FTM 825: HARD BOILED with Michael Scott

Action for Everyone host Michael Scott returns to talk with Patrick about a Hong Kong action masterpiece.

Johnny Showtime: Things You Can Buy If You Have Money

 by JB

A quick glimpse into the physical media offerings between now and Christmas.
Get rid of Halloween, I tells ya’, and Christmas rises to NUMBER ONE!
NUMBER ONE, JERRY!

Johnny Showtimes: THE KILLER and HARD BOILED

 by JB

For today’s Junesploitation theme, you cannot do better than this pair of John Woo masterpieces.

Friday Night Double Features Vol. 53

 by Adam Riske and Patrick Bromley

10 new double features to watch if your team is eliminated from the NBA Playoffs.

Notes on Film: Favorite Film Discoveries of 2023

 by Anthony King

A fine year at the movies.

Notes on Film: Get Horny!

 by Anthony King

Yeah, you heard me!

Notes on Film: Oops All Movies!

 by Anthony King

No pot-stirring this week.

Notes on Film: Why Do We Hate Movies

 by Anthony King

Time to stop being a fun sponge.

Notes on Film: 2023 Movie Goals

 by Anthony King

2023: The Year Of...

FTM 589: BROKEN ARROW

Patrick and Adam Riske celebrate '90s action day for #Junesploitation by talking John Woo, stolen nukes, and bad guy Travolta. Ain't it cool?

Reserved Seating Rents a Stack of Movies

by Adam Riske and Rob DiCristino

The review duo who went back to watch Unforgettable (1996), Broken Arrow, and Mr. Holland’s Opus.

F This Movie! - Face/Off

Patrick and Doug switch faces.

Netflix This Movie! Vol. 130

Our weekly round-up of what you should be watching on Netflix Instant this weekend!

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug: #FThisMovieFest 4 Edition

by Doug Schultz

In celebration of this weekend's epic F This Movie Fest 4 extravaganza, Flick Bait is once again being commandeered by my old column. So let's watch some trailerz from 1993, and learn some fun facts about our five movies!

Netflix This Movie! Vol. 24

Netflix dumped about 1,800 titles from its streaming option this week. Good thing they left these excellent movies we think you should watch.

Netflix This Movie! Vol. 7

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug is on vacationz this week, so enjoy these enjoy these movie recommendationz instead.

Heavy Action: Rumble in the Bronx / The Replacement Killers

by Patrick Bromley

Welcome to America, boys. We're sorry.

F These Hitman Movies

The Jason Statham remake of The Mechanic comes out this week, and I'm sure it will be to die for. Just kidding. It will be a hit. Number one with a bullet. What I mean is that I'm sure it will murder our eyes. Let's F past hitman movies.

1. The Jackal (1997) - Bruce Willis toupee parade + Richard Gere's Irish accent + rampant homophobia + Mathilda May with clothes on + armless Jack Black = you're welcome.

2. Wanted (2008) - If you were to combine The Matrix with Fight Club and a craaaazy Russian, this is the movie you might get. How much you enjoy Wanted is entirely dependent on just how stupid you want your movies to be. And how much of boring Angelina Jolie's gross, bony, boring ass you'd like to see. Very much!

3. Panic (2000) - A fantastic, barely-released hitman comedy-drama from Henry Bromell, who hadn't made a film before this and hasn't had a theatrical film since. Underseen and underrated. William H. Macy is duh great and the movie has some very dark things to say about fathers and sons. Plus, Neve Campbell makes out with a girl if you're into that sort of thing. Very much!

4. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) - It's hard to make a movie that's genuinely cool without being self-conscious, but that's what John Cusack and his friends were able to do with this pitch-black comedy. It gives Cusack one of his best roles ever: ascerbic, cynical, dark and homicidal. Much of it feels dated now, but I love it a lot. I don't want to get into a semantic argument about it, I just want the protein.

5. Assassins (1995) - You might think that on a list of good hitman movies, a movie called Assassins might be looked at favorably. You might be wrong. You ARE wrong (this is also true of Hitman). Sylvester Stallone is boring, the script by the pre-Matrix Wachowski siblings is nonsense and Amber Waves keeps her pants on the whole time.

