'LAST FREE DAY OF '26... EVERY NON-80's COMEDY! REVIEW MUST GO!' 155.- SHOUT AT THE DEVIL (UNITED KINGDOM, 1976, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, PLEX, PLUTO, TUBI, MGM+.
Blind-bought this Blu-ray cheap during a Barnes & Noble sale because I was intrigued by the pairing of Lee Marvin and Roger Moore as ivory poachers in early 20th century Africa. Imagine my surprise when I watched what turned out to be an EPIC (with a capital 'E') pre/post-early World War I tale of greed, family, duty to a higher call and, ultimately, the futility of revenge... with a broad comedic tone that contrasts with its pushing-hard-its-70's-PG-rating violence. The 007 production pedigree is strong with "Shout At the Devil." In addition to Sir Roger (in-between "Man With the Golden Gun" and "Spy Who Loved Me") and director Peter Hunt ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service"), most of the crew (cameramen Alec Mills and Alan Hume, 2nd unit director John Glenn, miniature maker Derek Medding, production designer Syd Cain, main title designer Maurice Binder, etc.) were veterans of many James Bond pictures. The more I see of them ("Gold," "The Wild Geese," etc.) the more I like Roger Moore's 70's and early 80's films when he wasn't wearing the 007 tuxedo. 🧐🥸
Marvin plays "Colonel" Flynn O'Flynn, a drunken Irish ivory poacher who recruits reluctant British aristocrat Sebastian Oldsmith (Moore, who actually delivers a stoic performance) to lead his Arab dhow [sail ship without engine or weapons] under the Union Jacket flag. But German Commander of the Southern Provinces Hermann Fleisher (René Kolldehoff, literally playing a mustache-twirling uber-baddie), who is obsessed with capturing Flynn, has a German warship ram the dhow and almost kill O'Flynn, Oldsmith and their African crew. The survivors reach Portugal, where Flynn's daughter Rosa (Barbara Parkins) has a home that Fleisher can't reach since it's across the border from his Zanzibar province. Sebastian and Rosa fall in love (to Flynn's dismay), have a baby girl and the men start poaching ivory in Zanzibar again... until WWI gives Fleisher the excuse to cross into Portugal and capture O'Flynn. Since he can't nab his hated foe, Fleisher hurts the ones the Irishman loves most (yep, the movie goes there! 😲😰). Hundreds of extras, big action set-pieces and two movie stars at the top of their game. It's so good you can almost forgive the African-on-African violence, Ian Holm playing a comic relief mute Arab and Sir Roger wearing black body paint to go undercover inside a German ship. Another gem I wouldn't have found without the Junesploitation! bump. 4.5 BIPLANES CRASH-LANDING ON A ROCKY BEACH (out of five).
Co-written and directed by Haifaa Al-Mansour (one of the few women directors in the Saudi Arabian Kingdom), "Unidentified" would stand on its own for being a nearly perfect 'PG-13' cinematic crime thriller about trying to find the murderer of a young teenage girl whose body is dumped in the desert. But it's impossible to ignore that protagonist Nawal (Mila Al Zahrani) is a divorced single mother obsessed with real life crime blogs on social media who, despite working for a local police precint, carries no legal authority or power to make witnesses/people who know what happened to the dead girl talk... because the criminal justice system in Saudi Arabia requires Nawal to turn whatever she finds to a male officer, regardless of whether said officer cares enough about solving the crime to lift a finger. I'm being deliberately vague because "Unidentified" follows the structure of a well-known American movie I cannot mention or it'd spoil the denouement, which made me lead the slow golf clapping (which a few patrons in my theater joined in) during the credits. Enjoy the ride, the message and a Muslim female filmmaker willing to entertain with critique while not letting the seriousness get in the way of the fun. 4.20 SILVER HYUNDAI SEDANS JUST LIKE THE ONE MY SISTER OWNS (out of five).
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 29! 157- THE PINK PANTHER 2 (2009, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on TUBI, ROKU CHANNEL, PLUTO, YOUTUBE.
The 11th and, to date, last "Pink Panther" theatrical movie. It's $76 million worldwide haul barely covered its $70 million budget, a more-than-50% drop from its predecessor. Was the presence of Beyoncé that big a deal in the prequel that her absence from this sequel sunk it? Were diehard 'Panther' fans really bothered by John Cleese taking Dreyfus' role over Kevin Kline? Did Shawn Levy handing directorial duties to Harald (2010 "Karate Kid" remake) Zwart really change things that much? I'm asking because, on this first rewatch in years and almost back-to-back with 2006's "Pink Panther," "Pink Panther 2" feels like a good-enough sequel. It's still aimed mostly at children (Jean Reno's character even brings his young boys to live with him at Clouseau's place), but takes time to stage some sensitivity training scenes between Clouseau (Steve Martin, still good) and Mrs. Berenger (Lily Tomlin) that are both funny but also confronts the sexism/racism that characterized the inspector's badly dated social norms in the old movies. Martin has slightly better chemistry with Cleese than he did with Kline, but the trio of Clouseau, Ponton and Nicole (Emily Mortimer, who has a ton more scenes/importance here than the prequel) are as solid as the old movies' Clouseau/Dreyfus/François triumvirate. 🤓
A new master thief called 'The Tornado' is stealing the most irreplaceable artifacts from European and Japanese museums, so a 'Dream Team' of international detectives converges on France to join Jacques Clouseau and try to prevent The Pink Panther diamond from being stolen again. Oops, never mind, the diamond is stolen again! 😂 Can the best minds from Italy (Andy Garcia), Japan (Kenji Mazuto), Great Britain (Alfred Molina), Clouseau and a female fact-finder (Indian superstar Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) solve the case and find the perpetrator before more artwork gets stolen? Decent premise, but again, the jokes and narrative feel too kiddie for a series that used to be targeted at grown-ups first, kids second. Jeremy Irons has a shirtless cameo (eh, yay?) and Clouseau-as-Pope shenanigans go well with a runaway museum firehose that doubles as landing support. 😜
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 4.20 'BLAKE EDWARDS' PARIS METRO STATIONS (out of five). Great use of classic artwork (Mona Lisa, Michelangelo's paintings, etc.) to tie the movie's plot with the animated opening credits, which show better integration of cast names ('Andy Garcia' in spiderweb pattern, etc.) and better use of 3D effects to enhance the 2D animation ('Steve Martin' name of a fingerprint). If there are to be no more PP movies with cartoon credit intros, "PP2" ends the tradition on a high note.
MOVIE RATING: 3.35 PONTON'S KARATE KIDS KICKING DOWN 'UNCLE CLOUSEAU'S' APARTMENT DOORS (out of five).
I gave each movie a score, but my personal ranking (from best to worst):
1.- Pink Panther Strikes Again ('76) 2.- Return of the Pink Panther ('75) 3.- A Shot In the Dark ('64) 4.- Revenge of the Pink Panther ('78) 5.- The Pink Panther ('64) 6.- The Pink Panther ('06) 7.- The Pink Panther 2 ('09) 8.- The Curse of the Pink Panther ('83) 9.- The Trail of the Pink Panther ('82) 10.- Inspector Clouseau ('68) 11.- Son of the Pink Panther ('93).
I'll co-sign pretty much your whole ranking (minus Curse, Inspector and Son, which I haven't seen). Big fan of all the Sellers Panthers, though it's been a long time since I've watched them. Your write-ups have really made me want to revisit them.
Thanks, Mikko. 🙂 The first 3 (4 if you're generous/patient with "Revenge's" slow parts) are solid, top-notch comedies firing up on all cylinders. 5-7 are mainstream but unspectacular, safe product. 8-11 are either deeply flawed or just plain bad/unfunny, strictly for diehard Pink Panther completionists. 🤓🥴
You know how "A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge" has a reputation for being a not-too-subtle metaphor for suppressed homosexuality? Australian horror import "Leviticus" makes the same-sex attraction between two teenage boys (Joe Bird's Naim and Stacy Clausen's Ryan) not just the text of "Leviticus," but the unintended instrument of death that puts them in danger. The rural Australian setting isn't just for show, but to showcase how the outdated idea of conversion therapy still can attract well-meaning-but-clueless parents to do more harm than good to their children. By forcing Naim and Ryan into a conversion ritual that materializes whatever each of them desires most (which for a teenager would be the person he/she crushes on the hardest), the parents are the unwitting executioners of their offspring's life... or are they really unwitting? 🫤🥵 Danny and Michael Philippou started an Aussie horror movement with "Talk To Me" that "Leviticus," though not as good as that 2022 horror classic, shares more than a passing resemblance to. Give it a shot, especially if you're looking for more positive LGBTQ representation in the genre. 3.85 EASY-TO-BURN-TO-THE-GROUND ABANDONED FACTORIES (out of five).
Work has finally let up and I'm catching up on some Junesploitation fun!
Falling Down (1993, dir. Joel Schumacher) Look, I typed in "90s action" into Netflix and this popped up. I liked it. A slightly inferior character study when compared to Heat, but it still has plenty to add to the cop v criminal dynamic. Boy, it REALLY paints a damning picture of America in the 90s....
Heat (1995, dir. Michael Mann) I mean, I had to. It's so good! ("She's got a great ass... and you got your head all the way up it")
Knowing (2009, dir. Alex Proyas) Patrick mentioned this a few weeks ago in his Disaster Movies column and I'm so on board with this movie. The plane sequence alone makes the movie, but I really dug the movie's commitment to its own concept. I mean, it really does the thing it sets out to do.
Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965, dir. Curtis Harrington)
In the distant future of 2020, humankind has colonized the Moon and are set to take the next logical step... Venus? Which we're told is very similar to Earth? Once the astronauts land, accompanied by a clunky robot of course, they're attacked by monstrous lizards, monstrous plants, monstrous flying creatures, and enough fog to almost hide the cheaply made sets.
Director Curtis Harrington took the Soviet sci-fi movie Planet of Storms (1962, dir. Pavel Klushantsev), recut it, dubbed it in English and added some wraparound scenes of his own.
The cheap sets and janky monsters are delightful, and the Jetsons car the astronauts use to traverse Venus's surface and the clumsy robot are fun props. 73-year-old Basil Rathbone was hired to sit in a chair and talk into a mic for five minutes so they could put his name on the poster.
Over Your Dead Body (2026, dir. Jorma Taccone)
An unhappily married man takes his wife on a trip to a remote cabin and plans to kill her there, but it turns out his wife is hatching the exact same plan for him. Complications ensue, some of them quite bloody.
Jason Segel works as a sadsack husband and Samara Weaving is always engaging on screen. The basic premise is great for a dark comedy, but some of the twists and turns it takes are a little too silly to my liking, and the movie constantly keeps cutting to entirely unnecessary flashbacks that invariably took me out of the narrative. There's one needledrop that's kinda funny if you recognize the track (or if, like me, you have the hard-of-hearing subtitles on).
I was curious to see this mainly because it was shot in my hometown, but it takes place almost entirely in the one cabin and the surrounding forest, so no spotting familiar landmarks. The place does look very Finnish though.
Two scientists working on "oddities" (anything from giant rabbits to invisible people) for a research institute find out their employer has been taken over by an evil businessman bent on turning everything into a weapon of mass destruction. So to oppose them, the two scientists form a team of "weird people" as they call them, including a 7-foot-2 guy who can shrink himself, a telekinetic teenager, a rock guitarist with electrical powers, and a dude who has the power to play basketball I guess.
This was the feature-length pilot episode to an NBC show that got cancelled in the middle of its first season. The all-star cast includes Courteney Cox in one of her first roles, the guy who played the Predator in Predator and Harry in Harry and the Hendersons, Dean Martin's son, the inspector from Young Frankenstein, and one-time Bob Dylan drummer Mickey Jones. The story's just kooky and convoluted enough to be entertaining, the shrinking man effects are adorable, and can anyone dislike something that blasts She Blinded Me with Science during the opening credits?
Triloquist (2008, dir. Mark Jones)
A down-and-out ventriloquist OD's and leaves her daughter, son and ventriloquist's dummy orphaned. They go from foster home to abusive uncle to another foster home, until finally the kids are on the verge of adulthood, and they go on a psychotic rampage of murder, kidnapping, torture and $ex on their way to Las Vegas. Oh, and did I mention the dummy is alive and may or may not be psychically linked to the mute son? But who the hell knows, there's no logic to be found here.
This is some unhinged sh!t and there's way more T&A and ince$t than the premise strictly requires. Paydin LoPachin (no way that's a person's name!) and Rocky Marquette as the sister and brother give two of the craziest performances I've seen in a while, but in very different ways. There's a thin line between a masterpiece and a piece of crap, and I'm not sure which this is. I was entertained though, but I don't know whether that says more about the movie or about me.
(I tried to censor the usual bad words, hope it works.)
Bonus short: Open Door (2023, dir. Kevin Cate)
Two strangers step into an elevator, which takes them to an unknown place of horrors. Or something.
It's a three-minute YouTube short film that's currently being developed into a feature and touted as "the next Backrooms". And when I say short film, it's more of a teaser, clearly designed to be expanded upon. As it is, it's not much to speak of.
The great parts are as great as I remember, even better in the case of the animated demons that attempt to kidnap our hero at one point. The macho shit that Milius obviously took pretty seriously is just as laughable as it is revealing about the writers immaturity. James Earl Jones still straightens out a snake and uses it as an arrow so I was pretty much completely onboard.
My final bite of sexy vampire ladies of the 70s this month is a full-on er0tic horror by José Ramón Larraz. Every evening two vampire ladies stop a man traveling alone and ask for a ride home to an abandoned looking manor in the middle of the woods. There, they woo him with wine and sexy time until it's time to drain him and discard the body in a staged car accident. Rinse and repeat. Things get a little more complicated later on, but not really. The movie gets by on spooky, kinky vibes more than on its pretty basic plot mechanics, which is fine with me. It feels quite Rollin-esque in this way. If you dig this kind of stuff, and I think it's been properly established that I do, you won't regret giving this one a go.
Day of the Dead (1985): Wow, so many sample I've been hearing in songs for years, but never knew they were from this. Now I'm caught up with the first 4 movies of the series, apparently the bests, I'll continue with the rest at some point. Before anybody ask, I didn't get the new 4k, I got the regular Shout blu-ray for fairly cheap. I wanted to be sure. But now I'll probably get the 4k the first chance I get.
Doomsday (2008): This has been on my radar for a while, but never got around to it. Starts as 28 Days Later, then turn into Escape From New York, then Excalibur, then Mad Max... because why not! It's a crazy movie. I don't know what happened to Neil Marshall, but he knew how to make a good genre movie back then. At least we got this and The Descent (which I don't think I'll ever rewatch).
Earlier this week I did a John Singleton special: 2 Fast 2 Furious and Four Brothers... 2 movies that were mentioned in a podcast by Adam and/or Patrick, can't remember which one or when.
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003): Not my favorite, but still better than anything after Fast 5.
Four Brothers (2005): I don't remember ever seeing this one, but I'm glad I did now. It was very good. You guys should've said before the bad guy was Chiwetel Ejiofor. Also, what happened to you Terrence Howard? You were so good.
Rolls-Royce Baby (1975): I was trying to think of a movie I could watch to fill my free time and remembered that, somehow, some way, I had an unwatched Lina Romay movie. It’s kismet because yesterday I was looking back at my review of Jack the Ripper, and I had not succumbed to the Stockholm Syndrome of being pulled into the cinematic universe of Jess Franco. In fact, I wrote that I didn’t understand why people loved his movies so much.
What was I thinking?
Rosa Maria Almirall Martinez was still in high school five years before this movie was filmed, not yet taking the stage name Lina Romay, not yet being the muse of Jess. Also not yet taking on even more stage names — “I’m Lina Romay when I have brown hair, Candy Coster when I have blonde hair, and Lulu Laveme when I have red hair.” — or leaving her husband for Jess.
But in 1975, Lina was in a ton of movies, including Female Vampire and Barbed Wire Dolls. Here, she may play the “Rolls-Royce Baby,” but she’s really an idealized movie version of herself. The film begins with her shaving herself with a straight razor, which could give one the notion of sharp steel blades against young flesh because one tends to think big and obsess when watching Lina Romay movies.
That said, this isn’t a Jess film, even if he may have directed a scene or two (I’m no Stephen Thrower, so I can’t just pull that knowledge out; Ian Jaye did say, “Right out of the gate when asked about this movie Dietrich says that he co-directed it with Jess Franco and that Lina was on loan from him, which is at odds with what most have believed about this film for years. It was commonly held that Franco was not involved in making this movie at all.”). Instead, it was directed by Erwin C. Dietrich, a former actor who moved into directing krimi films like The Strangler of the Tower before turning to adult films, where the money always is.
At some point, after touching herself and taking photos like cosplaying Sylvia Kristel in the wicker chair from Emmanuelle, Lina gets worshipped by Eric Falk (Mad Foxes), whom we’re introduced to when he does full-frontal karate. She then decides to head out in the titular luxury car, picking up a variety of men, from truck drivers to hippie hitchhikers, while he sulks in the car. Some of her lovers include Roman Huber, Ursula Maria Schaefer and Kurt Meinicke.
Those are just facts; as for whether this is a good movie, all I have to say is that I had it playing in the background while I was in a meeting and audibly gasped the moment Lina appeared. Her giant eyes, her porcelain skin, just knowing it’s her… somehow Franco — and by extension Dietrich — were able to take what they loved about her and share it with the world, which is really the finest example of the sharing-caring paradigm I can imagine.
I love that there are reviews that claim this is boring. Lina Romay wears lace and a big hat, staring right at you through the camera, fifty years ago in our time, gone from our realm of existence, but still vibrant, still young, still alive.
First Blood takes place during Christmas. There are Christmas trees and Christmas lights all over the place. Let's add this movie into the annoying Die-Hard-Christmas debate (or not).
ADELE HAS NOT HAD SUPPER YET (1978) America’s greatest detective travels to Prague for a case involving a duchess’ kidnapped dog, a sinister botanist, and many, many glasses of pilsner. This is based on Nick Carter, an actual pulp magazine hero from around the 1880s, but it’s a parody in the vein of Adam West’s Batman and/or Peter Sellers’ Pink Panther (hi, Vargas). The wackiness flows like wine, with a real “anything for a laugh” mentality. It’s tricky to keep that tone throughout a whole movie, and this one deflates at times. The special effects were done by famed animator Jan Svankmajer, so that’s pretty cool. And I liked the steampunk gadgets that showed up in the second half. Lots of film snobs have been talking this movie up since it magically appeared on Tubi, but I thought it was more amusing than brilliant.
30 days of fan films, day 29: STRANGE BLADES (2023) It’s back to Marvel as Blade experiences a prophetic vision after killing some vampires, and then he’s attacked by Ghost Rider. The subsequent investigation takes Blade on a tour through Marvel Universe’s supernatural side and beyond. My big question going into this was how on earth they could pull off Ghost Rider, and I must admit he looks pretty good, flaming skull-head and all. This is another polished, semi-professional fan film, but one that can still have fun with these characters.
