slashers. Also, given the fact that the killers mask is literally an oversized bowling ball bag, i thought maybe it'd be horror/comedy a-la Student Bodies. Turns out its neither. Its more of a super low budget, insanely poorly shot (feels like shot on vhs with no lighting and all closeups), incredibly crass attempt to up the typical slasher kills to some pretty vile levels. The inciting incident is a really horrific/long r@pe scene. The rest of the movie is insanely annoying characters being picked off. The killer does incorporate bowling alley setting/props for the kills however said kills mostly focus on the, ahem, "private parts" areas for shock value. I think the idea of a bowling alley killer was great, and appreciate the idea of boundary pushing deaths, but the direction/acting/execution/cinematography just sucked.
Last Night at Terrace Lanes, from Clown in a Cornfield’s Adam Cesare, is a much more entertaining (and less cruel) bowling-centered slasher if you’re into that kinda thing.
DeleteDelusion (1981)
ReplyDeleteNow, if you’re like me, you spent the better part of the 80s and 90s digging through the bottom shelves of mom-and-pop video stores, looking for big, chunky VHS big-boxes with insane cover art. Back in ’84, you might have rented this one from Embassy Pictures under the name Delusion, or maybe you grabbed the UK import from Sultan Video called The House Where Death Lives. Either way, you were in for a trip.
Our story kicks off with Meredith Stone (Squirm herself, Patricia Pearcy), a nurse who takes a gig at the massive, spooky Fairlawn estate. Her patient? Ivar Langrock, a wealthy, elderly gentleman played by none other than classic Hollywood royalty Joseph Cotten! Seriously, seeing the guy from Citizen Kane and Shadow of a Doubt navigating a sleazy, early-80s regional psycho-slasher is worth the price of admission alone.
Meredith is barely through the door before she notices a locked room on the second floor. Naturally, she snoops and finds Wilfred, Ivar’s mentally challenged son, who is kept hidden away. But that’s just the tip of the dysfunctional family iceberg. Soon, Gabriel (John Dukakis), Ivar’s grandson who has been living on a hippie commune in Arizona, shows up, and that’s when the bodies start dropping.
First, the family dog is found hanging from a tree. Then Wilfred takes a fatal dive out of a window. Next, Phillip the butler gets absolutely pulverized in the wine cellar under a fallen wine rack and a sturdy table leg. When the estate gardener and a detective get brutally bludgeoned to death, too, attorney Jeffrey Fraser (David Hayward) starts pointing fingers.
Is it the creepy commune grandson? Is it a disgruntled employee? Or is Meredith’s own dark past—involving an institutionalized mother and a predatory father—bleeding into reality?
Back in 1981, critics like Arthur Cabasos of the Abilene Reporter-News absolutely hated this flick, calling it “one of those boring horror movies” where the killer couldn’t even find a cool weapon, opting instead for “a sturdy coffee table leg to the temple.“
Man, critics just didn’t get it, did they?
Delusion isn’t trying to be Friday the 13th or The Burning. It’s not an effects-heavy gore-fest. It’s an old-school, gothic whodunit wrapped in a sleazy slasher coat of paint. I mean, the poster art emulates the classic Charles Allan Gilbert All Is Vanity optical illusion! Cinematographer Stephen Posey fills the screen with dread, and composer Don Peake supplies a score that keeps you perpetually uneasy. Sure, it’s low-key. Sure, it’s a bit slow-moving. But the atmosphere is thick enough to cut with a knife (or, well, a table leg).
Look, if you need a body count every five minutes and teenagers getting decapitated in sleeping bags, Delusion might test your patience. But if you have a soft spot for regional Americana horror, gothic melodrama, and a psychological twist ending that completely flips the script on everything you just watched, this is for you.
Patricia Pearcy gives a wonderfully unhinged performance, Joseph Cotten brings that effortless class, and Alice Nunn (Large Marge from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure!) even shows up as Duffy! What more do you
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ReplyDeleteDEAD KIDS aka STRANGE BEHAVIOR (1981) dir. Michael Laughlin
ReplyDeleteSet in small town Illinois. Filmed in Auckland, New Zealand (the 1st Kiwi horror movie). Co-written by future Oscar winner Bill Condon. Score by Tangerine Dream. Directed by the producer of Two-Lane Blacktop. Marty McFly’s brother!
This film is shaggy, but that only adds to its charm. Creepy killings. Unknown motives. High school and college kids who feel really real, especially at the costume party. Amazing laboratory sets. Gorgeous photography. Maybe the best thing I’ve seen this month.
Terror at Tenkiller (1986)
ReplyDeleteCheap, fun, low-low budget cheez and sleaze!
I've tried to see Terror at Tenkiller multiple times. I believe Heath Holland has sung its praises, and a guest on the podcast (I can't remember your name, I'm sorry!) recommended it. Thanks, guys.
