Johnny Showtime: Free Space Double Feature: FIEND OF DOPE ISLAND and HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER

 by JB

Another free space day can only mean one thing: dope fiends and monster makers!

Lately, I have been reorganizing the physical media wing of the JB Film Research Library West. Am I ever NOT reorganizing the physical media wing of the JB Film Research Library West? I am sad that Something Weird Video closed with the passing of founder Mike Vraney, but I am happy that I managed to amass a collection of their amazing Double Feature Exploitation discs. (Gosh, that last sentence was a mouthful.) I’m not sure how many in total (as opposed to “in half”) were released.

COLUMNUS INTERUPTUS: I couldn’t help myself; I looked it up on the Google. When Something Weird was still a going concern, they released about 120 of these very special discs through Image Entertainment. The invisible brain in my laptop machine informs me that, “The highly successful partnership lasted for years, pairing obscure exploitation, nudie-cutie, and sexploitation films with a robust collection of bonus trailers, burlesque shorts, and vintage B-movie oddities.” I number my personal stash at about a hundred. Because each one is a double feature, that’s some two hundred sleazy, cheesy gems that I can WATCH WHENEVER I WANT. (Take that, Netflix!) Some of those titles are slowly being released for the Blu-ray machine, courtesy of companies like AGFA and Film Masters. Thank goodness for that.

As I was reorganizing (Checking to make sure that all the Something Weird discs were correctly alphabetized because if they weren’t, how could I sleep?) I came upon a disc that I had never ever watched. It’s intriguing title, Fiend of Dope Island. This caught my attention. I have been described as both a “fiend” and a “dope.” I would like to one day live on an island. I had found my entertainment for the evening.

THE PLOT IN BRIEF: Whipmaster/taskmaster Charlie Davis (Bruce Bennet) owns an island in the Caribbean. Running an island and acting the despot are not inexpensive hobbies. How does Charlie earn his living? Simple. He grows and sells weed. He runs illegal guns to the mainland. He owns a sleazy bar and overcharges for drinks. He hires comely “female entertainer” Gloria La Verne (Tania Velia) to amuse his rum-soaked clients by dancing the hootchie-coo while he plays the bongo drums. It’s a gas, man.

Charlie doesn’t know that one of his hired thugs is actually an undercover narcotics agent (Robert Bray). Say... what’s that killer shark doing out there, swimming in the shallows? Some wag on the YouTube machine described Fiend of Dope Island as “Gilligan’s Island Meets Jaws.”

FILM TRIVIA: American rock band The Cramps named their 2003 album Fiends of Dope Island as an homage to this unique film.

Co-star Tania Velia was billed as the "Yugoslavian Bombshell" and appeared in the July, 1959 issue of Playboy magazine. Several of her scenes were censored in the United States. I’m sure her literal two seconds of nudity really helped sell the film overseas.

NO WORRIES IF YOU’RE NOT LUCKY ENOUGH TO OWN THE DISC:
If you’re willing to ignore copyright, a fine-looking print rests here:

 


Enjoy. It’s 75 minutes long. If you don’t get to it today, there are two more free space days on the 21st and 29th.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: Back in April, National treasure Svengoolie showed How to Make a Monster on his Saturday night program, and I was reminded of how much I love that little movie. It was made as something of a cash grab after Herman Cohen’s previous films, I Was a Teenage Werewolf and I Was a Teenage Frankenstein became unexpected drive-in hits. How to Make a Monster allows us to see just what happened to those two teenaged monster boys. It makes me sad that we are all precluded from legally viewing the first two films because they are part of the “Susan Hart Eleven.”

What are the "Susan Hart Eleven?" Why, thank you for asking! The "Susan Hart Eleven" is a group of AIP drive-in pictures that are no longer legitimately available on home video because the rights belong to Susan Hart... and she refuses to license them. How did the rights to these eleven films fall into the hands of Susan Hart? Simple—she was married to AIP co-founder James H. Nicholson. When he died, the rights reverted to her. I am not making this up.

I wish some enterprising boutique video label would put out a 4K Blu-ray boxset titled “The Susan Hart Eleven.” It would contain: It Conquered the World (1956) and its 1966 remake, Zontar; The Thing from Venus; Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957) and its 1965 remake The Eye Creatures; I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957); I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957); The Amazing Colossal Man (1957); Terror from the Year 5000 (1958); Apache Woman (1955); The Oklahoma Woman (1956); and Naked Paradise (1957). My God, Apache Woman was the second film Roger Corman ever directed! These films are history! Are you listening, Vinegar Syndrome? Imprint? Shout Factory? Miss Hart?!

ANYONE? Hello?

THE PLOT IN BRIEF: Pete Dumond (Robert H. Harris), head make-up artist and chief weirdo at American International Studios, faces a bit of a bind. Though his monster creations have made the studio big profits, a new regime of studio executives wants to phase out horror movies and throw Pete out on his ass. What can Pete do? File a grievance with his local union representative? Try to find employment at another studio? Retire peacefully, mentor young make-up artists, and perhaps write a book?

No, Pete decides on something much simpler. He mixes a “numbing agent” into the foundation cream of the last two actors to play monsters at the studio. With their minds sufficiently numbed, he persuades them that they will never act in the movies again unless they do exactly what he says. The “numbing agent” deadens the willpower of the hapless two, and they kill studio executives at Pete’s behest.

Silly Pete! He should have just waited eight months for the new studio executives to be fired and replaced. In Hollywood, this happens like clockwork.

In How to Make a Monster, not only do we get to see American International Pictures poking good-natured fun at its own expense, but we also get to see: 1) a full-length musical number featuring John Ashley that has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the film; 2) Gary Conway reprising his role in I Was a Teenage Frankenstein. Michael Landon could not be lured back after I Was a Teenage Werewolf. He is replaced by Gary Clarke; 3) Though the film is in black and white, the last ten minutes are in full fiery color. Turns out, producer Cohen had a theory that if the end of the picture were in color, the audience would think the whole thing was in color. I’m not quite sure if this worked.

NO WORRIES IF YOU’RE NOT LUCKY ENOUGH TO OWN THE DISC:
If you’re willing to ignore copyright, a fine-looking print rests here:

Enjoy. This is one of the best-looking prints of the film I have ever seen. It looks better than my Shout Factory Blu-ray disc. It’s 70 minutes long. This film would also work for “Revenge Day” on June 22nd, given our main protagonist’s motive, or really any day that you are looking for some cheap thrills.