Well, B & S, Jess Franco is the theme of my watches this final free day of Junesploitation. It would not be June without Franco in my viewing list. I have watched quite a few clunkers from him, but when I find a film I enjoy, I really enjoy it.
NIGHTMARES COME AT NIGHT (1970)
Despite the lack of a plot, the vibe of this film completely won me over. NIGHTMARES is dreamy and sensual, featuring a performance from Diana Lorys, who worked with Jess Franco very early in his career. Lorys is Anna, a s-t-r-i-p-t-e-a-s-e artist in an abusive relationship with a rich woman. Anna is subject to nightmares, many of which involve murdering people. Is she going insane, or is there something nefarious happening around her?
Jess Franco produced this independently, raising funds from people he knew in the business. NIGHTMARES did not get a wide release until the DVD era. Though not as strong a film as the projects with Soledad Miranda that would follow, there is plenty of interesting atmosphere and mood throughout the film. It is not afraid to get weird. That is why this period of Franco's career (late 1960s to the mid-1970s) is my favorite.
DORIANA GRAY (1976)
By 1975, Lina Romay was a staple in Jess Franco's films and his romantic partner. They were together until her death in 2012. Franco died the following year.
Lina Romay brought a more aggressive s-e-x-u-a-l-i-t-y to Franco's films. With the emergence of h-a-r-d-c-o-r-e films in the 1970s, a different market opened up to exploit, and Romay was willing to go that route in her performances. The English version of Doriana Gray shows several unsimulated acts in front of the camera. Romay portrays twin sisters who have an unusual s-e-x-u-a-l connection. One twin is in an asylum, and the other is an heiress living a hedonistic lifestyle. One thing Franco did well is capture women with a camera. There are several striking images of Lina Romay throughout the film. As usual, the filming location is beautiful. Like her role in The Female Vampire, Romay's heiress can drain the lifeforce from people through certain physical contact. It does not make sense, like a lot that is in Doriana Gray. Though I cannot count this among my favorite Franco's, Lina Romay does elevate the film above terrible stuff like the Red Lips (Kiss Me, Monster) movies.
Meatloaf plays the world’s greatest roadie who doesn’t know he’s a roadie until he meets up with a groupie determined to lose her virginity to Alice Cooper. He navigates bar fights with Hank Williams Jr and Roy Orbison, parties with Blondie and spits on Clem Burke’s boots, creates a cow pie electrical generator saving an outdoor festival, delivers the groupie to an erudite Cooper(here’s where Wayne’s World got the idea), and all Meatloaf wants to do is get back to his Hee Haw family in Texas led by a pneumatic chair bound Art Carney. This is a lot better than it deserves to be, Meatloaf was that charming. Woulda been even better if they’d let the bands play an entire live song.
I chose this because I know it was a major influence on Martin Scorsese and man, he ain’t kidding. This is a masterpiece. Robert Ryan is excellent in the lead as Stoker Thompson, a past-his-prime pugilist aching for one last win. He takes a fight with a younger hotshot (Hal Baylor) without realizing that his manager has been taking bribes from a gangster. The manager expects the aging fighter to lose anyway so he never tells him about the bribes. Little does he know how determined Stoker is to win.
The story is told in real time, and the boxing sequences are as tense as can be. I started feeling a little dizzy watching them and realized that it was because I was holding my breath from the tension. This is an incredible movie, the kind that has me still buzzing from it an hour later. This is the dragon I’m chasing every time I watch a noir movie, I cannot give it a higher recommendation.
A classic for a reason and that ending gets dark. Robert Ryan is among my favorite actors of this period. I will watch a film just because he is in it.
The director, Robert Wise, had a diverse career in Hollywood. Besides The Set-Up, he made classics like The Day The Earth Stood Still, The Haunting, The Sound of Music, and West Side Story. I think his final film was the first Star Trek film. If you have not seen Wise's 1947 noir Born To Kill, that is one you should check out.
Whats good? Milla is as stunning. Christian Slater is in full-on Happy Harry mode and still can't dance, there's minimal Tony Goldwyn, The Bad Guy is not only wearing a shirt with his own picture on it but gets shot thru the head in the picture and Thunder. There are really only two issues with this movie. The sounds effects guy was giving way too much free reign in the edit and we really needed more Thunder.
fun game while watching! Play spot the Ashley Judd. Big points if you can. I didn't know she was in it till the credits
I got too intrigued with this being the year of Kuffs, so I gave it a go!
At first it gave an odd Ferris Bueller vibe with the 4th wall soliloquys... and then you know what, I had a fun time. A few unexpected big laughs (IT'S MELTING!!) and all those touches where it showed that it's not taking itself too seriously... convinced me I was onboard. Some of it was a bit iffy but overall so glad I watched it!
This was better than I expected. Brigitte Nielson stars as the evil prison warden wrongfully imprisoning some American tourist in an easterun European jail. Bit odd, it is a women in prison movie, and has some obligatory shower scenes, but there are a lot scenes outside the prison, and others inside the prison that don't look like anything you would find in one. I still don't quite understand Bobo's art studio. Ends with a bunch of machine gun wielding women in mini-skirts.
159.- RABID (CANADA, 1977, SHOUT!/SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI, PLUTO, FAWESOME, AMC+.
If you've ever wondered what it would be like if Canadian body horror maestro David Cronenberg ("The Fly '86," "The Dead Zone," "eXistenZ," etc.) ever did a George Romero-type, "Night of the Living Dead"-like zombie apocalypse movie, look no further. Sandwiched neatly between the gratuitously gooey "Shivers" ('75) and his more mature-themed "The Brood" ('79), "Rabid" ('77) follows bike accident victim Rose (adult film actress Marilyn Chambers) going through an experimental skin graft during emergency plastic surgery (!) to save her burned skin. Boyfriend Paul (Frank Moore) suffers less-severe injuries, so he returns to Montreal while Doctor Keloid (Howard Ryshpan) spends weeks nursing Rose back to health at his clinic. When she suddenly awakens, though, Rose cannot eat anything but blood she sucks from other people through a pen!s-like protrusion underneath her armpit. 👀😰Rose escapes the clinic and hitchhikes her way back to Montreal, leaving infected bodies that make rabies-like victims bite other people to spread the disease before eventually dying. Done on the cheap (the dramatic music cues are from the same library used by the 60's "Spider-Man" cartoon! 😅), "Rabid" gets by with atmosphere (convoys of trash compactors to dispose of the dead bodies) punctuated by infrequent-but-shocking, red-paint splattered gore (sorry, Santa mall!). A not-insignificant step in Cronenberg's growth as a horror auteur, even if the 4K transfer doesn't look leaps and bounds better than my decades-old DVD. 😕 3.85 'JOGGING KILLS' LIGHT BLUE SWEATERS (out of five).
SUZZANNA: PACT WITH THE FORCES OF DARKNESS (1991, Sisworo Gautama Putra, IDN)
Oh, SUZZANNA! Evidently, she's so powerful, she breaks Blogger every time I push PUBLISH! I have tried multiple times to post and have been censored every time. Needless to say, it's your loss, Junesploitationers, because my review was brilliant. The flick was pretty good, too-- you'll have to take my redacted word for it!
On another note... I caught this flick at the screening room of local video store Movie Madness, an insane resource for Junesploitationers—they have more movies in stock than all streaming services combined, and an extensive psychotronic section! If you’re ever in Portland, I’ll be happy to give you a tour!
'That's the most boring piece of shit I've ever seen!'
Someone shouted that in the theater I was watching the movie at when the closing credits started. I was thinking the exact same thing and was debating with myself whether to shout it or just walk away. Writer/director Michael Sarnoski ("Pig," "A Quiet Place: Day One") goes the "Green Knight" route of obfuscating reality (or as real as a 17th century poem adapted to film can be) and mixing myth/fantasy in this A24-released tale of an older, bitter, lonely Robin Hood (Hugh Jackman, gruff and humorless to a fault) that seems to leave a trail of bodies from revenge seekers and relatives of old allies (Little John's wife dies while Robin tried to save the former's kidnapped daughter) before being gravely injured in battle and shipped to an island for a healing period. At this point (I swear this is all true) I'm reading "TDORH's" plot summary on Wikipedia, and none of it looks familiar or makes any sense, even though I made it a point to follow the getting-twistier-and-twistier narrative. So many characters (Jody Comers' Sister Brigid, Murray Bartlett's Leper, Noah Jupes' Arthur, etc.) talking highfalutin nonsense. The only logical explanation is that, in a self-preservation move, my brain snapped and erased memories of my viewing of this film for me to preserve my sanity. Not only the worst movie I've seen this June, but likely to be at the bottom of my super-long, end-of-year list. 1... 1.... CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING CLEVER TO SAY (out of five). 🥺😭
161.- BOBBIE JO AND THE OUTLAW (1976, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Also streaming on PLUTO, TUBI, MGM+, AMAZON PRIME.