The performances are rough, sure, but this is an '80s drive-in movie, so I cut it some slack. Besides, rough performances can add to the sleaze factor if the sleaziness of a horror movie is already working in the film's best interest, and it works here. The film built up a rhythm where everything just worked for the kind of movie it is.
Our lead, Leslie, on the outs with her boyfriend, narrates the movie at points throughout. It's like if Alabama Worley was telling us about the horror movie she lived through before she met Clarence in True Romance.
She goes out to a lake house, overlooking Lake Tenkiller (in the town of Gore! no, seriously). Lake Tenkiller just happens to be where a killer likes to dump his bodies, and the movie doesn't even wait long before we know who he is. This actually works for the movie, because now that we know who it is, once he starts interacting with Leslie and Janna, it's a waiting game to see how long it takes before he snaps. And since this is s a slasher film with a limited (but effective) body count, there's a point when just ONE specific kill is all it's gonna take before Leslie is going to have to deal with this guy.
RETURN TO SLEEPAWAY CAMP (2008)
ReplyDeleteThe creator of the original Sleepaway Camp, Robert Hiltzig, comes back for this one, ignoring all the previous sequels. Good lord, what an angry, ugly, vile, and mean-spirited movie! The whole thing is just characters yelling foulmouthed insults at each other. There are only a few kills, and they’re unimaginative. But that leaves room for more outraged shouting. And do I dare suggest the final twist is perhaps somewhat obvious? The first Sleepaway Camp made you want a shower, but this one makes you want therapy.
30 days of fan films, day 24: SILENTVISION (2021)
The X-Files’ own Mulder and Scully investigate strange goings-on in a small town, eventually wandering into another franchise. This is what a lot of people think fan films are, extremely amateur and groaningly low budget. (Mulder and Scully go to what’s supposed to be a diner, and it’s just the kitchen in somebody’s house.) The audio is very rough, almost impossible to make out the dialogue at times. But then, there are fleeting moments where the filmmakers make this work, notably an effective scare moment when Scully confronts a mystery man in the woods. Amateur doesn’t have to be that bad, I guess.
Cutting Class (1989)
ReplyDeleteEqual parts pastiche and straight slasher, with a mostly goofy tone and red herrings galore - if you squint a little (or a lot), you could actually see it as a bit of a precursor to Scream. It's also extremely horny, at times almost uncomfortably so, but what can you do. Of course the movie's most notable for having Brad Pitt in a very early role, and it's interesting to watch this unpolished version of him overpower everyone around with the sheer energy he pours into his acting. Other than that, Jill Schoelen is a very likable lead, and the shop class finale is a lot of fun. Recommended for a not-too-discerning slasher fan.
Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)
ReplyDeleteI will readily admit that I never watched or enjoyed horror movies before becoming a part of the F This Movie community. As a result, I have a lot of catching up to do, and this was a first watch. I've seen a few movies later on in the franchise, and I knew going in that Jason was not the killer in the first movie, and this was his introduction. I did not, however, know that the iconic hockey mask does not make an appearance and I now feel betrayed. This is, essentially, a story about college kids getting together and having sex, and Jason Voorhees ruining everyone's good time.
Cheerleader Camp (1988)
ReplyDeletePerfectly watchable mid-tier slasher for five very good reasons: Betsy Russell, Lucinda Dickey, Lorie Griffin, George "Buck" Flower, and Lief Garrett. Okay, maybe four reasons.
My watch today as well.
DeleteGeorge "Buck" Flower was my favorite part of the film. He made me laugh when he was on-screen. The rest of the cast is not bad, but the script does not give them much to do.
Berserker
ReplyDeleteSame old story, a group of rowdy teenagers go camping in the woods, the woods are haunted by the ancient spirit of a Viking (who clearly had access to a Nautilus machine and possibly a Stairmaster) decked out in a bear pelt. Also possibly an actual bear. Either way, lots of clawing ensues.
The kids aren’t too over-the-top obnoxious, and George “Buck” Flower (now there’s a dude who needs his own Junesploitation day!) shows up as a guy named Pappy so it’s definitely watchable. The killings are all pretty same-y (with terrible stage blood straight from the Smuckers factory), but there’s a scuffle with a real bear that’s pretty thrilling, assuming nobody actually got mauled shooting it. Fun stuff!
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ReplyDeleteUrban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005)
ReplyDeleteMary Lambert, Michael Dougherty, and Dan Harris are definitely fans of Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II.
Intruder (1989, dir. Scott Spiegel)
ReplyDeleteA standard scenario of a maniac killing youths one at a time, but in a supermarket here. Sure there are a few dumb decisions by the victims... But overall the performances are decent, there are some unexpected funny parts, and the camerawork is interesting and clever at times. Not bad!
One of the slasher entries that I enjoyed a few years ago. The supermarket environment is used effectively, and I did not dislike the characters. As you stated, the film is shot in an engaging way.
