Review: MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE

 by Rob DiCristino

Boys with toys.

While it’s seen more than a dozen permutations across a variety of multi-media platforms since Mattel released the first Masters of the Universe toys back in 1982, it’s fair to say that most fans of He-Man’s adventures in Eternia were introduced to the franchise with Filmation’s animated series, which was broadcast in weekday syndication from 1983 to 1985. Over 130 episodes, He-Man and his rotating lineup of colorful, fully-poseable allies faced off against the sinister Skeletor in an epic battle for the fate of the universe. Hoping to capitalize on the franchise’s popularity, the Cannon Group brought a live-action Masters of the Universe to the big screen in 1987, a film that — though a critical and commercial failure at the time — has been reappraised in some circles as a landmark in low-budget fantasy schlock. In fact, I’d venture a guess that most of you reading this right now remember He-Man and Masters of the Universe with warm nostalgia — it was a simpler time, an era (era) of possibility unmarred by the cruel, Skeletor-like yoke of adult responsibility.

And while I’m a bit too young to share in that nostalgia — I was born in 1986, just after He-Man’s heyday — Amazon MGM and director Travis Knight (CEO of animation giant Laika) have brought Eternia back to life again. The new Masters of the Universe begins as Adam (a winning Nicholas Galitzine) recounts his childhood in the faraway kingdom, which he was forced to flee after Skeletor (Jared Leto, blessedly masked) stole the throne from his father, King Randor (James Purefoy). Stranded on Earth for the last fifteen years, Adam has finally tracked down the Sword of Power, a legendary artifact that opens a path to home. Now, he’ll team up with his childhood friend, Teela (a game Camila Mendes), and her father, the Man-At-Arms (Idris Elba, still trapped in IP hell), to free Eternia from Skeletor and his sorceress (Alison Brie as Evil-Lyn) before their darkness consumes it forever. Along the way, he’ll discover the power of the Sword of Power and use the words of power to become the powerful…You know what? It’s He-Man. Big guy. Fights evil. You get it.

But does Amazon get it? Masters of the Universe certainly presents with enough credibility to satisfy the most ardent fans — each costume, weapon, and setting is pulled right from the source material, producing an unabashedly-cartoonish Filmation wonderland that would have been impossible to pull off back in the old Fox X-Men days — and Daniel Pemberton’s muscular score (with wailing guitars courtesy of Queen’s Brian May) is beefy enough to fill every loin cloth in the theater. Knight’s action setpieces are goofy and playful: Adam swings his signature sword with reckless abandon, while a supporting cast of minions and warriors — including Fisto (Jóhannes Jóhannesson), Ram-Man (Jon Xue Zhang), Karg (Hung Dante Dong) and Trap Jaw (Sam C. Wilson) — wields their Battle Accessories™ to satisfying effect. And while he never comes close to the theatrical bombast of Frank Langella’s 1987 performance, Jared Leto aims his Skeletor at the cheap seats, slicing off a few prime cuts of ham and bouncing off Brie’s cackling Evil-Lyn with ease.

But while there seems to have been no debate about how this Masters of the Universe should look and sound, the film’s six credited screenwriters must have been locked in their own mortal struggle about how it should feel. What begins as an earnest adventure story of heroes and villains quickly shifts gears into post-modern Marvel smarm, with winking asides made about nearly every Eternian oddity and character nickname (get ready for uncomfortable jokes about Fisto fisting his enemies, Ram-Man “giving them head,” and Battlecat being a “pussy”). Knight tries to balance this self-awareness with the pathos of James Gunn’s Guardians films and the metatextual wit of Greta Gerwig’s Barbie — undercooked Aesops about “inner vs. outer strength,” etc. — but ends up with an atonal cacophony that seems thoroughly embarrassed by the very fantasy world it’s created. Skeletor may have been a haughty megalomaniac in the old days, but he’s literally Dr. Evil now, with extended cringe bits and awkward pratfalls played for laughs at his expense.

And, look. There’s no sense in asking why Amazon would remake Masters of the Universe if they had no intention of handling the material seriously. The answer is the same as it was back in 1982: To sell toys. And that’s fine! These aren’t real characters, after all; they’re products, and no one’s asking for the Dark Knight of Masters of the Universe movies. These colorful, fully-articulated action figures demand little in the way of subtext — “Because he’s evil,” answers Teela when Adam tries to uncover a deeper meaning to Skeletor’s diabolical plans — and there are countless moments when Knight and his crew wisely forgo any dramatic nuance and, instead, see fit simply to smash their toys into each other at high speeds. There’s a clear understanding of and reverence for the source material here, and most of the (literal) sword-carrying MOTU devotees in my preview audience were howling with delight by the time the credits rolled. If you want nothing — and I mean absolutely nothing — more than that from Masters of the Universe, then you, my friend, have the power.

Masters of the Universe hits U.S. theaters on Friday, May 5th.