If there's one director worthy of being called Junesploitation! royalty it's Mark L. Lester. "Commando," "Class of 1984/1999," "Showdown in Little Tokyo"... need I say more? 😎👍 Back in 1976, though, Lester was a B-movie director moving drive-in product for American International Pictures. Released the same day as Martin Scorsese's "Taxi Driver," "Bobbie Jo and The Outlaw" starts as a fun hangout picture with Billy the Kid-wannabe Lyle Wheeler (Marjoe Gortner, "Starcrash") stealing a car, picking up hot chick Bobbie Jo (Lynda Carter, TV's "Wonder Woman") and her bestie Essie (Belinda Balaski, "Piranha"), then having Bobbie Jo's older sister Pearl (Merrie Lynn Ross) and her beau 'Slick' Callahan (Jesse Vint) join in. Petty crimes give way to shooting/killing/bank-robbing sprees, with trigger-happy New Mexico Sheriff Hicks (Gene Drew) hot on the gang's trail. Despite being selfish and not really caring about their victims (though Lyle makes sure to leave $100 for the funeral of the dummy gas attendant that challenged him to a duel over an under-$5 gas tab! 🤨🙄) you can't help but sympathize with the modern-day outlaws over the pigs that lie/kill innocent people to try and nab them. The early parts of "BJATO" work best because Gortner and Carter have great chemistry together that, frankly, is diluted by the sitcom-like stacking of additional characters they have to share the narrative with. 'It's fine,' but it could have used a better ending than just reaching a sudden stop. 3.6 LYNDA CARTER TOPLESS SCENES THAT MAKE ME PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! 🫡🤫(out of five).
For someone who felt "I Love Boosters" was a chore to sit through due to its heavy stylization, I found Adam Shankman's "Stop! That! Train!" much more entertaining despite also relying on style for many... okay, most of its visual humor. An LGBTQ-friendly disaster parody movie about a runaway bullet train for Glamazonian Express running through a once-in-a-lifetime series of 'Stormaganza' deadly weather phenomena (constantly monitored by Rachel Bloom and not her too-busy-being-hetero-men government co-workers), "S!T!T!" also doubles as a talent showcase. Besties and stewardesses Tess and DeeDee (Ginger Minj and Jujubee, respectively), refugees of Stank Rail (the Spirit Airlines of this cinematic universe 🧐), not only have to save the day but be as/more fabulous than veteran hostesses Amber, Alli, and Ayshleiygh (Brooke Lynn Hytes, Marty Lauter and Symone, respectively), who constantly try to upstage them. The whole thing borders on absurdism when U.S. President Judy Gagwell (RuPaul Charles) shows up at the train's cockpit to look heroic, but a comedy like this only needs to make you laugh a few times to be worth your time. And despite its share of stinkers and bad jokes (Sarah Michelle Gellar begging for attention! 😅), "S!T!T!" ultimately delivers the funny and looks fabulous doing so. 3.75 CAMEOS BY 'HOW DID THIS GET MADE?' PODCAST HOSTS (out of five).
The Prowler (1981) Dug the killer's outfit. The kills are a bit gnarlier than I expected, though it seems to progress to "just the final girl+1" a bit too quickly. Overall a solid 80s slasher.
163.- HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD). Streaming on TUBI, FAWESOME, AMC+, PLEX, AMAZON PRIME.
Now we're cooking with gas! Thank you Shout Factory for seamless integration of both the theatrical and unrated versions in the same 4K disc of Barbara Peeters' "Humanoids From The Deep." Or as I like to call it, 'what special effects wizard Rob Bottin was working on (this and "The Howling") on his way to making John Carpenter's "The Thing" the monster horror masterpiece we know and love.' Forget the story of the Pacific Northwest fishing town of Noyo fighting amongst itself about accepting or rejecting a cannery business that promises bigger fish catches in the future due to its research department (led by Ann Turkel's Susan Drake scientist). Don't pay attention to racist a-hole fishermen (led by Vic Morrow's Hank Slattery) blaming their lack of fish to catch or dead dogs on the pier on the one Indian fisherman (Anthony Pena's Johnny Eagle). You came to see human-sized giant sea creatures r@pe topless women, slash visitors to Noyo's 70th annual festival and inflict gory mayhem on men's torsos, faces and sliced bellies. And in the uncut version I've seen the movie delivers the goods in glorious, crystal-clear 4K. I saw "HFTD" on regular TV years ago (one of my first Junesploitaiton! reviews back then), but this 4K presentation blows that standard definition memory away.
Yes, the longer a shot doesn't cut away the more ridiculous Botin's humanoid creature design looks ("Alien" meets "Swamp Thing" with a dash of "Pumpkinhead") standing around with its big, wavy arms... but (a) they don't look that bad for the little money you know Roger Corman gave Rob to work with, and (b) I prefer they show me too much than constant cut-aways to nothing to hide the cut needed to get this down to an 'R' rating. And at 80 minutes "HFTD" doesn't have time to outstay its welcome. A lean, mean creature feature with 50's style title name, credits and premise, but 80's gory-as-eff horror presentation. 4.05 NUKE-POWERED MOLOTOV COCKTAILS (out of five).
The same dude that starred in/directed this year's phenomenal "The AI Doc" documentary (Daniel Roher) directed/co-wrote this slick heist/human drama about young piano tuner Niki White (Leo Woodall) overcoming his acute hyperacusis [normal everyday sounds feel extremely loud] to help his uncle Harry (Dustin Hoffman) and aunt Maria (Tovah Feldshuh) keep their Tri-State area piano tuning business afloat. Niki's ability to tune his senses to the point he can open mechanical safe boxes attracts the attention of Uri (Lior Raz), a security expert for the rich that steals from them the smaller possessions they don't miss. Niki also catches the eye of Ruthie (Havana Rose Liu), a musician who gradually falls for the wounded soul that Niki reveals himself to be once he opens up to her. Forced by Uri to help him commit crimes, Niki's attempt to hold work, family, girlfriend and extra money together ends up costing him plenty (not "Uncut Gems"-level bad, but up there)... until the very end of "Tuner," when we learn what we've been teased could never be reached was there all along for the taking. Terrific little film. 4.10 JEAN RENOS AS ELDER STATEMENT, MUSIC MAESTRO ROLES.
I don’t get people saying this is a subpar exploitation movie. Gorgeous, ass-kicking female leads. A-list villains. Simple premise that doesn’t completely make sense. Genre legends meeting spectacular ends. Gore galore. Gratuitous nudity. Awesome cheese ball one liners. Cannibals. Wisdom for the ages: “Self preservation comes to mind.” Creative action scenes like El Wray’s hospital hallway fight with the butterfly knives. Cool cars and cooler weapons. I’d say this is RR’s best movie.
Try not to shoot yourselves. Don’t shoot each other. But especially… don’t shoot me.
This is basically a Bond movie, but with a little more violence and sex, and featuring the always charismatic Richard Roundtree. Doesn't quite capture the Blacksploitation feeling as much as the original, but thoroughly entertaining in its own way.
I wanted to watch another Jackie Chan movie and decided on the one that a friend claims is his favorite! (no, he has not seen many.)
Better than I expected! Probably more cool fights than the first movie, but maybe fewer jokes that landed for me. I might marginally prefer the villain's plot in 2as well. But I didn't like the Jackie telescope stuff.
Also I do think I had seen this before (makes it my first intentional rewatch this month)... but I didn't remember almost anything from it this time. /shrug
Circus Island (2006, dir. Judy Landers, Audrey Landers)
I forgot to watch this earlier but had been meaning to from the start. I got a decent amount of entertainment from it as a bad movie.
A trapeeze guy leaves his wife and daughter, to marry his wife's sister. Then 10 years later the daughter wants to reunite and ends up bonding with her half-siblings/cousins. Wouldn't you know it, they decide to start a circus training camp for teens, and of course the teens are like pros in a short amount of time. that's the basic weirdass story, and they throw in lots of lame side plots to move things along including a nearly psycho rival to the lead girl, and of course Ghost Gramps.
The main takeaways for me were the almost complete lack of emoting from the lead girl and the all-around bad writing. It feels like they had a basic idea, and a setting available to them... that's it. There were so many cliched plot points and bad dialogue, it felt like padding and desperation to connect their main story up in some kind of flow. And the music! How could I forget those repetitive island tunes!
What were they thinking, making this movie? Ghost Gramps (explaining why he's there) said it best: Who knows? It was featured on HDTGM recently so I'll listen to that episode later. I'll be interested to hear what about it they dug so much.
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'LAST FREE DAY OF '26... EVERY NON-80's COMEDY! REVIEW MUST GO!'
ReplyDelete155.- SHOUT AT THE DEVIL (UNITED KINGDOM, 1976, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, PLEX, PLUTO, TUBI, MGM+.
Blind-bought this Blu-ray cheap during a Barnes & Noble sale because I was intrigued by the pairing of Lee Marvin and Roger Moore as ivory poachers in early 20th century Africa. Imagine my surprise when I watched what turned out to be an EPIC (with a capital 'E') pre/post-early World War I tale of greed, family, duty to a higher call and, ultimately, the futility of revenge... with a broad comedic tone that contrasts with its pushing-hard-its-70's-PG-rating violence. The 007 production pedigree is strong with "Shout At the Devil." In addition to Sir Roger (in-between "Man With the Golden Gun" and "Spy Who Loved Me") and director Peter Hunt ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service"), most of the crew (cameramen Alec Mills and Alan Hume, 2nd unit director John Glenn, miniature maker Derek Medding, production designer Syd Cain, main title designer Maurice Binder, etc.) were veterans of many James Bond pictures. The more I see of them ("Gold," "The Wild Geese," etc.) the more I like Roger Moore's 70's and early 80's films when he wasn't wearing the 007 tuxedo. 🧐🥸
Marvin plays "Colonel" Flynn O'Flynn, a drunken Irish ivory poacher who recruits reluctant British aristocrat Sebastian Oldsmith (Moore, who actually delivers a stoic performance) to lead his Arab dhow [sail ship without engine or weapons] under the Union Jacket flag. But German Commander of the Southern Provinces Hermann Fleisher (René Kolldehoff, literally playing a mustache-twirling uber-baddie), who is obsessed with capturing Flynn, has a German warship ram the dhow and almost kill O'Flynn, Oldsmith and their African crew. The survivors reach Portugal, where Flynn's daughter Rosa (Barbara Parkins) has a home that Fleisher can't reach since it's across the border from his Zanzibar province. Sebastian and Rosa fall in love (to Flynn's dismay), have a baby girl and the men start poaching ivory in Zanzibar again... until WWI gives Fleisher the excuse to cross into Portugal and capture O'Flynn. Since he can't nab his hated foe, Fleisher hurts the ones the Irishman loves most (yep, the movie goes there! 😲😰). Hundreds of extras, big action set-pieces and two movie stars at the top of their game. It's so good you can almost forgive the African-on-African violence, Ian Holm playing a comic relief mute Arab and Sir Roger wearing black body paint to go undercover inside a German ship. Another gem I wouldn't have found without the Junesploitation! bump. 4.5 BIPLANES CRASH-LANDING ON A ROCKY BEACH (out of five).