6. The Killer (1989) - It's impossible to picture the '90s movie landscape without John Woo's cult classic. There's a lot of what we like about John Woo on display, too, but it's been 20 years and maybe now we can admit that the movie is a tad too operatic (because John Woo) and a little overrated. We're still nerd friends, right?

7. The Professional (1994) - One of the best hitman movies since Le Samourai; it's not coincidence that both are FRENCH (add La Femme Nikita to the list and they've got the market cornered). I'll get lots of shit for saying this, but the weakest part of the movie is still Gary Oldman. In a movie that's very European in its tone and attitude, his character and performance is VERY LOUD AND AMERICAN. Not bad, just out of touch with what's around him. And a little bad. Wee Natalie Portman is great, and it might be the first/last time Jean Reno was interesting.

8. Le Samourai (1967) - Il n'y a pas de plus profonde solitude que celle de samouraï si ce n'est celle d'un tigre dans la jungle... peut-être...

9. Bangkok Dangerous (2008) - Someone please wake Nicolas Cage, please. With BEES.

10. Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999) - Ignoring the fact that this movie has one of the worst/best/worst titles this side of Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Jim Jarmusch's hip-hop/gangster/samurai mash-up is actually very awesome. There is nothing about these elements that should work together. There's nothing about Forrest Whitaker that should work, either, and yet most of him does.

Thanksf'ing #4: Five Movies for Which Mark Ahn is Thankful

It's November, and that can mean only one thing at F This Movie! -- it's time to celebrate the holiday of Thanksf'ing. Throughout the month, all of the F This Movie! crew will be sharing the movies for which they are thankful. Because the Mayflower.

Next up for Thanksf'ing is a list from Mark Ahn:

1. Charade - A basketful of awesome elements I never thought would combine: Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Stanley Donen directing, Peter Stone's writing, wit, mystery, suspense, Paris. I don't think I quite appreciated "older" films until I came across this one, and it opened up an entire universe of film that I had never considered watching. With a $100 Blockbuster gift card, I decided to try and conquer it. Charade is also memorable in my own life as the movie with which I browbeat a department chair during an interview, after he mentioned that he taught film. "Oh, have you seen Charade?" I asked. "No, never heard of it." Rant on. Apparently, I love this film enough to not accept potential employment. Some things, like stupidity, are not negotiable.

2. Hero - Zhang Yimou's beautifully textured, multiple perspective showpiece captured my attention, despite the fact that I watched it first without English subtitles, which made things...complicated. I was thankful that the weight of the scale they depicted felt more real than in other epics of the same magnitude. A cloud of arrows never looked so menacing, nor did swordplay ever look so graceful, nor the power of a word so uniquely presented.

3. Hard Boiled - You ever think that 10,000 bullets would be enough for one 15-minute gunfight? I never thought so either, until three guys jumped around in a tiny room shooting at each other from impossible angles. I miss the John Woo who still had his fastball, because he created the best, fluid, kinetic gun-fu that ever unloaded a clip in slow motion. It's the John Woo who had characters solve difficult problems with wit, style and guts, before everything became a messy charicature covered in doves flying out of fire. That's right; fire doves.

4. Fight Club - The work that made David Fincher and Chuck Pahlaniuk the Ayn Rands of their generation, because, much like The Fountainhead, so many people who watch or read Fight Club swear to its veracity, probably because so few of who watched (and enjoyed) it could ever act out the freedom they saw on screen. There are certainly other films that are more controversial, or grittier, or more thoughtfully postmodern (or whatever), but I don't think I find those as rewatchable.

5. Memento - The most impressive thing about this Christopher Nolan movie is that it taught me, film lover but technical novice, about how the structure of the medium could manipulate audience perception. Either I was too stupid to notice other films which had done it before, or I needed to see an extreme example, like the anterograde amnesia of the main character, to understand it. It was another upshift in my love of suspense movies, like a twist to the twist.

Got a movie or movies you're thankful for? Email us at fthismoviepodcast(at)gmail.com and share. We'll be reading submissions on the podcast all month long. Happy Thanksf'ing!