Your 2024 Flashback Weekend Preview

by Patrick Bromley

Now in it's 22nd year!

Blind Spots No More

by Erika Bromley

I watched a record amount of movies for Scary Movie Month this year, and that’s saying a lot for someone who (like all of you reading this) grew up loving movies and watching as many as I could. It’s the “as many as I could” part that is different for all movie lovers.

Director Doubles: John Carpenter & Paul Verhoeven

by Patrick Bromley

This was a hard one.

Five Movies Almost Directed by Tobe Hooper

by Patrick Bromley

As much as I would love to have seen Tobe Hooper direct any of these, I'm not willing to give up the movies we got instead.

Heath Holland On...Kurt Russell

by Heath Holland

Here are a few reasons why Kurt Russell has become my favorite actor.

Better Than This Summer: Summer '82

by Patrick Bromley

This one is probably unfair, because I don't know if any summer can compare to the summer of '82.

24 Hours of Movies: Kurt Russell Rules

by Patrick Bromley

The Kurt Russell Rule is this: Kurt Russell rules.

24 Hours of Movies: Dog Gone It

by Patrick Bromley

These 24 hours have gone to the dogs! And now you should have me put to sleep.

Growing Up Nerdy

by Adam Thas and Mike Pomaro

The Nerdy boys will keep you up all night.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Oct. 11)

Quickly, you guys are KILLING IT (pun intended) on the Scary Movie Challenge. Keep up the ghoul[d] work! For my second installment of #ScaryMovieMonth horror trailerz, let's talk SCARY SCI-FI! It's a shame that Mant! isn't a real movie.

Director Essentials: John Carpenter

by Patrick Bromley

Here's something you already knew: John Carpenter is the best.

Our Favorite Movie Monsters

You can't have scary movies without the Something Scary. Here are some of our favorite movie monsters.

And don't forget to keep posting in the Scary Movie Challenge III! You guys are killing it so far.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (August 5)

My wife and I got Blue Valentine in the mail from Netflix about five weeks(!) ago. It's just sitting on our table, collecting dust. I really can't bring myself to watch it, even though I know it's good. Thing is, I also know it's a hard movie to watch. Like, isn't it about falling OUT of love, and the pain and heartache associated with loss? And, while those movies are often "good," they sometimes feel like work. And, at the end of the day, isn't it way easier to re-watch The Blues Brothers for the 80th time on HDNet? Because that's what we did two nights ago. And I don't regret it.

F This Movie! - Our Favorite Alien Invasion Movies!

Nice planet. Patrick and Alex will take it.

F These Snow Movies

Since most of us at F This Movie! are currently buried by 14 feet of snow, it seems like a great time to F movies that take place in the snow. So let's build a snowman. We can make him our best friend. We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf.

1. The Thing (1982) - John Carpenter's best movie (sorry, Halloween) is also one of the best horror movies ever made. Rarely has cold and snow seemed more desolate or oppressive. The murderous alien freakshow only makes it worse.

2. Fargo (1996) - Speaking of the best movies ever made.

3. Snow Day (2000) - You would think that a movie celebrating the limitless possibilities of the most glorious of days would be fun. Snow Day isn't.

4. The Shining (1980) - See the above description of The Thing, only swap out "murderous alien freakshow" for "creepy fucking twins and elevator blood and pig face head and Jack Nicholson."

5. Ravenous (1999) - Wow, it sure is cold out here. You guys got anything to eat?

6. Whiteout (2009) - The only thing more boring than endless landscapes of blank, white snow? Kate Beckinsale. Seriously. Fuck her.

7. The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - Because HOTH and I thought they smelled bad on the outside.

8. A Simple Plan (1998) - Sam Raimi graduates from horror and comic books and does a stellar Gothic tragedy with a black, black heart. Great movie. Sam Raimi would then move on to comic books and Kevin Costner. Because progress.

9. Better Off Dead (1985) - This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?

10. Frozen (2010) - Adam Green's non-Hatchet horror movie is basically Open Water on a ski lift, but it's still a really effective exercise in building tension and knowing just how awful to be. If only those CGI wolves would have stayed out of it.

F These Horror Movie Remakes

Alexandre Aja's Piranha 3-D is coming out this weekend, and we all know it's going to CG chew our CG penises off. Time to look back and F some past horror movie remakes.

1. Dawn of the Dead (2004) - Zack Snyder took one of the best and most relevant horror movies of all time and made it into a movie about nothing. Still, it's an awesome movie about nothing, with fantastic set piece (those first 10 minutes are holy shit) after fantastic set piece. I will never stop telling the post-credit coda to fuck off, but this is a damn good horror movie, remake or not. Also, zombie baby.

2. Halloween (2007) - One of the most controversial remakes of all time doesn't deserved to be loved or hated, but rather studied. Rob Zombie spends half a movie doing his usual white-trash f-bomb thing to discover "where evil began" (Michael Myers doesn't need an origin) and the second half of the movie slavishly imitating John Carpenter's original. It's a mess and I don't understand its existence and f you I still kind of like it.

3. The Thing (1982) - John Carpenter's "re-imagining" (barf) of The Thing From Another World is in a tight race with David Cronenberg's The Fly for Best Remake of All Time. Still my favorite John Carpenter movie (suck it, Halloween) and one of the best horror movies ever made.

4. The Hills Have Eyes (2006) - Alexandre Aja's first horror remake is totally 2-D but also kind of good. Yes, it's overly bloody and mean-spirited and someone drinks a bird, but it's hard to deny the movie's brutal effectiveness. It's also hard to deny Claire from Lost.

5. The Blob (1988) - If John Carpenter's The Thing and David Cronenberg's The Fly are the best remakes ever made, then Chuck Russell's take on The Blob (blub) is the most underrated. Frank Darabont wrote the script and Johnny Drama's mullet star in this endlessly clever, gory movie that totally kicks ass (blub).

6. Psycho (1998) - Because Alfred Hitchcock forgot to include all the jerking off.

7. The Wicker Man (2006) - Not the bees. Not the beeeeees.

8. House on Haunted Hill (1999) - William Malone's remake of William Castle's original should be filed under "better than it has any right to be." Yes, there is the terrible CG and the Chris Kattan and the Lisa Loeb roller coaster cameo (I'm just so scared to lose), but Geoffrey Rush is awesome and some stuff is genuinely creepy. For devoted genre fans only.

9. House of Wax (2005) - Paris Hilton + spear in the forehead = still a shitty movie.

10. The Wolfman (2010) - Here you go.