156.- UNIDENTIFIED (SAUDI ARABIA, 2026, THEATER)
ReplyDeleteCo-written and directed by Haifaa Al-Mansour (one of the few women directors in the Saudi Arabian Kingdom), "Unidentified" would stand on its own for being a nearly perfect 'PG-13' cinematic crime thriller about trying to find the murderer of a young teenage girl whose body is dumped in the desert. But it's impossible to ignore that protagonist Nawal (Mila Al Zahrani) is a divorced single mother obsessed with real life crime blogs on social media who, despite working for a local police precint, carries no legal authority or power to make witnesses/people who know what happened to the dead girl talk... because the criminal justice system in Saudi Arabia requires Nawal to turn whatever she finds to a male officer, regardless of whether said officer cares enough about solving the crime to lift a finger. I'm being deliberately vague because "Unidentified" follows the structure of a well-known American movie I cannot mention or it'd spoil the denouement, which made me lead the slow golf clapping (which a few patrons in my theater joined in) during the credits. Enjoy the ride, the message and a Muslim female filmmaker willing to entertain with critique while not letting the seriousness get in the way of the fun. 4.20 SILVER HYUNDAI SEDANS JUST LIKE THE ONE MY SISTER OWNS (out of five).
BONUS: 30 DAYS OF PINK PANTHER & FRIENDS, DAY 29!
ReplyDelete157- THE PINK PANTHER 2 (2009, AMAZON PRIME). Also streaming on TUBI, ROKU CHANNEL, PLUTO, YOUTUBE.
The 11th and, to date, last "Pink Panther" theatrical movie. It's $76 million worldwide haul barely covered its $70 million budget, a more-than-50% drop from its predecessor. Was the presence of Beyoncé that big a deal in the prequel that her absence from this sequel sunk it? Were diehard 'Panther' fans really bothered by John Cleese taking Dreyfus' role over Kevin Kline? Did Shawn Levy handing directorial duties to Harald (2010 "Karate Kid" remake) Zwart really change things that much? I'm asking because, on this first rewatch in years and almost back-to-back with 2006's "Pink Panther," "Pink Panther 2" feels like a good-enough sequel. It's still aimed mostly at children (Jean Reno's character even brings his young boys to live with him at Clouseau's place), but takes time to stage some sensitivity training scenes between Clouseau (Steve Martin, still good) and Mrs. Berenger (Lily Tomlin) that are both funny but also confronts the sexism/racism that characterized the inspector's badly dated social norms in the old movies. Martin has slightly better chemistry with Cleese than he did with Kline, but the trio of Clouseau, Ponton and Nicole (Emily Mortimer, who has a ton more scenes/importance here than the prequel) are as solid as the old movies' Clouseau/Dreyfus/François triumvirate. 🤓
A new master thief called 'The Tornado' is stealing the most irreplaceable artifacts from European and Japanese museums, so a 'Dream Team' of international detectives converges on France to join Jacques Clouseau and try to prevent The Pink Panther diamond from being stolen again. Oops, never mind, the diamond is stolen again! 😂 Can the best minds from Italy (Andy Garcia), Japan (Kenji Mazuto), Great Britain (Alfred Molina), Clouseau and a female fact-finder (Indian superstar Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) solve the case and find the perpetrator before more artwork gets stolen? Decent premise, but again, the jokes and narrative feel too kiddie for a series that used to be targeted at grown-ups first, kids second. Jeremy Irons has a shirtless cameo (eh, yay?) and Clouseau-as-Pope shenanigans go well with a runaway museum firehose that doubles as landing support. 😜
ANIMATED INTRO OPENING: 4.20 'BLAKE EDWARDS' PARIS METRO STATIONS (out of five). Great use of classic artwork (Mona Lisa, Michelangelo's paintings, etc.) to tie the movie's plot with the animated opening credits, which show better integration of cast names ('Andy Garcia' in spiderweb pattern, etc.) and better use of 3D effects to enhance the 2D animation ('Steve Martin' name of a fingerprint). If there are to be no more PP movies with cartoon credit intros, "PP2" ends the tradition on a high note.
MOVIE RATING: 3.35 PONTON'S KARATE KIDS KICKING DOWN 'UNCLE CLOUSEAU'S' APARTMENT DOORS (out of five).
What is the final, definitive, Pink Panther theatrical film ranking?
DeleteI gave each movie a score, but my personal ranking (from best to worst):
Delete1.- Pink Panther Strikes Again ('76)
2.- Return of the Pink Panther ('75)
3.- A Shot In the Dark ('64)
4.- Revenge of the Pink Panther ('78)
5.- The Pink Panther ('64)
6.- The Pink Panther ('06)
7.- The Pink Panther 2 ('09)
8.- The Curse of the Pink Panther ('83)
9.- The Trail of the Pink Panther ('82)
10.- Inspector Clouseau ('68)
11.- Son of the Pink Panther ('93).
I'll co-sign pretty much your whole ranking (minus Curse, Inspector and Son, which I haven't seen). Big fan of all the Sellers Panthers, though it's been a long time since I've watched them. Your write-ups have really made me want to revisit them.
DeleteThanks, Mikko. 🙂 The first 3 (4 if you're generous/patient with "Revenge's" slow parts) are solid, top-notch comedies firing up on all cylinders. 5-7 are mainstream but unspectacular, safe product. 8-11 are either deeply flawed or just plain bad/unfunny, strictly for diehard Pink Panther completionists. 🤓🥴
Delete158.- LEVITICUS (AUSTRALIA, '26, THEATER)
ReplyDeleteYou know how "A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge" has a reputation for being a not-too-subtle metaphor for suppressed homosexuality? Australian horror import "Leviticus" makes the same-sex attraction between two teenage boys (Joe Bird's Naim and Stacy Clausen's Ryan) not just the text of "Leviticus," but the unintended instrument of death that puts them in danger. The rural Australian setting isn't just for show, but to showcase how the outdated idea of conversion therapy still can attract well-meaning-but-clueless parents to do more harm than good to their children. By forcing Naim and Ryan into a conversion ritual that materializes whatever each of them desires most (which for a teenager would be the person he/she crushes on the hardest), the parents are the unwitting executioners of their offspring's life... or are they really unwitting? 🫤🥵 Danny and Michael Philippou started an Aussie horror movement with "Talk To Me" that "Leviticus," though not as good as that 2022 horror classic, shares more than a passing resemblance to. Give it a shot, especially if you're looking for more positive LGBTQ representation in the genre. 3.85 EASY-TO-BURN-TO-THE-GROUND ABANDONED FACTORIES (out of five).
Work has finally let up and I'm catching up on some Junesploitation fun!
ReplyDeleteFalling Down (1993, dir. Joel Schumacher)
Look, I typed in "90s action" into Netflix and this popped up. I liked it. A slightly inferior character study when compared to Heat, but it still has plenty to add to the cop v criminal dynamic. Boy, it REALLY paints a damning picture of America in the 90s....
Heat (1995, dir. Michael Mann)
I mean, I had to. It's so good! ("She's got a great ass... and you got your head all the way up it")
Knowing (2009, dir. Alex Proyas)
ReplyDeletePatrick mentioned this a few weeks ago in his Disaster Movies column and I'm so on board with this movie. The plane sequence alone makes the movie, but I really dug the movie's commitment to its own concept. I mean, it really does the thing it sets out to do.
I did the same thing. Watched it because patrick mentionned it
DeleteTHE SHEEP DETECTIVES (2026):
ReplyDeleteSure to be the under-seen gem of the year. Lovely little thing.
"Under-seen"? It's made over $125 million at the box office....against heavyweights in a very competitive summer. 🤑
DeleteVoyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965, dir. Curtis Harrington)
ReplyDeleteIn the distant future of 2020, humankind has colonized the Moon and are set to take the next logical step... Venus? Which we're told is very similar to Earth? Once the astronauts land, accompanied by a clunky robot of course, they're attacked by monstrous lizards, monstrous plants, monstrous flying creatures, and enough fog to almost hide the cheaply made sets.
Director Curtis Harrington took the Soviet sci-fi movie Planet of Storms (1962, dir. Pavel Klushantsev), recut it, dubbed it in English and added some wraparound scenes of his own.
The cheap sets and janky monsters are delightful, and the Jetsons car the astronauts use to traverse Venus's surface and the clumsy robot are fun props. 73-year-old Basil Rathbone was hired to sit in a chair and talk into a mic for five minutes so they could put his name on the poster.
Over Your Dead Body (2026, dir. Jorma Taccone)
An unhappily married man takes his wife on a trip to a remote cabin and plans to kill her there, but it turns out his wife is hatching the exact same plan for him. Complications ensue, some of them quite bloody.
