2K Replay: MIRACLE

 by Adam Riske

Winner for “Best Sports Movie” at the ESPY Awards.

Heavy Action: Under Siege / Sudden Death

The greatest action movie ever made is unquestionably Die Hard, a movie so iconic and successful that it became its own kind of brand name. Action movies were ripping it off for years following its release, and their screenplays just used Die Hard as a kind of plot shorthand: "It's Die Hard in a _______." It's how we ended up with Passenger 57 (it's Die Hard on an airplane!), Speed (it's Die Hard on a bus!), Cliffhanger (it's Die Hard on a mountain!), No Contest (it's Die Hard at a beauty pageant!) and, of course, the movies we're talking about today.

Seagal. Van Damme. Who will die hardest?

F These Hockey Movies

Yes, the Chicago Blackhawks are the 2010 Stanley Cup Champions. We can't F hockey, because it remains a frozen mystery. But we can F these movies with hockey in them.

F Slapshot. F Miracle. Those are too obvious. These are real hockey movies.

1. Sudden Death (1995) - Jean-Claude Van Damme stars a security guard in Die Hard-in-a-hockey rink, directed by Chicago's own Peter Hyams (which explains why one of teams featured in the film is the Blackhawks). So stupid. Van Damme just wants his kids back.

2. Clerks (1994) - Rooftop hockey. The scene features the only special effect in Clerks, in which producer Scott Mosier yells at Scott Mosier.

3. D2: The Mighty Ducks - There's no reason to choose this over the original Mighty Ducks except that the title makes no fucking sense. Remember that movie T2: The Terminator or P2: There Was No Movie Called P (Because What the Fuck is P2?)

4. Swingers (1996) - I'm gonna make Wayne Gretzky's head bleed for Superfan number 99 over here.

5. Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982) - Because hockey mask.