DeleteCut (2000)
ReplyDeleteAussie slasher where a bunch of film students elect to complete an unfinished, cursed slasher film for their thesis project, along with the actress (Molly Ringwald) who played the final girl in the original attempt. It's got its tongue tucked firmly in cheek. Stricken with mostly bad reviews, I think it's a smidgen more entertaining than its reputation implies.
THE LOVE BUTCHER (1975, Mikel Angel & Don Jones)
ReplyDeletePerhaps the most apt summation of this film is uttered by its copper character Captain Stark (Edward Rohm, of the vansploitation classic CB HUSTLERS—Google it, freaks): "One thing I know for sure, whoever did this is weird. Not just sick, but a real weirdo."
A geeky gardener transforms into a swinging slayer in this proto-slasher and PSYCHO-influenced tale of dissociative identity: THE LOVE BUTCHER holds a (plastic prop) knife to the throat while keeping its tongue in its cheek. Dig the duel-roled, outlandishly over-the-top performance of James Lemp as the landscaper/lifetaker! Groove to the garish ‘70s garb! And get your mind blown by the outta-this-world dialog Lemp lays down: "You emasculate a man with your bottomless body pits" and “Fill me with nymph0id satisfaction!" There’re also a couple killer twists that pack a real punch and that’ll have yer guts a-turnin’!
I’ve heard that Lux Interior of The Cramps loved this flick, and I gotta say, I’m right there with him. Then again, I’m a real weirdo.
Mutilator 2 (2023)
ReplyDeleteSweet, merciful Christ, this movie is frustrating.
Night of the Reaper (2025)
ReplyDeleteReally liked the first 2/3rds, third act kinda lost me.
Sneaking a short one in while I am traveling.
ReplyDeleteUrban Lengeds: FInal Cut
This was better than I was expecting.
Sorority House Massacre(1086 Dir Carol Frank)
ReplyDeleteBeth is the new girl in the sorority, but not the new girl in the house. Turns out she was there as a child when a killer murdered her whole family and formed a psychic bond with our only little survivor. Now that she's back in the house, the killer breaks out of the local asylum and heads to the Sorority house to finish the job. Not a classic but the cast is generally likable and the film has its moments. The Teepee scene is a standout. Simply because it takes place in a teepee.
Black Christmas (1974)
ReplyDeleteMost slashers build dread before each kill. They spend time getting you to like (or hate) the characters so you have some kind of investment in their eventual death. They make you worry about every door that's opened or corner that's walked past until, wham, chop, stabbo, Susie Q bites the dust. Dread released, start again with the next poor victim. Black Christmas engages in some of this standard pre-kill dread (albeit very methodically), but it also engages in a more unique brand of post-kill dread. You spend almost no time with the first victim before she's bumped off, but then, because her death isn't immediately discovered (only her disappearance), you spend all this time meeting her dad, meeting her boyfriend, and hanging out with her sorority sisters. They're the ones who tell you how great the victim is, and I found myself feeling more and more sorry for all of them, and wishing they could just figure out that she's dead so they could stop searching and wondering. It's a pretty cool trick.
Another fun quirk of the movie is that nobody's really running from the killer, because nobody ever knows where the hell he is, which is inside the house with them the whole time! I'm not 100% sure, but I assume this is where the classic "The call is coming from inside the house" trope originated. And as much as that phrase has been reduced to a joke, when the line is uttered in this movie (after a tense scene with the phone company guy running around looking at 1970s phone line network switch-y stuff) the line actually lands effectively!
The movie does a good job building suspense through staging and has some pretty thoughtful shot composition. The kills are more artful than gory, typically cutting away just before a stab lands, but they're well edited and still feel like they carry an impact. Many slashers are so formulaic that they're fun without actually being scary. Black Christmas is actually pretty scary!
I'm making it sound like some kind of art movie, but the serious bits are well balanced with humor. Mrs. MacHenry, the house mother, is a fun character, and Margot Kidder gives a really good performance as a persistently drunk shitheel.
I didn't quite fall fully in love with it on this first viewing, but I liked it quite a bit, and I can absolutely see why it's considered a classic of the genre.
Severance (2006, dir. Christopher Smith)
ReplyDeleteA comedic slasher I heard about on Pure Cinema at some point. A work group on a corporate retreat find themselves in the turf of people who want to hunt them down.
The humor is pretty deadpan and I definitely had some laughs. The horror was funny a couple of times, and some other times just fairly gory. Overall, pretty decent quality.
Nightmare Beach (1989)
ReplyDeleteDirected by Umberto Lenzi, this is borrowing a lot from the giallo genre, while also trying to be a "spring break teen party movie". The mix of tones doesn't completely work, but it was okay. There are so many weird shots of the beach in this. Some completely packed with people, but curiously, others with the whole beach side completely packed with RV campers and cars, with people sunbathing further away from the water, their access to the water completely blocked. There's another shot where there's a line of cars, tightly packed fender to fender, blocking the people from the water.