Jason Segel works as a sadsack husband and Samara Weaving is always engaging on screen. The basic premise is great for a dark comedy, but some of the twists and turns it takes are a little too silly to my liking, and the movie constantly keeps cutting to entirely unnecessary flashbacks that invariably took me out of the narrative. There's one needledrop that's kinda funny if you recognize the track (or if, like me, you have the hard-of-hearing subtitles on).
I was curious to see this mainly because it was shot in my hometown, but it takes place almost entirely in the one cabin and the surrounding forest, so no spotting familiar landmarks. The place does look very Finnish though.
Misfits of Science (1985, dir. James D. Parriott)
DeleteTwo scientists working on "oddities" (anything from giant rabbits to invisible people) for a research institute find out their employer has been taken over by an evil businessman bent on turning everything into a weapon of mass destruction. So to oppose them, the two scientists form a team of "weird people" as they call them, including a 7-foot-2 guy who can shrink himself, a telekinetic teenager, a rock guitarist with electrical powers, and a dude who has the power to play basketball I guess.
This was the feature-length pilot episode to an NBC show that got cancelled in the middle of its first season. The all-star cast includes Courteney Cox in one of her first roles, the guy who played the Predator in Predator and Harry in Harry and the Hendersons, Dean Martin's son, the inspector from Young Frankenstein, and one-time Bob Dylan drummer Mickey Jones. The story's just kooky and convoluted enough to be entertaining, the shrinking man effects are adorable, and can anyone dislike something that blasts She Blinded Me with Science during the opening credits?
Triloquist (2008, dir. Mark Jones)
A down-and-out ventriloquist OD's and leaves her daughter, son and ventriloquist's dummy orphaned. They go from foster home to abusive uncle to another foster home, until finally the kids are on the verge of adulthood, and they go on a psychotic rampage of murder, kidnapping, torture and $ex on their way to Las Vegas. Oh, and did I mention the dummy is alive and may or may not be psychically linked to the mute son? But who the hell knows, there's no logic to be found here.
This is some unhinged sh!t and there's way more T&A and ince$t than the premise strictly requires. Paydin LoPachin (no way that's a person's name!) and Rocky Marquette as the sister and brother give two of the craziest performances I've seen in a while, but in very different ways. There's a thin line between a masterpiece and a piece of crap, and I'm not sure which this is. I was entertained though, but I don't know whether that says more about the movie or about me.
(I tried to censor the usual bad words, hope it works.)
Bonus short: Open Door (2023, dir. Kevin Cate)
Two strangers step into an elevator, which takes them to an unknown place of horrors. Or something.
It's a three-minute YouTube short film that's currently being developed into a feature and touted as "the next Backrooms". And when I say short film, it's more of a teaser, clearly designed to be expanded upon. As it is, it's not much to speak of.
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
ReplyDeleteThe great parts are as great as I remember, even better in the case of the animated demons that attempt to kidnap our hero at one point. The macho shit that Milius obviously took pretty seriously is just as laughable as it is revealing about the writers immaturity. James Earl Jones still straightens out a snake and uses it as an arrow so I was pretty much completely onboard.
Vampyres (1974)
ReplyDeleteMy final bite of sexy vampire ladies of the 70s this month is a full-on er0tic horror by José Ramón Larraz. Every evening two vampire ladies stop a man traveling alone and ask for a ride home to an abandoned looking manor in the middle of the woods. There, they woo him with wine and sexy time until it's time to drain him and discard the body in a staged car accident. Rinse and repeat. Things get a little more complicated later on, but not really. The movie gets by on spooky, kinky vibes more than on its pretty basic plot mechanics, which is fine with me. It feels quite Rollin-esque in this way. If you dig this kind of stuff, and I think it's been properly established that I do, you won't regret giving this one a go.
I knew you would have fun on the free days this year, Adam.
DeleteVampyres is one that I have intended to re-visit for a while. I remember it getting pretty mean-spirited at the conclusion.
What can I say, sexy vampires is a subject I feel very passionate about.
DeleteDay of the Dead (1985): Wow, so many sample I've been hearing in songs for years, but never knew they were from this. Now I'm caught up with the first 4 movies of the series, apparently the bests, I'll continue with the rest at some point. Before anybody ask, I didn't get the new 4k, I got the regular Shout blu-ray for fairly cheap. I wanted to be sure. But now I'll probably get the 4k the first chance I get.
ReplyDeleteDoomsday (2008): This has been on my radar for a while, but never got around to it. Starts as 28 Days Later, then turn into Escape From New York, then Excalibur, then Mad Max... because why not! It's a crazy movie. I don't know what happened to Neil Marshall, but he knew how to make a good genre movie back then. At least we got this and The Descent (which I don't think I'll ever rewatch).
Earlier this week I did a John Singleton special: 2 Fast 2 Furious and Four Brothers... 2 movies that were mentioned in a podcast by Adam and/or Patrick, can't remember which one or when.
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003): Not my favorite, but still better than anything after Fast 5.
Four Brothers (2005): I don't remember ever seeing this one, but I'm glad I did now. It was very good. You guys should've said before the bad guy was Chiwetel Ejiofor. Also, what happened to you Terrence Howard? You were so good.
Rolls-Royce Baby (1975): I was trying to think of a movie I could watch to fill my free time and remembered that, somehow, some way, I had an unwatched Lina Romay movie. It’s kismet because yesterday I was looking back at my review of Jack the Ripper, and I had not succumbed to the Stockholm Syndrome of being pulled into the cinematic universe of Jess Franco. In fact, I wrote that I didn’t understand why people loved his movies so much.
ReplyDeleteWhat was I thinking?
Rosa Maria Almirall Martinez was still in high school five years before this movie was filmed, not yet taking the stage name Lina Romay, not yet being the muse of Jess. Also not yet taking on even more stage names — “I’m Lina Romay when I have brown hair, Candy Coster when I have blonde hair, and Lulu Laveme when I have red hair.” — or leaving her husband for Jess.
But in 1975, Lina was in a ton of movies, including Female Vampire and Barbed Wire Dolls. Here, she may play the “Rolls-Royce Baby,” but she’s really an idealized movie version of herself. The film begins with her shaving herself with a straight razor, which could give one the notion of sharp steel blades against young flesh because one tends to think big and obsess when watching Lina Romay movies.
That said, this isn’t a Jess film, even if he may have directed a scene or two (I’m no Stephen Thrower, so I can’t just pull that knowledge out; Ian Jaye did say, “Right out of the gate when asked about this movie Dietrich says that he co-directed it with Jess Franco and that Lina was on loan from him, which is at odds with what most have believed about this film for years. It was commonly held that Franco was not involved in making this movie at all.”). Instead, it was directed by Erwin C. Dietrich, a former actor who moved into directing krimi films like The Strangler of the Tower before turning to adult films, where the money always is.
At some point, after touching herself and taking photos like cosplaying Sylvia Kristel in the wicker chair from Emmanuelle, Lina gets worshipped by Eric Falk (Mad Foxes), whom we’re introduced to when he does full-frontal karate. She then decides to head out in the titular luxury car, picking up a variety of men, from truck drivers to hippie hitchhikers, while he sulks in the car. Some of her lovers include Roman Huber, Ursula Maria Schaefer and Kurt Meinicke.
Those are just facts; as for whether this is a good movie, all I have to say is that I had it playing in the background while I was in a meeting and audibly gasped the moment Lina appeared. Her giant eyes, her porcelain skin, just knowing it’s her… somehow Franco — and by extension Dietrich — were able to take what they loved about her and share it with the world, which is really the finest example of the sharing-caring paradigm I can imagine.
I love that there are reviews that claim this is boring. Lina Romay wears lace and a big hat, staring right at you through the camera, fifty years ago in our time, gone from our realm of existence, but still vibrant, still young, still alive.
You’d gasp too.
First Blood (1982, dir. Ted Kotcheff)
ReplyDeleteFirst Blood takes place during Christmas. There are Christmas trees and Christmas lights all over the place. Let's add this movie into the annoying Die-Hard-Christmas debate (or not).
ADELE HAS NOT HAD SUPPER YET (1978)
ReplyDeleteAmerica’s greatest detective travels to Prague for a case involving a duchess’ kidnapped dog, a sinister botanist, and many, many glasses of pilsner. This is based on Nick Carter, an actual pulp magazine hero from around the 1880s, but it’s a parody in the vein of Adam West’s Batman and/or Peter Sellers’ Pink Panther (hi, Vargas). The wackiness flows like wine, with a real “anything for a laugh” mentality. It’s tricky to keep that tone throughout a whole movie, and this one deflates at times. The special effects were done by famed animator Jan Svankmajer, so that’s pretty cool. And I liked the steampunk gadgets that showed up in the second half. Lots of film snobs have been talking this movie up since it magically appeared on Tubi, but I thought it was more amusing than brilliant.
30 days of fan films, day 29: STRANGE BLADES (2023)
It’s back to Marvel as Blade experiences a prophetic vision after killing some vampires, and then he’s attacked by Ghost Rider. The subsequent investigation takes Blade on a tour through Marvel Universe’s supernatural side and beyond. My big question going into this was how on earth they could pull off Ghost Rider, and I must admit he looks pretty good, flaming skull-head and all. This is another polished, semi-professional fan film, but one that can still have fun with these characters.
Well, B & S, Jess Franco is the theme of my watches this final free day of Junesploitation. It would not be June without Franco in my viewing list. I have watched quite a few clunkers from him, but when I find a film I enjoy, I really enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteNIGHTMARES COME AT NIGHT (1970)
Despite the lack of a plot, the vibe of this film completely won me over. NIGHTMARES is dreamy and sensual, featuring a performance from Diana Lorys, who worked with Jess Franco very early in his career. Lorys is Anna, a s-t-r-i-p-t-e-a-s-e artist in an abusive relationship with a rich woman. Anna is subject to nightmares, many of which involve murdering people. Is she going insane, or is there something nefarious happening around her?
Jess Franco produced this independently, raising funds from people he knew in the business. NIGHTMARES did not get a wide release until the DVD era. Though not as strong a film as the projects with Soledad Miranda that would follow, there is plenty of interesting atmosphere and mood throughout the film. It is not afraid to get weird. That is why this period of Franco's career (late 1960s to the mid-1970s) is my favorite.
DORIANA GRAY (1976)
By 1975, Lina Romay was a staple in Jess Franco's films and his romantic partner. They were together until her death in 2012. Franco died the following year.
Lina Romay brought a more aggressive s-e-x-u-a-l-i-t-y to Franco's films. With the emergence of h-a-r-d-c-o-r-e films in the 1970s, a different market opened up to exploit, and Romay was willing to go that route in her performances. The English version of Doriana Gray shows several unsimulated acts in front of the camera. Romay portrays twin sisters who have an unusual s-e-x-u-a-l connection. One twin is in an asylum, and the other is an heiress living a hedonistic lifestyle. One thing Franco did well is capture women with a camera. There are several striking images of Lina Romay throughout the film. As usual, the filming location is beautiful. Like her role in The Female Vampire, Romay's heiress can drain the lifeforce from people through certain physical contact. It does not make sense, like a lot that is in Doriana Gray. Though I cannot count this among my favorite Franco's, Lina Romay does elevate the film above terrible stuff like the Red Lips (Kiss Me, Monster) movies.
ROADIE (1980) dir. Alan Rudolph
ReplyDeleteMeatloaf plays the world’s greatest roadie who doesn’t know he’s a roadie until he meets up with a groupie determined to lose her virginity to Alice Cooper. He navigates bar fights with Hank Williams Jr and Roy Orbison, parties with Blondie and spits on Clem Burke’s boots, creates a cow pie electrical generator saving an outdoor festival, delivers the groupie to an erudite Cooper(here’s where Wayne’s World got the idea), and all Meatloaf wants to do is get back to his Hee Haw family in Texas led by a pneumatic chair bound Art Carney. This is a lot better than it deserves to be, Meatloaf was that charming. Woulda been even better if they’d let the bands play an entire live song.
The Set-Up
ReplyDeleteI chose this because I know it was a major influence on Martin Scorsese and man, he ain’t kidding. This is a masterpiece. Robert Ryan is excellent in the lead as Stoker Thompson, a past-his-prime pugilist aching for one last win. He takes a fight with a younger hotshot (Hal Baylor) without realizing that his manager has been taking bribes from a gangster. The manager expects the aging fighter to lose anyway so he never tells him about the bribes. Little does he know how determined Stoker is to win.
The story is told in real time, and the boxing sequences are as tense as can be. I started feeling a little dizzy watching them and realized that it was because I was holding my breath from the tension. This is an incredible movie, the kind that has me still buzzing from it an hour later. This is the dragon I’m chasing every time I watch a noir movie, I cannot give it a higher recommendation.
A classic for a reason and that ending gets dark. Robert Ryan is among my favorite actors of this period. I will watch a film just because he is in it.
DeleteThe director, Robert Wise, had a diverse career in Hollywood. Besides The Set-Up, he made classics like The Day The Earth Stood Still, The Haunting, The Sound of Music, and West Side Story. I think his final film was the first Star Trek film. If you have not seen Wise's 1947 noir Born To Kill, that is one you should check out.
One of my favorite noirs! You're spot-on, the boxing scenes are amazing. This also made me go down a Robert Ryan noir rabbit hole!
DeleteKuffs (1992 Dir Bruce A. Evans)
ReplyDeleteWhats good? Milla is as stunning. Christian Slater is in full-on Happy Harry mode and still can't dance, there's minimal Tony Goldwyn, The Bad Guy is not only wearing a shirt with his own picture on it but gets shot thru the head in the picture and Thunder. There are really only two issues with this movie. The sounds effects guy was giving way too much free reign in the edit and we really needed more Thunder.
fun game while watching! Play spot the Ashley Judd. Big points if you can. I didn't know she was in it till the credits
How this movie is only 5.9 on imdb will always baffle me
DeleteKuffs (1992, dir. Bruce A. Evans)
ReplyDeleteI got too intrigued with this being the year of Kuffs, so I gave it a go!
At first it gave an odd Ferris Bueller vibe with the 4th wall soliloquys... and then you know what, I had a fun time. A few unexpected big laughs (IT'S MELTING!!) and all those touches where it showed that it's not taking itself too seriously... convinced me I was onboard. Some of it was a bit iffy but overall so glad I watched it!
I did not spot Ashley Judd. :-/
Patrick did a commentary 👀
DeleteChained Heat 2 (1993)
ReplyDeleteThis was better than I expected. Brigitte Nielson stars as the evil prison warden wrongfully imprisoning some American tourist in an easterun European jail. Bit odd, it is a women in prison movie, and has some obligatory shower scenes, but there are a lot scenes outside the prison, and others inside the prison that don't look like anything you would find in one. I still don't quite understand Bobo's art studio. Ends with a bunch of machine gun wielding women in mini-skirts.
159.- RABID (CANADA, 1977, SHOUT!/SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD). Streaming on AMAZON PRIME, PLEX, ROKU CHANNEL, TUBI, PLUTO, FAWESOME, AMC+.
ReplyDeleteIf you've ever wondered what it would be like if Canadian body horror maestro David Cronenberg ("The Fly '86," "The Dead Zone," "eXistenZ," etc.) ever did a George Romero-type, "Night of the Living Dead"-like zombie apocalypse movie, look no further. Sandwiched neatly between the gratuitously gooey "Shivers" ('75) and his more mature-themed "The Brood" ('79), "Rabid" ('77) follows bike accident victim Rose (adult film actress Marilyn Chambers) going through an experimental skin graft during emergency plastic surgery (!) to save her burned skin. Boyfriend Paul (Frank Moore) suffers less-severe injuries, so he returns to Montreal while Doctor Keloid (Howard Ryshpan) spends weeks nursing Rose back to health at his clinic. When she suddenly awakens, though, Rose cannot eat anything but blood she sucks from other people through a pen!s-like protrusion underneath her armpit. 👀😰Rose escapes the clinic and hitchhikes her way back to Montreal, leaving infected bodies that make rabies-like victims bite other people to spread the disease before eventually dying. Done on the cheap (the dramatic music cues are from the same library used by the 60's "Spider-Man" cartoon! 😅), "Rabid" gets by with atmosphere (convoys of trash compactors to dispose of the dead bodies) punctuated by infrequent-but-shocking, red-paint splattered gore (sorry, Santa mall!). A not-insignificant step in Cronenberg's growth as a horror auteur, even if the 4K transfer doesn't look leaps and bounds better than my decades-old DVD. 😕 3.85 'JOGGING KILLS' LIGHT BLUE SWEATERS (out of five).
You're really into the jogging attire these last two days!
Delete#TheTruthHurtz 😁
DeleteSUZZANNA: PACT WITH THE FORCES OF DARKNESS (1991, Sisworo Gautama Putra, IDN)
ReplyDeleteOh, SUZZANNA! Evidently, she's so powerful, she breaks Blogger every time I push PUBLISH! I have tried multiple times to post and have been censored every time. Needless to say, it's your loss, Junesploitationers, because my review was brilliant. The flick was pretty good, too-- you'll have to take my redacted word for it!
On another note... I caught this flick at the screening room of local video store Movie Madness, an insane resource for Junesploitationers—they have more movies in stock than all streaming services combined, and an extensive psychotronic section! If you’re ever in Portland, I’ll be happy to give you a tour!
TEASER: Nun vs demon kung fu clash!
DeleteI did not have time to get Suzzanna into Junesploitation this year. She is waiting in my collection, though.
Delete160.- THE DEATH OF ROBIN HOOD ('26, THEATER)
ReplyDelete'That's the most boring piece of shit I've ever seen!'
Someone shouted that in the theater I was watching the movie at when the closing credits started. I was thinking the exact same thing and was debating with myself whether to shout it or just walk away. Writer/director Michael Sarnoski ("Pig," "A Quiet Place: Day One") goes the "Green Knight" route of obfuscating reality (or as real as a 17th century poem adapted to film can be) and mixing myth/fantasy in this A24-released tale of an older, bitter, lonely Robin Hood (Hugh Jackman, gruff and humorless to a fault) that seems to leave a trail of bodies from revenge seekers and relatives of old allies (Little John's wife dies while Robin tried to save the former's kidnapped daughter) before being gravely injured in battle and shipped to an island for a healing period. At this point (I swear this is all true) I'm reading "TDORH's" plot summary on Wikipedia, and none of it looks familiar or makes any sense, even though I made it a point to follow the getting-twistier-and-twistier narrative. So many characters (Jody Comers' Sister Brigid, Murray Bartlett's Leper, Noah Jupes' Arthur, etc.) talking highfalutin nonsense. The only logical explanation is that, in a self-preservation move, my brain snapped and erased memories of my viewing of this film for me to preserve my sanity. Not only the worst movie I've seen this June, but likely to be at the bottom of my super-long, end-of-year list. 1... 1.... CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING CLEVER TO SAY (out of five). 🥺😭
1 JOGGING "HOODIE" PULLED OVER FACE TO BLOCK BAD FLICK (out of five)
DeleteYour brain wasn't turned into mush by seeing, then trying to remember "The Death of Roin Hood" for this review. 💩🤕
DeleteHappy to help in your time of trial, J.M.!
Delete161.- BOBBIE JO AND THE OUTLAW (1976, KINO LORBER BLU-RAY). Also streaming on PLUTO, TUBI, MGM+, AMAZON PRIME.
ReplyDeleteIf there's one director worthy of being called Junesploitation! royalty it's Mark L. Lester. "Commando," "Class of 1984/1999," "Showdown in Little Tokyo"... need I say more? 😎👍 Back in 1976, though, Lester was a B-movie director moving drive-in product for American International Pictures. Released the same day as Martin Scorsese's "Taxi Driver," "Bobbie Jo and The Outlaw" starts as a fun hangout picture with Billy the Kid-wannabe Lyle Wheeler (Marjoe Gortner, "Starcrash") stealing a car, picking up hot chick Bobbie Jo (Lynda Carter, TV's "Wonder Woman") and her bestie Essie (Belinda Balaski, "Piranha"), then having Bobbie Jo's older sister Pearl (Merrie Lynn Ross) and her beau 'Slick' Callahan (Jesse Vint) join in. Petty crimes give way to shooting/killing/bank-robbing sprees, with trigger-happy New Mexico Sheriff Hicks (Gene Drew) hot on the gang's trail. Despite being selfish and not really caring about their victims (though Lyle makes sure to leave $100 for the funeral of the dummy gas attendant that challenged him to a duel over an under-$5 gas tab! 🤨🙄) you can't help but sympathize with the modern-day outlaws over the pigs that lie/kill innocent people to try and nab them. The early parts of "BJATO" work best because Gortner and Carter have great chemistry together that, frankly, is diluted by the sitcom-like stacking of additional characters they have to share the narrative with. 'It's fine,' but it could have used a better ending than just reaching a sudden stop. 3.6 LYNDA CARTER TOPLESS SCENES THAT MAKE ME PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! 🫡🤫(out of five).
Read about this in American International Pictures: A Comprehensive Filmography by Rob Craig. Essential Junesploitation research material!
ReplyDeleteWill do. ✌️🙂
Delete162.- STOP! THAT! TRAIN! ('26, THEATER)
ReplyDeleteFor someone who felt "I Love Boosters" was a chore to sit through due to its heavy stylization, I found Adam Shankman's "Stop! That! Train!" much more entertaining despite also relying on style for many... okay, most of its visual humor. An LGBTQ-friendly disaster parody movie about a runaway bullet train for Glamazonian Express running through a once-in-a-lifetime series of 'Stormaganza' deadly weather phenomena (constantly monitored by Rachel Bloom and not her too-busy-being-hetero-men government co-workers), "S!T!T!" also doubles as a talent showcase. Besties and stewardesses Tess and DeeDee (Ginger Minj and Jujubee, respectively), refugees of Stank Rail (the Spirit Airlines of this cinematic universe 🧐), not only have to save the day but be as/more fabulous than veteran hostesses Amber, Alli, and Ayshleiygh (Brooke Lynn Hytes, Marty Lauter and Symone, respectively), who constantly try to upstage them. The whole thing borders on absurdism when U.S. President Judy Gagwell (RuPaul Charles) shows up at the train's cockpit to look heroic, but a comedy like this only needs to make you laugh a few times to be worth your time. And despite its share of stinkers and bad jokes (Sarah Michelle Gellar begging for attention! 😅), "S!T!T!" ultimately delivers the funny and looks fabulous doing so. 3.75 CAMEOS BY 'HOW DID THIS GET MADE?' PODCAST HOSTS (out of five).
The Prowler (1981)
ReplyDeleteDug the killer's outfit. The kills are a bit gnarlier than I expected, though it seems to progress to "just the final girl+1" a bit too quickly. Overall a solid 80s slasher.
163.- HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980, SHOUT/SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD). Streaming on TUBI, FAWESOME, AMC+, PLEX, AMAZON PRIME.
ReplyDeleteNow we're cooking with gas! Thank you Shout Factory for seamless integration of both the theatrical and unrated versions in the same 4K disc of Barbara Peeters' "Humanoids From The Deep." Or as I like to call it, 'what special effects wizard Rob Bottin was working on (this and "The Howling") on his way to making John Carpenter's "The Thing" the monster horror masterpiece we know and love.' Forget the story of the Pacific Northwest fishing town of Noyo fighting amongst itself about accepting or rejecting a cannery business that promises bigger fish catches in the future due to its research department (led by Ann Turkel's Susan Drake scientist). Don't pay attention to racist a-hole fishermen (led by Vic Morrow's Hank Slattery) blaming their lack of fish to catch or dead dogs on the pier on the one Indian fisherman (Anthony Pena's Johnny Eagle). You came to see human-sized giant sea creatures r@pe topless women, slash visitors to Noyo's 70th annual festival and inflict gory mayhem on men's torsos, faces and sliced bellies. And in the uncut version I've seen the movie delivers the goods in glorious, crystal-clear 4K. I saw "HFTD" on regular TV years ago (one of my first Junesploitaiton! reviews back then), but this 4K presentation blows that standard definition memory away.
Yes, the longer a shot doesn't cut away the more ridiculous Botin's humanoid creature design looks ("Alien" meets "Swamp Thing" with a dash of "Pumpkinhead") standing around with its big, wavy arms... but (a) they don't look that bad for the little money you know Roger Corman gave Rob to work with, and (b) I prefer they show me too much than constant cut-aways to nothing to hide the cut needed to get this down to an 'R' rating. And at 80 minutes "HFTD" doesn't have time to outstay its welcome. A lean, mean creature feature with 50's style title name, credits and premise, but 80's gory-as-eff horror presentation. 4.05 NUKE-POWERED MOLOTOV COCKTAILS (out of five).
164.- TUNER ('26, THEATER)
ReplyDeleteThe same dude that starred in/directed this year's phenomenal "The AI Doc" documentary (Daniel Roher) directed/co-wrote this slick heist/human drama about young piano tuner Niki White (Leo Woodall) overcoming his acute hyperacusis [normal everyday sounds feel extremely loud] to help his uncle Harry (Dustin Hoffman) and aunt Maria (Tovah Feldshuh) keep their Tri-State area piano tuning business afloat. Niki's ability to tune his senses to the point he can open mechanical safe boxes attracts the attention of Uri (Lior Raz), a security expert for the rich that steals from them the smaller possessions they don't miss. Niki also catches the eye of Ruthie (Havana Rose Liu), a musician who gradually falls for the wounded soul that Niki reveals himself to be once he opens up to her. Forced by Uri to help him commit crimes, Niki's attempt to hold work, family, girlfriend and extra money together ends up costing him plenty (not "Uncut Gems"-level bad, but up there)... until the very end of "Tuner," when we learn what we've been teased could never be reached was there all along for the taking. Terrific little film. 4.10 JEAN RENOS AS ELDER STATEMENT, MUSIC MAESTRO ROLES.
Legion (2010, dir. Scott Stewart)
ReplyDeleteFun trashy straightforward stuff. Solid cast. Angels with guns, what more could you want?
PLANET TERROR (2007) dir. Robert Rodriguez
ReplyDeleteGRINDHOUSE version
I don’t get people saying this is a subpar exploitation movie. Gorgeous, ass-kicking female leads. A-list villains. Simple premise that doesn’t completely make sense. Genre legends meeting spectacular ends. Gore galore. Gratuitous nudity. Awesome cheese ball one liners. Cannibals. Wisdom for the ages: “Self preservation comes to mind.” Creative action scenes like El Wray’s hospital hallway fight with the butterfly knives. Cool cars and cooler weapons.
I’d say this is RR’s best movie.
Try not to shoot yourselves.
Don’t shoot each other.
But especially… don’t shoot me.
Shaft in Africa (1973)
ReplyDeleteThis is basically a Bond movie, but with a little more violence and sex, and featuring the always charismatic Richard Roundtree. Doesn't quite capture the Blacksploitation feeling as much as the original, but thoroughly entertaining in its own way.
Rush Hour 2 (2001, dir. Brett Ratner)
ReplyDeleteI wanted to watch another Jackie Chan movie and decided on the one that a friend claims is his favorite! (no, he has not seen many.)
Better than I expected! Probably more cool fights than the first movie, but maybe fewer jokes that landed for me. I might marginally prefer the villain's plot in 2as well. But I didn't like the Jackie telescope stuff.
Also I do think I had seen this before (makes it my first intentional rewatch this month)... but I didn't remember almost anything from it this time. /shrug
Circus Island (2006, dir. Judy Landers, Audrey Landers)
ReplyDeleteI forgot to watch this earlier but had been meaning to from the start. I got a decent amount of entertainment from it as a bad movie.
A trapeeze guy leaves his wife and daughter, to marry his wife's sister. Then 10 years later the daughter wants to reunite and ends up bonding with her half-siblings/cousins. Wouldn't you know it, they decide to start a circus training camp for teens, and of course the teens are like pros in a short amount of time. that's the basic weirdass story, and they throw in lots of lame side plots to move things along including a nearly psycho rival to the lead girl, and of course Ghost Gramps.
The main takeaways for me were the almost complete lack of emoting from the lead girl and the all-around bad writing. It feels like they had a basic idea, and a setting available to them... that's it. There were so many cliched plot points and bad dialogue, it felt like padding and desperation to connect their main story up in some kind of flow. And the music! How could I forget those repetitive island tunes!
What were they thinking, making this movie? Ghost Gramps (explaining why he's there) said it best: Who knows? It was featured on HDTGM recently so I'll listen to that episode later. I'll be interested to hear what about it they dug so much.